The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz (Perusal)

Scene One

Munchkinland

A pair of legs in striped socks protrude from underneath the front of the house.

Enter Munchkins cautiously (SR)

Munchkin 1 Look everybody! That house has dropped right on top of Morag, the Witch!

Munchkin 2 She won’t bother us anymore, then.

Munchkins Hooray! Music cue 2: Munchkins. After song ends…

Munchkin 3 Let’s go and tell Glinda, the good news.

Exit Munchkins (SR)

Enter Skeeter from the house.

Skeeter How ya doin y’all?

Dorothy (off) What’s it like outside, Skeeter?

Skeeter It’s indescribable, Dorothy! I think we might’ve died and gone to heaven.

Enter Aunt Em and Dorothy, who is now wearing ruby slippers.

Aunt Em What are you talking about, Skeeter? (looks about) ‘Ere! Where’s my farm gone?

Skeeter I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore, Aunt Em.

Dorothy Gosh Toto. We must be over the rainbow, just like I wished.

Music cue 3: Enter Glinda (SR) followed by Munchkins.

Skeeter (pointing at Glinda) Look! It’s an angel!

Aunt Em It’s true! We’re all dead! (wails) Waahh!

Skeeter Yes, but look on the bright side. At least we’re not…(pointing down)…down there.

Aunt Em You mean, Australia?

Skeeter No, the other place.

Aunt Em Oh, yes. That’s probably even hotter than Australia.

Glinda (pointing her wand at Dorothy) Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

Dorothy I’m not a witch, at all. I’m Dorothy Gale, from Kansas.

Glinda (pointing at Aunt Em) Then she must be the bad witch. Bad witches are always ugly. Although, she’s the ugliest I’ve ever seen.

Aunt Em Watch it, you overgrown Barbie!

Glinda The Munchkins said that a new witch had just dropped a house on Morag, the Wicked Witch of the East. (pointing at the legs) And I can see they were telling the truth.

Dorothy and Co turn and see Morag’s legs.

Dorothy (gasps) Oh, my!

Skeeter There are no such things as witches.

Glinda Oh yes, there is. And I should know because I am one.

Aunt Em I’m sorry I called you an overgrown Barbie! Please don’t turn me into something ugly!

Skeeter Like anybody would notice.

Dorothy We didn’t mean to drop a house on your friend, honest.

Glinda Morag wasn’t my friend. She was my sworn enemy. I’m Glinda, the Good Witch of the North. And the Munchkins are happy because you’ve freed them from Morag.

Skeeter What are, Munchkins?

Glinda (indicating Munchkins) These are Munchkins and this is Munchkinland. You are all now national heroes, and they would like to thank you.

Three Munchkins step forward. Munchkin 3 holds a bouquet of flowers.

Munchkin 1 (sings) We thank you very sweetly, for doing it so neatly.

Munchkin 2 (sings) You’ve killed her so completely.

Munchkin 3 (sings) That we thank you very sweetly. (hands Dorothy a bouquet of flowers)

Glinda Let the joyous news be spread, the wicked old witch is dead.

Munchkins Music cue 4: Munchkins.

Ding-dong, the witch is dead.

Which old witch?

The wicked witch!

Ding-dong, the wicked witch is dead.

Wake up, you sleepy head,

Rub your eyes, get out of bed.

Wake up, the wicked witch is dead! After song ends…

Enter Mayor, Coroner and a Barrister clutching a legal document.

Mayor As Mayor of Munchkin City. I welcome you most regally and would like to thank you for ridding the wonderful Land of Oz, of the evil witch Morag.

Barrister But we must verify it legally, to establish that she is absolutely…

Coroner…Positively…

Mayor…Physically…

Barrister…Undeniably…

Coroner…Reliably…

All Three…Dead!

Coroner crosses goes and quickly examines the remains of Morag.

Coroner (unrolls a scroll and sings) In my capacity as coroner.I have thoroughly examined her.And she’s not only merely dead.She’s really most sincerely dead.

Three little Ballerinas wobble forward on points.

Ballerinas (sing) We represent the Lullaby League. The Lullaby League. The Lullaby League. And in the name of the Lullaby League. We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.

Ballerinas move back to their starting point.

Three little Toughs come forward. One of them holds a large lollipop.

Toughs (sing) We represent the Lollipop Guild. The Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild. And in the name of the Lollipop Guild. We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland. (the lollipop is presented to Dorothy)

Dorothy Why thank you.

SFX: Pyro.

Enter Grotbag (SL) The Munchkins draw back in alarm murmuring. The Witch! The Witch! Grotbag snarls and clears a circle around her with her broomstick.

Skeeter (to Glinda) I thought you said the bad witch was dead.

Glinda This is Morag’s sister, Grotbag. The Wicked Witch of the West. And she’s much worse than Morag.

Grotbag (pointing at Glinda) Where is my sister? (to Aunt Em) Have you seen her?

Aunt Em I don’t know. What does she look like?

Grotbag She’s tall and beautiful with long red hair, and is very…

Skeeter…Flat.

Grotbag How dare you! My sister isn’t fat!

Skeeter I said flat, not fat.

Grotbag Flat! What are you talking about?

Glinda (pointing to the house) See for yourself.

Grotbag (looks) All right. What smart Alec turned her into a house?

Aunt Em She hasn’t been turned into a house. She’s under it.

Grotbag Under the house? (sees the legs) Aaaah! My poor sister! Who did this?

Dorothy It’s my fault the house dropped on her, and I’m truly sorry.

Grotbag How could anybody be so clumsy? (checks Morag’s feet) Her ruby slippers are gone! (to Glinda) Where are they? What have you done with them?

Glinda Step forward, Dorothy.

Dorothy steps forward and notices the ruby slippers.

Dorothy Gosh! How did they get there?

Glinda (knowingly) It’s a mystery all right.

Grotbag Give me back those slippers! They’re of no use to you. Give them back I say!

Dorothy Yes, of course. (goes to remove the ruby slippers)

Glinda No Dorothy, keep them on. Their magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn’t want them so badly.

Grotbag Stay out of this Glinda, or I’ll fix you too!

Glinda Fiddle-faddle! You have no power against me. Now be gone, before somebody drops a house on you.

Grotbag Very well, I’ll bide my time. (to Dorothy) Mark my words, my fine young lady. I’ll get those ruby slippers.

SFX: Dog barks.

Grotbag And your little dog, too! (exits SL)

Glinda I’m afraid you’ve made a bad enemy in Grotbag. The sooner you leave Oz, the better.

Dorothy I’d give anything to be back home in Kansas, believe me.

Aunt Em Me too. This place is weirder than Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

Skeeter Do you know how we can get back home, Mrs Fairy?

Glinda I’m afraid not. Only the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz can do that.

Dorothy The Wizard of Oz? Is he good or bad?

Glinda Oh, very good. And very mysterious. He lives in the Emerald City, the capital of Oz.

Skeeter I thought the capital of Australia was Canberra.

Glinda Not that Oz. You must go to the Emerald City and ask for his help.

Dorothy How do we get the Emerald City?

Glinda Just follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Munchkins Follow the yellow brick road!

Aunt Em Where exactly is the yellow brick road?

Glinda points her wand at Dorothy’s feet and the Munchkins peel away the turf from around her to reveal the Yellow Brick Road. Music cue 5: Munchkins.

Munchkins Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the Yellow Brick Road.

We’re off to see the Wizard,

The wonderful Wizard of Oz.

We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was,

If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was.

The Wizard of Oz is one, becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz,

Becoz of the wonderful things he does.

We’re off to see the Wizard,The wonderful Wizard of Oz.

As song nears the end…Exit Munchkins dancing off (SR) followed by Glinda.

Exit Dorothy and Co dancing off down the Yellow Brick Road (SR)

Music cue 6: Enter Grotbag (SL)

Grotbag There is nothing so odious as optimism. But in this instance, it is totally misplaced. (shouts) Cornelius!

Enter Cornelius at a run (SR)

Cornelius You called, mistress?

Grotbag Obviously. Why would you be here otherwise? I want you to do something for me.Cornelius(grimacing) It’s not cleaning that green gunk from between your toes again, is it?

Grotbag No, that’s later.

Cornelius Then what?

Grotbag I have a little spying job for you

Cornelius Ooooh! I’ve always fancied being a spy, just like James Bond.

Grotbag In your case, it’s more like Brooke Bond.

Cornelius What sort of spying job is it, mistress?

Grotbag I want you to follow Dorothy and her friends and tell me what they’re up too.

Cornelius You mean, the pretty girl in the checked dress, who left with some others just now?

Grotbag Yes, and she’s not pretty.

CorneliusI think she’s very pretty. (to audience) Don’t you think Dorothy’s pretty? See? They think she’s pretty.

Grotbag I haven’t called you here to discuss the merits of some spotty-faced teenager! Just follow them and keep me informed! Or else! (exits SL)

Cornelius I hate working for Witch Grotbag. But I must obey her, or else she’ll turn me into a winged monkey like the rest of my people. (elicit sympathy) It’s sadder than that. I hate doing bad deeds, but I don’t have any choice. So please don’t boo me, okay? I suppose I’d better go and carry out my spying duties. (exits SR)

Lights dim to blackout – cloth/tabs in (during blackout a T-Piece, a picket fence and tall maize plants are brought on to (CS) The T-piece is set up in front of the maize. Enter Scarecrow, who takes up position on the T-piece) – lights up.