THE BENBOW INN
Music cue 1: Serving Girls. After song ends…Exit Serving Girls [SL]
Enter Henrietta [SR]
HENRIETTA: Hello folks! Welcome to The Admiral Benbow! If you’ve come for the karaoke, I’m afraid it’s been cancelled, but you can still have a little sing. Whenever you hear the pirate’s song fifteen men on a dead man’s chest! You can all join in and sing, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum! Let’s have a practice then. Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest! Wonderful! My name’s Henrietta Hawkins and I’m a widow. [elicit sympathy] It’s sadder than that. I’d only been married a year when my husband’s ship sank with all hands, leaving me to bring up a child on my own. I then sank the insurance money into this pub, which I run with the help of my son Jim. But I’ve decided to stop selling spirits because I make more selling our strong homebrew. So, if you hear anybody say I’ll have a stiff one. I want you all to shout, not in here you won’t! Okay? I’m just off to ring Doctor Livesey about a personal matter. See you all later! [exits SL]
Enter Jim and Maggie arm-in-arm [SR]
JIM: You know how your father has forbidden us to see each other because I’m so poor, Maggie?
MAGGIE: Yes Jim, and it’s so unfair. Money shouldn’t matter where love is concerned.
JIM: I agree Maggie, but I think he’ll soon be changing his tune.
MAGGIE: Have you won the lottery Jim!?
JIM: No, but I’m hoping to become even richer than a lottery winner.
MAGGIE: But how, Jim?
JIM: I intend to go to sea and make my fortune, by finding treasure.
MAGGIE: Sunken treasure?
JIM: Sunken, lost, buried, lying about on the ground. Any kind of treasure, really.
MAGGIE: Wouldn’t it be safer trying to find it on land instead?
JIM: Don’t worry Maggie, ships are very safe these days.
MAGGIE: Didn’t your father die at sea?
JIM: Yes Maggie, but that was just a freak accident.
MAGGIE: What happened to him?
JIM: His ship sank.
MAGGIE: But doesn’t that happen often Jim?
JIM: No Maggie, ships usually only sink the once.
MAGGIE: Have you ever been to sea before Jim?
JIM: No, but I’m sure I’ll take to it like a fish to water.
MAGGIE: But if you’re at sea too long, then I’m scared we might drift apart.
JIM: That will never happen Maggie. You’ll always be my anchor in the sea of life.
MAGGIE: And you’ll always find safe a harbour in my port Jim. Music cue 2: Maggie and Jim. After song ends…Anyway, I’d better be getting home now, or father might come looking for me.
JIM: Okay Maggie, I’ll walk you to the bus stop.
MAGGIE: You can’t do that, Jim.
JIM: Why not?
MAGGIE: Because busses haven’t been invented yet.
JIM: The coach and horses stop then.
Exit Jim and Maggie [SL]
Enter Henrietta [SR]
HENRIETTA: I thought I heard Jim’s voice just now.
Enter Dr Livesey [SL]
DOCTOR: Good evening Mrs Hawkins.
HENRIETTA: Dr Livesey, how good of you to call at such short notice.
DOCTOR: Well, it did sound quite urgent. Now, what seems to be the trouble?
HENRIETTA: It’s a bit delicate, Doctor.
DOCTOR: [produces a tube of cream] Take this cream and rub it on the affected area.
HENRIETTA: It’s not that this time Doctor.
DOCTOR: Then what is it?
HENRIETTA: I’m considering getting remarried, but I don’t want any more kids. What method of birth control would you recommend?
DOCTOR: In your case, leaving the light on.
HENRIETTA: I’ll put yours out in a minute! [coughs roughly]
DOCTOR: Are you all right Mrs Hawkins?
HENRIETTA: It’s my chest Doctor, it’s terribly rough.
DOCTOR: I can see that.
HENRIETTA: Would you mind having a look at it for me?
DOCTOR: If I must, but I’ll need a drink first.
HENRIETTA: What would you like, Doctor?
DOCTOR: I’ll have a stiff one.
HENRIETTA: [leads audience] Not in here you won’t!
DOCTOR: [produces a stethoscope] On second thoughts, forget the drink. I want to get this over with quickly. [listening to her chest] Mmm…ooh…aah!
HENRIETTA: [worried] What is it Doctor Livesey?
DOCTOR: Beg pardon?
HENRIETTA: [shouts into end of stethoscope] What is it!?
DOCTOR: Aaaah! You could’ve done me a nasty injury just then, Mrs Hawkins!
HENRIETTA: There’s still time. Now, what did you hear?
DOCTOR: It’s a sort of regular, bom-bom…bom-bom…bom-bom.
HENRIETTA: That’s my heart, you fool!
DOCTOR: I’ve always wondered what that sound was. Close your eyes. [she does and he holds a spotted handkerchief in front of her face] What do you see?
DOCTOR: Open them again. [she does] Now, what do you see?
DOCTOR: [shouts] Do you suffer from headaches!?
HENRIETTA: [holding her head] Well, I do now!
DOCTOR: [spins her round several times] How do you feel Mrs Hawkins?
HENRIETTA: [wavers] Dizzy.
DOCTOR: Spots before the eyes, headaches, and dizziness? It’s just as I suspected.
HENRIETTA: What is it Doctor Livesey?
DOCTOR: You’re run down.
HENRIETTA: I knew I’d been working too hard. What do you suggest, Doctor?
DOCTOR: I suggest a nice long sea voyage. The longer the better.
HENRIETTA: Oooh! I’ve always fancied a nice long sea cruise on the sea.