The Grinch The Panto

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Description

Synopsis:

The Grinch has been banished from the town of Whoville, but he eventually returns to wreak his revenge. Armed with the Harry Potter Big Book Of Magic Spells and masquerading as Santa Claus, he sets out to cause mayhem and ruin Christmas. Santa enlists the Snow Queen’s help, to save Christmas. However, the Grinch is finally won over by the wide-eyed innocence of a kind young girl, and a little help from the Spirit of Christmas. A parody of the famous character created by Dr Seuss, woven into a traditional British-style pantomime.

Roles:

8 principals plus several smaller roles, some cameo roles and a chorus.

Runtime:

All of our scripts have a runtime of under 2hrs (not including any interval) But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.

Music:

All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:

Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample

Characters

The Grinch
Annie Good
Nora Good
Colin
Mayor
Pinchit
Widget
Santa

Chorus/Minor roles

Spirit Of Christmas
Snow Queen
Polly
Grimble
Pizza Deliverer
Elves; Who’s; Bats; Imps; Chuckleleers; etc.

Scene One

The Town Of Whoville

Music cue 2: Chorus. After song ends…

Enter Annie SR)

ANNIE: Good morning everyone!

CHORUS: Good morning Annie!

ANNIE: Are you all looking forward to Christmas day?

CHORUS: Yes Annie!

ANNIE: And have you all you made out your present lists for Santa?

CHORUS: Yes Annie!

ANNIE: Well, I hope you all get what you’ve asked for.

Music cue 3: Enter Nora (SL) with a shopping bag full of presents.

ANNIE: Hello, Aunt Nora. Have you been out Christmas shopping?

NORA: Yes, Annie. And I’ve bought some presents for your Aunt Flo’s kids.

ANNIE: What did you get them?

NORA: Electric hair clippers, a cordless drill, and a home waxing kit.

ANNIE: You can’t give those things to little children!

NORA: Why not? I’m sure the little dears will find some use for them.

ANNIE: That’s what I’m afraid of. Luckily, they can rely on Santa, for some sensible gifts.

NORA: Santa!? (laughs) Don’t make me laugh, Annie.

ANNIE: Don’t you believe in Santa, Aunt Nora?

NORA: Is snow, white? Santa is just a filament of people’s imagination.

ANNIE: I bet everybody here…(indicates audience)…believes in Santa.

NORA: I bet they don’t.

ANNIE: Let’s find out then. (to audience) On the count to three, I want everybody who believes in Santa, to shout Santa, as loud as you can.

NORA: And those who don’t believe in Santa just shout, Christmas crackers!

ANNIE: Ready? After three. One…two…three! (response)

NORA: I won!

ANNIE: No you didn’t, Nora. There were far more shouts for Santa.

NORA: Give over. Most of them are crackers.

Enter Mayor (SL)

MAYOR: Good morning ladies, and a merry Christmas to you both!

ANNIE: Merry Christmas, Mr Mayor.

NORA: Hi Cecil. (toying with Mayor’s chain) If I pulled your chain, would you flush?

MAYOR: (slaps her hand away) Stop playing with my regalia!

NORA: I’ve never heard it called that before.

MAYOR: (produces a letter and hands it to Nora) This is for you.

NORA: (excited) Is it a special marriage licence?

MAYOR: No, it’s an exclusion order.

NORA: You mean, it excludes other women from bothering you?

MAYOR: No – just you.

NORA: Don’t you find me strangely attractive, Cecil?

MAYOR: No! I find you strange and unattractive!

NORA: But I have everything a man could ever want.

MAYOR: You mean, a hairy chest, bulging biceps and a thick moustache?

NORA: I like a man with a sense of humour.

MAYOR: And I like a woman with a sense of shape.

NORA: That’s all right then. Because I have the perfect shape.

MAYOR: For a blancmange perhaps.

NORA: You’re such a joker. You remind me of that handsome actor, Leonardo Da Vinci.

ANNIE: You mean, Leonardo De Caprio?

NORA: I thought he was a painter.

MAYOR: And you remind me of a box of chocolates.

NORA: Is that because I’m sweet and tasty?

MAYOR: No, it’s because by the time I get to the bottom, I feel sick.

NORA: I never eat chocolate. (posing) I like to watch my figure.

MAYOR: It must be like watching a horror movie unfolding.

NORA: Don’t be cruel Cecil, or I might go off you.

MAYOR: (pleads) When!?

NORA: (holds mistletoe over Mayor) Would you like to kiss me under the mistletoe?

MAYOR: I wouldn’t kiss you under general anaesthetic.

NORA: Either way, you’d discover I’m a knockout. (coughs roughly)

ANNIE: That’s a nasty cough, Nora.

NORA: I always seem to get a sore throat at Christmas, Annie.

ANNIE: Have you seen a doctor about it?

NORA: Yes, I have.

ANNIE: And what did they say?

NORA: They said I was suffering from Tinsleitis. (laughs to audience) Tinsleitis? Oh, please yourselves.

ANNIE: Have you posted your letter to Santa yet, Mr Mayor?

MAYOR: Yes Annie. I sent it off to the North Pole last week.

NORA: If you ask me, you both want your heads testing.

ANNIE: Aunt Nora doesn’t believe in Santa.

MAYOR: Then perhaps this will convince her. (takes out a letter and reads) To all Whovillers old a young. I’ve looked at my list and checked it twice, and I promise to deliver all the presents you’ve asked for this year. Yours truly, Santa. Ho-ho-ho! P.S. I love mince pies and the reindeer love carrots. There you are Nora, proof positive that Santa really does exist.

NORA: Well, he won’t be coming down my chimney.

ANNIE: What makes you so sure, Nora?

NORA: I live in a flat.

MAYOR: Santa has a magic key that will open any door.

NORA: So, do I. And it’s called a gold credit card. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some serious shopping to do.

ANNIE: Christmas isn’t all about shopping, Nora.

NORA: You could’ve fooled me. (produces a gold credit card) Come on Annie, let’s go melt some plastic.

Exit Nora and Annie (SR)

MAYOR: (to audience) Nora would probably melt if she stood too close to a radiator. She’s more plastic than Barbie. Bye folks. (exits SL)

Enter Colin (SR)

COLIN: Hiya Boys and girls! My name’s Colin Chuckle and I’m Whoville’s Cheermeister! And it’s my job to see that Santa’s visit goes without a hitch. I make sure all the chimneys are swept clean, and that every child has a stocking to hang up. I must also ensure that everybody enjoys themselves. So, if I see anybody looking a bit glum I send in the Chuckleleers to cheer them up. Some of you look as though you need cheering up already. (calls) Chuckleleers!

Music cue 4: Enter Chuckleleers into the hall. They run around the audience, tickling them with feather dusters before exiting.

COLIN: That’s cheered them up. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great Christmas this year. The only thing that could spoil it, is if the Grinch turned up again. He’s such a misery-guts, he makes Scrooge look like Santa by comparison. (lights dim) Music cue 5: Hello! It looks like something nasty’s brewing.

Enter Grinch (SL)

COLIN: I was right. I’d better leave, quick. (turns to leave)

GRINCH: (points at him) Freeze!

COLIN: (rooted to the spot) Help! I can’t move my legs!

GRINCH: Ha-ha-ha! (dancing with delight) It worked! It worked!

COLIN: You’re in big trouble when the Mayor finds out you’re back in town, Mr Grinch.

GRINCH: That’s what I like about Whoville. The warm welcome I always receive.

COLIN: The Mayor banished you from Whoville for good.

GRINCH: Yes, and I intend to make Whoville regret that day. Which should be easy, now that I’ve mastered, Harry Potter’s Bumper Book Of Spells.

COLIN: What are you going to do to me?

GRINCH: I’m going to split you in two.

COLIN: Oh no, please! I’m too young to die!

GRINCH: Stop blubbing, it won’t hurt a bit.

COLIN: That’s easy for you to say.

GRINCH: Any last words before I divide you in half?

COLIN: Yes. (yells) Heeeelp!

GRINCH: Good and evil side by side,Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.My revenge on Whoville begins with you,It’s time for one, to become two! (casts a spell)

SFX: Pyro flash.

Snap blackout.

Enter Pinchit in blackout, he takes up position standing back to back with Colin – see properties for alternative entrance for Pinchit – lights back up.

COLIN: (realises he can move again and checks himself over) Hah! You missed me!

PINCHIT: Free at last!

COLIN: (turns) Aaaah! Who are you?

GRINCH: I’m your alto-ego.

COLIN: What are you talking about?

PINCHIT: I’m your bad side.

COLIN: I don’t have a bad side. (poses) I’ve always been very photogenic.

GRINCH: Everybody has a bad side, and I’ve just released yours as a separate person.

COLIN: So, that’s what you meant by splitting me in two?

GRNICH: What else?

COLIN: I hope this doesn’t mean I’ll have to pay double council tax.

PINCHIT: I won’t tell if you don’t.

COLIN: Why have you released my bad side anyway?

GRINCH: Every evil genius needs a sidekick. It’s practically compulsory.

PINCHIT: (to Colin) I’ve always been held back by your stupid conscience. But now, I’m free to do as I please!

GRINCH: Come Pinchit, we have lots of evil, nasty not-niceness work to do.

PINCHIT: Yes master.

Exit Grinch and Pinchit (SR)

COLIN: Thank goodness they’ve gone. If the Grinch wants my bad side, he’s welcome to it. I never found much use for it anyhow. I’d better tell the Mayor what’s happened, right away! (exits at a run SL)

Enter Spirit (SR)

SPIRIT: The Grinch is back and with magic power,

This will make my job much harder.

Whoville’s Christmas is in danger right now,

I must find a way to save it, somehow. (exits SR)

Enter Children (SL) Music cue 6: Children. After song ends…

Enter Colin (SR)

CHILDREN: Hiya Colin!

COLIN: Hi kids!

CHILD 1: We’re off to play knock and run. Are you joining us?

COLIN: (horrified) Certainly not!

CHILD 2: Why not?

COLIN: Because it’s not very nice, that’s why.

CHILD 3: It was your idea Colin!

COLIN: I don’t think so.

CHILD 1: You also suggested throwing snowballs at the Mayor’s windows.

COLIN: No way Jose! I would never upset a council official.

CHILD 2: What’s come over you Colin? You used to be the biggest prankster in Whoville.

COLIN: You must have me confused with somebody else.

CHILD 3: Let’s go guys. It seems Colin the prankster, has turned into Colin the bore.

Exit Children (SL)

COLIN: (to audience) I can’t believe how naughty the kids of today are.

Enter Children (SL) with arms full of snowballs.

CHILDREN: Oh, Colin!

COLIN: (turns) Yes?

CHILDREN: Merry Christmas! (pelt Colin and audience with snowballs before exiting)

COLIN: The cheeky monkeys! If I wasn’t such a nice person, I’d report them to the Pleasant Police. (starts picking up any loose snowballs)

Enter Nora and Annie (SR)

ANNIE: Hello Colin!

COLIN: (subdued) Hello you two.

NORA: What’s the matter Colin? For a Cheermeister, you don’t look too cheerful.

COLIN: That’s because the Grinch is back in town.

NORA: I thought he was banned from Whoville.

COLIN: He was. But he’s returned and he’s worse than ever.

ANNIE: That doesn’t bode well for Christmas.

NORA: Don’t worry Annie, the Pleasant Police will soon sort out him out.

COLIN: That won’t be easy, now that he’s mastered Harry Potter’s Bumper Book Of Spells.

ANNIE: Harry Potter’s Bumper Book Of Spells?

COLIN: Yes. He used one of its spells to split me in two.

NORA: Have you been overdoing it with the sherry trifle again, Colin?

COLIN: No, I haven’t! He froze me and then used a spell to separate me from my bad side.

ANNIE: I didn’t know you had a bad side, Colin

COLIN: Neither did I until it was standing next to me.

NORA: How did it make you feel?

COLIN: I was beside myself. (to audience) Do try and keep up.

Enter Mayor (SR)

MAYOR: Hello Colin! How’s the Christmas cheermeistering going?

COLIN: I have some terrible news, Mr Mayor!

MAYOR: You’re not having trouble making people happy, are you Colin?

COLIN: It’s worse than that.

MAYOR: What could be worse than not making people happy at Christmas?

COLIN: The Grinch has returned to Whoville.

MAYOR: What!? The nerve of him! (rants) I’ll have him locked in the stocks and humiliated, by having everybody throw rotten fruit at him!

ANNIE: Isn’t that how he turned bad in the first place, because of being humiliated?

NORA: It’s hardly our fault he can’t take a joke, Annie.

COLIN: He also has magic powers now, and he’s going to use them to get revenge on Whoville.

MAYOR: The Grinch has magic powers? I don’t believe it.

COLIN: But it’s true! He used them to turn me into two people!

MAYOR: Is this your way of trying to get double pay for working Christmas Eve, Colin?

COLIN: No, Mr Mayor. He really did split me in half.

NORA: My late husband was split in half.

COLIN: By magic?

NORA: No, by an accident at the sawmill.

ANNIE: Do you still miss him, Aunt Nora?

NORA: No, Annie. The man had a nasty streak. He once bought me an electric chair for Christmas, and then complained because I wouldn’t plug it in.

Music cue 7: Enter Grinch and Pinchit (SL)

GRINCH: (sneers) Mr Mayor, how very un-nice to see you again.

MAYOR: What are you doing back in Whoville you green meanie?

GRINCH: I’ve returned to get revenge on all you, goody-two-shoes, Whovillers.

ANNIE: (pointing to Pinchit) And who’s he?

COLIN: He’s my bad side I told you about earlier.

MAYOR: I didn’t know you had it in you, Colin.

COLIN: I don’t anymore.

PINCHIT: Everybody has someone like me inside.

MAYOR: And inside, is where you and the Grinch are going. Fetch the Pleasant Police, Colin!

PINCHIT: (laughs) The Pleasant Police? Are they for real?

NORA: Yes, and they’re real tough.

MAYOR: They root out badness, before it contaminates the good people of Whoville.

COLIN: I’m on my way Mr Mayor. (turns to leave)

GRINCH: (points at him) Freeze!

COLIN: (is rooted to the spot) Oh, no! I’m going to become triplets!

MAYOR: Release Colin immediately!

GRINCH: (points at Mayor) Zip it you old fool!

MAYOR: (mouth is clamped shut) Mmmmm!

ANNIE: He’s rendered the Mayor speechless!

NORA: He never was much good at speeches.

GRINCH: I’ll steal the smile from every face,

And bring sadness and woe in its place.

With my book of spells, it should be a cinch,

To make them cower before, The Grinch!

NORA: You won’t get away with this, snot face.

GRINCH: Oh yes I will, grot face! (laughs) Come Pinchit!

Exit Grinch and Pinchit (SL) and Colin is instantly unfrozen.

COLIN: I can move again!

MAYOR: Mmmmm!

ANNIE: The Mayor still can’t speak.

COLIN: This is terrible!

NORA: Oh, I don’t know though. It might have its advantages. (to Mayor) Now that I can get a word in edgeways Cecil, how’s about you and me getting married?

MAYOR: (shaking his head frantically) Mmmmm!

NORA: I’ll take that as a yes. (excited) Quick Annie, fetch the vicar!

MAYOR: (suddenly free from the spell) Noooo!

COLIN: You can talk again, Mr Mayor!

MAYOR: Yes, thank goodness.

ANNIE: Shall I cancel the vicar?

MAYOR: Yes!

NORA: You’re only postponing the inevitable, Cecil.

COLIN: What do you intend doing about the Grinch, Mr Mayor?

MAYOR: I intend to act immediately!

NORA: You take care of the Grinch and leave the acting to us.

MAYOR: I’ll call a council meeting to decide on a plan of action.

NORA: That could take until next Christmas, knowing our council.

MAYOR: The Grinch must be stopped from pursuing his nasty plans.

ANNIE: Why don’t we try being nice to him, and then he might be nice back?

COLIN: You’re not serious Annie?

ANNIE: Maybe he only turned bad because he thought nobody cared for him.

MAYOR: He was born bad, Annie.

NORA: Well said Cecil.

Enter Children (SR) crying.

ANNIE: What’s the matter, kids?

CHILD 1: Our sledges have all been smashed.

NORA: (elicit audience sympathy) Aaaah!

CHILD 2: And our snowmen flattened.

NORA: Aaaah!

CHILD 3: Plus, the town’s Christmas tree’s been burnt down.

ANNIE: Who could have committed such wicked deeds?

CHILD 1: It was Santa!

COLIN: Santa would never do such mean things.

ANNIE: What makes you think it was Santa, children?

CHILD 2: Because he was dressed in a red and white suit and kept shouting, Merry Christmas Whoville, ho-ho-ho!

MAYOR: That sounds like Santa, all right.

NORA: (suspicious) Hold on a minute. What colour was Santa’s skin, kids?

CHILD 3: Green!

ALL: (exclaim) The Grinch!

MAYOR: He plans to ruin Christmas and blame it all on Santa!

NORA: And he’s using Colin’s bad side to help him.

MAYOR: We must run him out of town immediately and reunite Colin with his other half.

COLIN: It’s too late for that.

ANNIE: How come?

COLIN: She moved to Australia after the divorce.

MAYOR: I meant your bad half, Colin.

COLIN: So did I.

MAYOR: We’d better find Santa and tell him what’s happened.

COLIN: But Santa lives at the North Pole and the buses don’t go that far.

MAYOR: Santa isn’t at the North Pole right now.

COLIN: Then where is he?

MAYOR: He’s at…(local store)…promoting…(current toy craze)

NORA: And they say Christmas isn’t commercialised?

ANNIE: We’d better get down there right away.

MAYOR: Follow me everybody! (turns to leave)

COLIN: Wait Mr Mayor!

MAYOR: (stops) What is it now Colin?

COLIN: The audience are looking a bit glum.

NORA: Be fair, there hasn’t been much to laugh at so far.

ANNIE: Maybe we should try cheering them up.

NORA: Don’t look at me. I’ve already used up my funniest lines.

COLIN: Leave it to me. (calls) Chuckleleers! Music cue 8:

Enter Chuckleleers into the hall – they behave as before and then exit.

MAJOR: That seems to have done the trick, now let’s go.

Exit all (SL)

Enter Spirit (SR)

SPIRIT: The Who’s set off with a determined will,

To thwart the Grinch’s plans, but still.

With Harry Potter’s book they must compete,

And its magic spells they’ll have to beat. (exits SR)