Puss In Boots



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Fairy Feline wishes to help a young man named Tom, claim his rightful inheritance. But first she must defeat her Nemesis the evil Demon Davina.

Whilst Tom has been away, his father has died and his two brothers have sold the family mill, much to the annoyance of everyone who relied on it for their daily flour. Including the King and Queen.

Tom returns home to discover that he has inherited the princely sum of one golden guinea and a cat. Little does Tom know, that this is no ordinary cat, but the means by which he can reclaim his true inheritance.

Tom meets and falls in love with Princess Pearl, but he must fend of Hyacinth Hollyhock who is trying to marry off her three daughters.

This panto is purrfect family fun for all the family.


12 principals and 4 smaller speaking roles for the Dame’s daughters. Plus several other minor speaking roles and an Ogre.


All of our scripts have a runtime of under 2hrs (not including any interval) But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.


All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.


Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample




Gormless The Ogre
Dancers; Villagers; Maids; Palace Guests; Goblins; etc.




Music cue 1: Chorus. After song ends…Chorus line up at the mill door.

Music cue 2: Enter the Royal party [SR]

MAJOR D: Make way for the Royal party!

Royal Party make their way through and stand in front of the mill door.

KING: Greetings loyal objects!

The Chorus are plainly unimpressed.

QUEEN: The commoners don’t seem pleased to see us, Major Domo.

MAJOR D: I’m afraid the royal family aren’t as popular as they once were, your majesty.

KING: [to Queen] I think it’s time for a spot of royal hand waving, dear.

QUEEN: That always goes down well with our subjects, doesn’t it?

King and Queen wave their hands about in the royal fashion.

CHORUS 1: [to royals] Would you mind shifting? We’re waiting for the mill to open!

MAJOR D: How dare you speak thus to royalty!

CHORUS 2: We’re not interested in royalty, mate.

CHORUS 3: We’re only interested in buying our daily flour.

PRINCESS: [sighs] Do hurry up father, this is all so tiresome.

KING: Please, Pearl! Not in front of the common folk!

CHORUS 4: Who are you calling common, mush? [nosily wipes nose on sleeve]

QUEEN: [grimaces] Gross!

KING: Make the announcement please, Major Domo.

MAJOR D: Yes, your majesty. [bangs mace] Hear ye! Hear ye! The Royal Palace is holding a garden party, tomorrow afternoon, and everyone is invited to attend!

Chorus cheer and exit [SL] talking animatedly as they go.

QUEEN: That seems to have perked them up somewhat.

MAJOR D: Your majesties subjects are a fickle lot. If they lose interest in royalty, you need only announce a royal event and their interest is re-kindled.

KING: It’s always worked for the Windsor’s.

PRINCESS: Can we go now? I’m bored.


PRINCESS: Yes, bored. B.O.R.E.D, bored! If I were a Prince, I’d be off, slaying dragons and rescuing damsels in distress. Being a Princess, is dead boring.

KING QUEEN: Oh no, it isn’t!

PRINCESS: Oh yes, it is!

QUEEN: I’ll bet the peasants don’t think it’s boring being a Princess.

PRINCESS: And I’ll bet they do.

KING: We’ll ask them, and if you’re wrong you must agree a forfeit.

PRINCESS: What kind of forfeit?

KING: You must find yourself someone suitable to marry within the week.

PRINCESS: You can’t be serious, father.

KING: Deadly serious Pearl. At least being married might stop you getting bored.

QUEEN: [dryly] I wouldn’t bet on it.

PRINCESS: Then the forfeit should work both ways.

KING: But we’re already married.

QUEEN: To each other as it happens.

PRINCESS: If I win the bet, then you must allow me to marry whoever I wish.

KING & QUEEN: It’s a deal!

KING: And Major Domo will adjudicate.

MAJOR D: Yes, your majesty. [to audience] On the count of three, everybody who thinks it’s brilliant being a Princess, shout brilliant! And everybody who thinks it’s boring being a Princess, shout boring! One…two…three! Their majesties, win.

PRINCESS: I think I’ve just been stitched up.

QUEEN: That’s settled then, you must marry a Prince or a nobleman within the week.

PRINCESS: You’re not seriously going to hold me to that silly deal, are you?

KING: A deal’s a deal, Pearl.

QUEEN: I’m famished! Let’s go and eat.

KING: Very well dear. Come along Pearl.

PRINCESS: I’m suddenly not hungry. You go ahead and I’ll wait here until you return.

QUEEN: We can’t leave you here alone!

PRINCESS: But there’s nobody around and I promise I won’t move.

KING: Very well then, we won’t be long.

QUEEN: Find us the nearest Gregg’s, Major Domo.

MAJOR D: Yes, your majesty.

Exit King, Queen [SR] led off by Major Domo.

PRINCESS: I can’t believe they expect me to find somebody to fall in love with and marry, within a week. It’s impossible! Music cue 3: Princess. After song ends…

Enter King, Queen and Major Domo [SR] The King is finishing off a pasty.

KING: That king-sized pasty was delicious.

QUEEN: As was their vegan sausage roll.

PRINCESS: Can we please go home now?

KING: Of course, dear. Lead on Major Domo.

Exit Royal Party [SR] led off by Major Domo.

Enter Poppy, Daisy and Rose [SL] they go up to the mill door.

POPPY: [sees a sign on the door that reads MILL CLOSED] The mill’s closed!

DAISY: The lazy millers must still be in bed.

ROSE: I’ll soon get them up. [knocks on door]

POPPY: It’s no use, they’re probably still fast asleep.

DAISY: Why don’t we ask this lot…[audience]…to help us wake them?

ROSE: [to audience] Will you help us wake the millers? On the count of three all shout, wakey-wakey! One…two…three! Wakey-wakey!

Enter Harry from the mill, scratching his head and yawning.

HARRY: Good morning girls, and what can I do for you?

POPPY: We’d like some flour please, Harry.

HARRY: I’m afraid we’re all out of flour.

DAISY: How come?

HARRY: A hyper-mill has just opened nearby, forcing us small millers out of business.

Enter Dick [USR] carrying a FOR SALE sign over his shoulder.

DICK: Hiya girls! Have you come to buy some flour for your mum?

ROSE: Yes Dick, but Harry says you haven’t got any.

DICK: It’s true I’m afraid. The new hyper-mill has cornered the market.

HARRY: We can’t get hold of corn, for love nor money.

POPPY: What about oats?

DICK: We haven’t had any oats in months, have we Harry?

HARRY: You speak for yourself, Dick.