SCENE ONE
GEPETTO’S TOYSHOP
Chorus of toys are onstage. Soldiers, ballerinas, teddy-bears, animals, etc. Pinocchio is in the final stages of construction and sits on a stool. Music cue 2: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus [SR]
Enter Bella [SR] sweeping the floor and singing.
BELLA: Hello, boys and girls! I’m Bella Donna. That’s Italian for, ‘Beautiful Woman’, which suits me perfectly, don’t you think? I’m housekeeper for Geppetto, the toymaker, and this is his toyshop. My late hubby used to work here, but he died after backing into a working lathe and giving himself a nasty turn. Mind you, he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box. He once ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon to see which came first. If brains were chocolate, his wouldn’t have filled a Smartie.
Enter Geppetto [SL] holding a small paint pot and brush.
GEPETTO: Good morning, Bella!
BELLA: Good morning, Geppetto.
GEPPETTO: I’m just adding the finishing touches to my special little boy puppet. [hums as he puts the finishing touches to Pinocchio’s face]
BELLA: [to audience] Geppetto loves making little boy puppets. He’d prefer the real thing, but I think he’s missed the boat there. I don’t have any children myself, but it wasn’t for lack of trying, I can tell you. [hoists bosom]
GEPPETTO: There, he’s all finished. What do you think, Bella?
BELLA: He’s very nice, Geppetto.
GEPPETTO: Look at his eyes, they seem almost alive!
BELLA: Do you have a name for him?
GEPPETTO: Not yet. What do you suggest?
BELLA: How about, Kevin?
GEPPETTO: No, Bella, this is a special little boy puppet, and he needs a special name, no offence to any Kevin’s in the audience.
BELLA: Why don’t you ask the boys and girls what to call him.
GEPPETTO: Good idea, Bella. Boys and girls, what should I call my little boy puppet?
BELLA: Pistachio?
GEPPETTO: Too nutty.
BELLA: Pecorino?
GEPPETTO: Too cheesy.
BELLA: Pinocchio? That’s a funny name.
GEPPETTO: I think that name’s perfect, Bella!
BELLA: Whatever. [begins sweeping]
GEPPETTO: Welcome little, Pinocchio! [bows with a flourish, drops his hat and goes to pick it up. Pinocchio suddenly comes alive and kicks him in the pants, sending him sprawling, then resumes a lifeless position] Ooof!
BELLA: [turns] Why are you lying on the floor, Geppetto?
GEPPETTO: [standing] Because you kicked me over, that’s why!
BELLA: I didn’t kick you over!
GEPPETTO: Oh, yes you did!
BELLA: Oh, no I didn’t! Did I, boys and girls? See!
GEPPETTO: Well, I can hardly kick my own backside, Bella! [turns away in a huff]
BELLA: You’ve obviously reached the Zimmer-frame stage. I’ll just pick your hat up. [bends to pick it up, and Pinocchio kicks her on the bottom, sending her sprawling] Ooof!
GEPPETTO: [turns] What happened to you, Bella?
BELLA: You kicked me over when I wasn’t looking!
GEPPETTO: I didn’t kick you!
BELLA: Oh, yes you did!
GEPPETTO: Oh, no I didn’t! Did I, boys and girls? See?
BELLA: Well, if you didn’t kick me and I didn’t kick you, then who did kick us?
GEPPETTO: Did you see who kicked us, boys and girls? [response] Pinocchio!
BELLA: Don’t talk daft, puppets can’t move! Well, not without strings, anyhow.
PINOCCHIO: [suddenly alive] I can!
GEPPETTO: He spoke, Bella!
BELLA: But that’s impossible!
PINOCCHIO: Why is it?
BELLA: Because you’re made of wood!
PINOCCHIO: The Blue Fairy made it possible.
GEPPETTO: Blue Fairy!?
PINOCCHIO: She knew how much you wanted your own little boy, and when you went to the forest to chop down a tree, she placed a magic spell on it. And that’s how I’m here.
BELLA: I wooden have be-leafed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes.
GEPPETTO: Can you walk, Pinocchio?
PINOCCHIO: Let me see. [stands and his legs wobble] Woooah!
BELLA: This, Blue Fairy, must’ve chosen a rubber tree.
Bella and Geppetto quickly support him.
GEPPETTO: Don’t worry, Pinoke, I’ll teach you to run and play just like a real little boy.
BELLA: And I’ll teach you how to dance. I was once on Strictly, you know.
GEPPETTO: She cleaned the floor after each show. [laughs]
They link arms and dance around the room. Music cue 3: After a bit, Geppetto and Bella drop out, exhausted.
PINOCCHIO: Why have you both stopped dancing?
GEPPETTO: We need a rest, Pinocchio, we’re not as young as we used to be.
BELLA: You speak for yourself.
PINOCCHIO: I want to dance, and if you won’t teach me, I’ll hold my breath until I turn blue and die, and then you’ll be sorry! [takes a deep breath and holds it]
GEPPETTO: Stop being silly, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio sways and seems about to fall.
SFX: Stage flash.
Enter Blue Fairy [SR]
BLUE FAIRY: [scolds] Pinocchio!
PINOCCHIO: [exhales noisily] Blue Fairy!
BELLA: Are you the person who made, Pinocchio?
BLUE FAIRY: Yes, and I’m tempted to turn him into firewood for being naughty.
PINOCCHIO: I didn’t mean to be naughty; I just wanted to carry on dancing! Please give me another chance, and I promise I’ll do better in future!
BLUE FAIRY: Very well, Pinocchio. Meet somebody who will help you. [calls] Jiminy!
Music cue 4: Enter Jiminy dancing/hopping on [SR]
JIMINY: Hiya, kids!
BLUE FAIRY: This is, Jiminy Cricket.
PINOCCHIO: [laughs] What a funny-looking little chap.
JIMINY: Look who’s talking. At least I’m not made of wood.
BLUE FAIRY: Jiminy will be your conscience and remind you to always behave properly.
PINOCCHIO: What’s a conscience?
BLUE FAIRY: It’s a little voice inside everyone that tells them right from wrong.
JIMINY: But as you’re made of wood, Pinocchio, you probably don’t have one.
BLUE FAIRY: [thinking] How would you like to become a real boy, Pinocchio?
PINOCCHIO: I’d like that more than anything, Blue Fairy!
BLUE FAIRY: Well, to achieve that, you must learn five things.
PINOCCHIO: But what if I forget them?
BLUE FAIRY: Then this rhyme will help you to remember.
My father dear, I will obey,
I’ll do my work before I play.
Go to school and learn my ABCs,
Never be selfish and always say, please.
And whilst the sun shines in the sky,
I will never, ever tell a lie.
Pinocchio pulls a face on the last one.
GEPPETTO: That last one might prove the hardest to keep.
BELLA: It’s as plain as the nose on his face.
BLUE FAIRY: That’s just given me an idea! Every time you tell a lie, Pinocchio, your nose will grow longer. [dings wand at Pinocchio Music cue 5:] So, make sure you always tell the truth.
PINOCCHIO: Oh, I will! [feels his nose]
