The Grinch The Panto

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Description

Synopsis:

A parody of the famous character created by Dr Seuss, woven into a traditional British-style pantomime. The Grinch one has been banished from town for his many misdemeanours, but several years later, and armed with the Harry Potter Big Book Of Magic Spells, he returns to wreak his revenge and get Santa the blame. When the Spirit of Christmas can do no more, Santa enlists the Snow Queen’s help, to save Christmas. However, the Grinch is finally won over, by the kindness and wide-eyed innocence of a young girl.

Roles:

9 principals plus 2 smaller roles, some cameo roles and a chorus.

Runtime:

All of our scripts have a runtime of approx 120 minutes, assuming that you use the full number of suggested musical numbers and not including any interval. But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit.

Music:

All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:

Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample

Characters

The Grinch
Annie Good
Nora Good
Colin
Mayor
Pinchit
Widget
Spirit Of Christmas
Santa

Chorus/Minor roles

Snow Queen
Grimble
Polly Watt
Elves
Whovillers
Bats
Imps
Pizza Delivery Rider
Chuckleleers

Scene One

Whoville

Music cue 2: Chorus/Whovillers. After song ends…

Enter Annie SR)

Annie (cheery) Good morning everyone!

Chorus Good morning Annie!

Annie Are you all looking forward to Christmas day?

Chorus Yes Annie!

Annie And have you all you made out your present lists for Santa?

Chorus Yes Annie!

Annie Well, I hope you all get what you’ve asked for.

Enter Nora (SL) with a shopping bag full of presents.

Nora Hello, Annie!

Annie Hello, Aunt Nora. Have you been out Christmas shopping?

Nora Yes, Annie. I’ve just bought some presents for your Aunt Flo’s kids.

Annie What did you get them?

Nora Electric hair clippers, a cordless drill and a home waxing kit.

Annie You can’t give those things to little kids, auntie!

Nora Why not? I’m sure the little dears will find some use for them.

Annie That’s what I’m afraid of. It’s lucky they can rely on Santa, for some sensible gifts.

Nora Santa!? (laughs) Don’t make me laugh, Annie.

Annie Don’t you believe in Santa, Aunt Nora?

Nora Is snow, white? Santa is just a filament of people’s imagination.

Annie I bet everybody here…(indicates audience)…believes in Santa.

Nora I’ll bet you they don’t.

Annie Let’s find out, shall we? (to audience) On the count to three, I want everybody who believes in Santa, to shout Santa, as loud as you can. Will you do that?

Nora And those who don’t believe in Santa just shout, Christmas crackers!

Annie Ready? After three. One…two…three! (response)

Nora I won.

Annie No, you didn’t, Nora. There were far more shouts for Santa.

Nora Give over. Most of them are crackers.

Enter Mayor (SL)

Mayor Good morning ladies! And a merry Christmas to you both!

Annie Merry Christmas, Mr Mayor.

Nora Hello Cecil. (toys with his Mayor’s chain) If I pulled your chain, would you flush?

Mayor (slaps her hand away) Stop playing with my regalia!

Nora I’ve never heard it called that before.

Mayor (produces a letter and hands it to Nora) This is for you.

Nora (excited) Is it a special marriage licence?

Mayor No, it’s an exclusion order.

Nora You mean, it excludes other women from bothering you?

Mayor No. Just you.

Nora Don’t you find me strangely attractive, Cecil?

Mayor No. I find you strange and unattractive.

Nora But I have everything a man could ever want.

Mayor You mean, a hairy chest, bulging biceps and a thick moustache?

Nora I like a man with a sense of humour.

Mayor And I like a woman with a sense of shape.

Nora That’s all right then. Because I have the perfect shape.

Mayor For a blancmange, perhaps.

Nora It’s a good job I know you’re only joking. You remind me of that handsome actor, Leonardo Da Vinci.

Annie You mean, Leonardo De Caprio?

Nora I thought he was a painter.

Mayor And you remind me of a box of chocolates, Nora.

Nora Is that because I’m sweet and tasty?

Mayor No. It’s because by the time I get to the bottom, I feel sick.

Nora I never eat chocolate. (posing) I like to watch my figure.

Mayor It must be like watching a horror movie unfolding.

Nora Don’t be mean, Cecil, or I might go off you.

Mayor (pleads) When!?

Nora starts coughing roughly.

Annie That’s a nasty cough, Nora?

Nora I always seem to get a sore throat at Christmas, Annie.

Annie Have you seen the doctor about it?

Nora Yes, I have.

Annie And what did they say?

Nora They said I was suffering from Tinsleitis. (laughs to audience) Tinsleitis? Oh, please yourselves. (produces a twig of mistletoe and holds it above the Mayor) Would you like to kiss me under the mistletoe, Cecil?

Mayor I wouldn’t kiss you under general anaesthetic.

Nora Either way, you’d discover I’m a knockout.

Annie Have you posted your letter to Santa yet, Mr Mayor?

Mayor Yes Annie. I sent it off to the North Pole last week.

Nora You both want your heads testing if you ask me.

Annie Aunt Nora doesn’t believe in Santa.

Mayor Then maybe this will convince her. (takes out a letter and reads) To all Whovillers old a young. I’ve looked at my list and checked it twice, and I promise I’ll be delivering all the presents you’ve asked for this year. Yours truly, Santa. Ho-ho-ho! P.S. I love mince pies and the reindeer love carrots. There you are Nora, proof positive that Santa really does exist.

Nora Well, he won’t be coming down my chimney.

Annie What makes you so sure, Nora?

Nora I live in a flat.

Mayor Santa has a magic key that will open any door.

Nora So, do I. And it’s called a gold credit card. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some serious shopping to do.

Annie Christmas isn’t all about shopping, Nora.

Nora You could’ve fooled me. (Music cue 3: Nora. After song ends…She takes out a gold credit card) Come on, Annie. Let’s go and melt some plastic.

Exit Nora and Annie (SR)

Mayor (to audience) She’d probably melt if she stood too close to a radiator. She’s got more plastic than Barbie. (exits SL)

Enter Colin (SR)

Colin Hiya kids! Are you all having a good time? And have you all made your lists out for Santa? (if after Christmas, say – Whoville is in a different time-zone, so we haven’t had Christmas yet) My name’s Colin Chuckle, and I’m Whoville’s Cheermeister. And it’s my job to see that Santa’s visit goes without a hitch. I must see that all the chimneys are swept clean, and that every child has a stocking to hang up. I must also ensure that you’re all enjoying yourselves. So, if I see anybody looking a bit glum. I’ll send in the Chuckleleers to cheer them up. (looks out) Some of you look as though you need cheering up already. (calls) Chuckleleers! Music cue 4:

Enter Chuckleleers into the hall. They run around the audience, tickling them with feather dusters before exiting.

Colin That’s cheered them up. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great Christmas this year. The only thing that could spoil it, is if the Grinch turned up again. He’s such a misery-guts, he makes Scrooge look like Santa by comparison. (lights dim) Music cue 5: Hello! It looks like something nasty’s brewing.

Enter Grinch (SL)

Colin I was right. I’d better leave, quick. (turns to leave)

Grinch (points at him) Freeze!

Colin (rooted to the spot) Help! I can’t move my legs!

Grinch Ha-ha-ha! (dancing about with delight) It worked! It worked!

Colin You’re in big trouble when the Mayor finds out you’re back in town, Mr Grinch.

Grinch That’s what I like about Whoville. The warm welcome I always receive.

Colin The Mayor banished you from Whoville for good.

Grinch Yes, and I intend to make Whoville regret the day they tried getting rid of me. Which should be a cinch, now that I’ve mastered Harry Potter’s Bumper Book Of Spells.

Colin What are you going to do to me?

Grinch I’m going to split you in two for starters.

Colin (pleads) Oh no, please! I’m too young to die!

Grinch Stop blubbing, it won’t hurt a bit.

Colin That’s easy for you to say.

Grinch Any last words before I divide you in half?

Colin Yes. (yells) Heeeelp!

Grinch Good and evil side by side,

Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

My revenge on Whoville begins with you,

It’s time for one, to become two! (casts a spell)

SFX: Pyro flash.

Snap blackout.

Enter Pinchit in blackout, he takes up position standing back to back with Colin – see properties for alternative entrance for Pinchit – Lights back up.

Colin (realises he can move again and checks himself over) Hah! You missed me!

Pinchit Free at last!

Colin (turns – startled) Aaaah! Who’s he?

Grinch He is your alto-ego.

Colin What are you talking about?

Grinch He is your bad side.

Colin I don’t have a bad side. (poses) I’ve always been very photogenic.

Grinch Everybody has a bad side, and I’ve just released yours as a separate person.

Colin So, that’s what you meant by splitting me in two. I hope this doesn’t mean I’ll have to pay double council tax.

Pinchit I won’t tell if you don’t.

Colin Why have you released my bad side anyway?

Grinch Every evil genius needs a sidekick. It’s practically compulsory.

Pinchit I’ve always been held back Colin’s conscience. But now, I’m free to do as I please!

Grinch Come Pinchit. We have lots of evil, nasty not-niceness work to do.

Pinchit Yes master.

Exit Grinch and Pinchit (SR)

Colin Thank goodness they’ve gone. If the Grinch wants my bad side, he’s welcome to it. I never found much use for it anyhow. I’d better hurry and tell the Mayor what’s happened. Bye everybody! (exits at a run SL)

Enter Spirit (SR)

Spirit The Grinch is back and with magic power,

This will make my job much harder.

Whoville’s Christmas is in danger right now,

I must find a way to save it, somehow. (exits SR)

Enter Children (SL) Music cue 6: Children. After song ends…

Enter Colin (SR)

Children Hiya Colin!

Colin Hello kids!

Child 1 We’re off to play knock and run, Colin. Are you coming with us?

Colin (horrified) Certainly not!

Child 2 Why not?

Colin Because it’s not very nice, that’s why.

Child 3 But it was your idea, Colin.

Colin I don’t think so.

Child 1 You also suggested throwing snowballs at the Mayor’s windows.

Colin Not me. I would never upset a council official.

Child 2 What’s come over you Colin? You used to be the biggest prankster in Whoville.

Colin You must’ve got me confused with somebody else.

Child 3 Let’s go guys. It seems Colin the prankster, has turned into Colin Squarepants.

Exit Children (SL)

Colin (to audience) I can’t believe how naughty the kids of today are.

Enter Children (SL) with arms full of snowballs.

Children Oh, Colin!

Colin (turns) Yes?

Children Merry Christmas! (they pelt Colin and audience with snowballs before exiting)

Colin The cheeky monkeys! If I wasn’t such a nice person, I’d report them to the Pleasant Police. (starts picking up any loose snowballs)

Enter Nora and Annie (SR)

Annie Hiya Colin!

Colin (subdued) Oh, hello you two.

Nora What’s the matter Colin? For a Cheermeister, you’re not looking too cheerful.

Colin That’s because the Grinch is back in town.

Nora I thought he was banned from Whoville.

Colin He was. But he’s returned and he’s worse than ever.

Annie That doesn’t bode well for Christmas.

Nora Don’t worry, Annie. The Pleasant Police will soon sort out him out.

Colin That won’t be so easy, now that he’s mastered Harry Potter’s Bumper Book Of Spells.

Annie Harry Potter’s Bumper Book Of Spells?

Colin Yes. He used one of its spells to split me in two.

Nora Have you been overdoing it with the sherry trifle again, Colin?

Colin No, I haven’t! He froze me and then used a spell to separate me from my bad side.

Annie I didn’t know you had a bad side, Colin

Colin Neither did I until it was standing right beside me.

Nora How did that make you feel?

Colin I was beside myself. (to audience) Do try and keep up.

Enter Mayor (SR)

Mayor Hello Colin! How’s the Christmas cheermeistering going?

Colin I have some terrible news, Mr Mayor!

Mayor You’re not having trouble making people happy, are you Colin?

Colin It’s worse than that.

Mayor What could be worse than not making people happy at Christmas?

Colin The Grinch has returned to Whoville.

Mayor What!? The nerve of him! (rants) I’ll have him locked in the stocks and humiliated, by having people throw rotten fruit at him!

Annie Isn’t that how he turned bad in the first place? Through people humiliating him?

Nora It’s hardly our fault the green meanie can’t take a joke, Annie.

Colin He also has magic powers now and is going to use them to get revenge on Whoville.

Mayor The Grinch has magic powers? I don’t believe it.

Colin But it’s true! He used them to turn me into two people!

Mayor Is this your way of trying to get double pay for working Christmas Eve, Colin?

Colin No, Mr Mayor. He really did split me in half.

Nora My late husband was split in half.

Colin By magic?

Nora No, by an accident at the sawmill.

Annie (sympathetic) Do you still miss him, Aunt Nora?

Nora Not, really. The man had a nasty streak. It was in Asda as I recall. He once bought me a chair for Christmas and then complained, when I wouldn’t plug it in.

Mayor I can’t say that I blame him.

Music cue 7: Enter Grinch and Pinchit (SL)

Grinch (sneers) Mr Mayor, how very un-nice to see you again.

Mayor What are you doing back in Whoville?

Grinch I’ve returned to take my revenge on all you goody-goody, Whovillers.

Mayor (pointing to Pinchit) And who is he?

Colin He’s my bad side I told you about.

Mayor I didn’t know you had it in you, Colin.

Colin Well, I don’t anymore.

Pinchit Everybody has someone like me inside.

Mayor And inside, is where you and the Grinch are going. Colin! Fetch the Pleasant Police!

Pinchit (laughs) The Pleasant Police? Are they for real?

Mayor Yes. They root out badness, before it contaminates the good people of Whoville.

Colin I’m on my way Mr Mayor. (turns to leave)

Grinch (points at him) Freeze!

Colin (is rooted to the spot) Oh, no! I’m going to become triplets!

Mayor (to Grinch) Release him immediately!

Grinch (points at Mayor) Zip it you old fool!

Mayor (his mouth is clamped shut – tries to speak) Mmmmm!

Annie He’s rendered the Mayor speechless!

Nora He never was much good at speeches, Annie.

Grinch I’ll steal the smile from every face,

And bring sadness and woe in its place.

With my book of spells, it should be a cinch,

To make them cower before, The Grinch!

Nora You won’t get away with this, snot face.

Grinch Oh yes I will, grot face! (laughs) Come Pinchit!

Exit Grinch and Pinchit (SL) and Colin is instantly unfrozen.

Colin I can move again!

Mayor Mmmmm!

Annie But the Mayor still can’t speak.

Colin This is terrible!

Nora Oh, I don’t know though. It might have its advantages. (seductively to Mayor) Now that I can get a word in edgeways Cecil, how’s about you and me getting married?

Mayor (shaking his head frantically) Mmmmm!

Nora I’ll take that as a yes. (excited) Quick Annie, fetch the vicar!

Mayor (suddenly free from the spell) Noooo!

Colin You can talk again, Mr Mayor!

Mayor Yes, thank goodness.

Annie Shall I cancel the vicar?

Mayor Yes!

Nora For now, anyway.

Colin What are you going to do about the Grinch, Mr Mayor?

Mayor (firmly) Don’t worry, Colin. I intend to act immediately!

Nora Just take care of the Grinch and leave the acting to us.

Mayor I will call a council meeting to decide on a plan of action.

Nora That could take until next Christmas, knowing our council.

Mayor The Grinch must be stopped from pursuing his nasty plans.

Annie Why don’t we try being nice to him, and then maybe he might be nice back?

Colin You’re not serious Annie?

Annie Maybe he only turned bad because he believed nobody cared for him.

Mayor He was born bad, Annie.

Nora Well said Cecil.

Enter Children (SR) crying.

Annie Whatever’s the matter, kids?

Child 1 All our sledges have just been smashed.

Nora (elicit audience sympathy) Aaaah!

Child 2 And so have all our snowmen.

Nora Aaaah!

Child 3 And the town’s Christmas tree has been burnt down.

Annie Who could have committed such wicked deeds?

Child 1 It was Santa!

Colin I don’t Santa would ever do such mean things.

Annie What makes you think it was Santa, children?

Child 2 Because he was dressed in a red and white suit and kept shouting, Merry Christmas Whoville, ho-ho-ho!

Mayor That sounds like Santa, all right.

Nora (suspicious) Hold on a minute. What colour was Santa’s skin, kids?

Child 3 Green!

All (exclaim) The Grinch!

Mayor He plans to ruin Christmas and blame it all on Santa!

Nora And he’s using Colin’s bad side to help him.

Mayor We must run him out of town immediately and reunite Colin with his other half.

Colin It’s too late for that.

Annie How come?

Colin She emigrated to Australia after the divorce.

Mayor I meant your bad half, Colin.

Colin So did I.

Mayor We’d better find Santa and tell him what’s happened.

Colin But Santa lives at the North Pole and the buses don’t go that far.

Mayor Santa isn’t at the North Pole right now.

Colin Then, where is he?

Mayor He’s at…(local store)…promoting…(current toy craze)

Nora (to audience) And they say Christmas isn’t commercialised?

Annie We’d better get down there right away.

Mayor Follow me everybody! (turns to leave)

Colin Wait Mr Mayor!

Mayor (stops) What is it now Colin?

Colin Some of the audience are looking a bit glum again.

Nora Be fair, there hasn’t been much to laugh at so far.

Annie Maybe we should try cheering them up.

Nora Well, don’t look at me. I’ve already used up my funniest lines.

Colin Leave it to me. (calls) Chuckleleers! Music cue 8:

Enter Chuckleleers into hall, they behave as before and then exit.

Annie That seems to have done the trick.

Major Then let’s go.

Exit all (SL)

Enter Spirit (SR)

Spirit So off they went with determined will,

To thwart the Grinch’s plans, but still.

With Harry Potter they must compete,

And his magic spells they’d have to beat. (exits SR)