Pinocchio The Panto

Scene One

Geppetto’s Toyshop

Chorus of toy-soldiers, ballerinas, teddy-bears, animals, etc; are onstage. Pinocchio, in the final stages of construction, sits on a stool. Music cue 1: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus (SR)

Enter Geppetto (SL) holding a small oil-can – he hums as he oils each joint on Pinocchio’s arms and legs and manipulates them.

GEPPETTO: There, he’s finished. (calls) Momma! Come and look!

Enter Momma (SL) carrying a broom.

MOMMA: Not another little boy puppet.

GEPPETTO: Yes, Momma. Isn’t he the most beautiful little boy puppet you ever did see?

MOMMA: (examining Pinocchio) He’s very nice, Geppetto.

GEPPETTO: Just look at the eyes on him, they could almost be alive.

MOMMA: Which is more than we’ll be if we don’t earn enough to feed ourselves. Do you have a name for him?

GEPPETTO: Not yet momma.

MOMMA: What about, Kevin?

GEPPETTO: No Momma, this is a very special boy puppet and needs a very special name.

MOMMA: Then why don’t you ask the boys and girls what to call him?

GEPPETTO: (to audience) What should we call him, boys and girls?

MOMMA: (to audience) What? Pistachio!?

GEPPETTO: Too nutty.

MOMMA: What? Pecorino?

GEPPETTO: Too cheesy.

MOMMA: What? Pinocchio? That’s a funny name.

GEPPETTO: No Momma, that name’s perfect.

MOMMA: Whatever. (begins sweeping)

GEPPETTO: Pinocchio it is then. (steps back to admire his handiwork, brushes his forehead and knocks his hat off. Turns and bends to pick it up. Pinocchio suddenly comes to life and kicks him in the backside, sending him sprawling. Then returns to his lifeless position) Ooof!

MOMMA: (turns) Why are you lying on the floor, Geppetto?

GEPPETTO: (standing) Because you kicked me over, that’s why!

MOMMA: Oh no, I didn’t!

GEPPETTO: Well, I can hardly kick my own backside now, can I? (moves DS in a huff)

MOMMA: You’ve obviously reached the falling down stage. (spots Geppetto’s hat) Your hat’s on the floor. (bends to pick it up, and Pinocchio kicks her on the backside sending her sprawling) Oooof!

GEPPETTO: (turns and sees her lying on the floor) What happened, Momma?

MOMMA: (stands) You kicked me over when I wasn’t looking!

GEPPETTO: I didn’t kick you! Did I boys and girls? You see?

MOMMA: Well, if you didn’t kick me and I didn’t kick you. Then who did kick us?

GEPPETTO: Did you see who kicked us, boys and girls? (response) Pinocchio!?

MOMMA: Don’t talk daft, puppets can’t move. Well, not without strings anyway.

PINOCCHIO: (suddenly comes to life) I can!

MOMMA: He spoke! (swoons)

GEPPETTO: But that’s impossible!

PINOCCHIO: Why is it?

MOMMA: Because you’re made of wood!

PINOCCHIO: The Blue Fairy made it possible.

GEPPETTO & MOMMA: Blue Fairy!?

PINOCCHIO: She knew how much you wanted your own little boy. And when Papa went to the forest to chop down a tree, she placed a magic spell on it. And that’s how I’m here.

GEPPETTO: At last Momma, we have our very own little boy!

MOMMA: Yes, but I would have preferred a real one. Wood have? (laughs) Move on.

GEPPETTO: Can you walk, Pinocchio?

PINOCCHIO: Let me see. (gets off the stool and his legs wobble like jelly) Woooohah!

Momma and Geppetto quickly support him.

GEPPETTO: Don’t worry Pinocchio. We’ll teach you to walk and run and play, just like a real little boy.

MOMMA: We’ll also teach you to dance.

They link arms and dance around the room. Music cue 2: After a bit, Geppetto and Momma drop out, exhausted.

PINOCCHIO: Why have you stopped dancing?

GEPPETTO: We need to rest, Pinocchio.

MOMMA: We’re not as young as we used to be – despite my youthful looks.

PINOCCHIO: (tantrum) I want to dance, and if you won’t teach me, I’ll hold my breath until I turn blue and die! Then you’ll be sorry! (takes a deep breath and holds it)

GEPPETTO: Stop being silly, Pinocchio.

Pinocchio starts to sway and looks about to fall.

SFX: Pyro flash.

Enter Blue Fairy (SR)

PINOCCHIO: (exhales noisily) Blue Fairy!

MOMMA: You’re the one who gave us Pinocchio?

BLUE FAIRY: Yes, and I’ve a good mind to turn him into firewood for being so rude.

PINOCCHIO: I didn’t mean to be rude – honest! I just wanted to carry on dancing, that’s all.

GEPPETTO: Please give him another chance, Mrs Fairy.

PINOCCHIO: I’ll be better in future, I promise!

MOMMA: Everybody deserves a second chance, don’t they?

BLUE FAIRY: Very well. Let me introduce you to someone Pinocchio (waves her wand)

Music cue 3: Enter Jiminy (SR)

JIMINY: Hiya kids!

BLUE FAIRY: This is Jiminy Cricket.

PINOCCHIO: (laughs) What a funny looking little fellow.

JIMINY: Look who’s talking. At least I’m not made of wood.

BLUE FAIRY: Jiminy will be your conscience, and remind to always behave properly.

PINOCCHIO: What’s a conscience?

GEPPETTO: It’s that little voice inside every one of us, that tells us right from wrong.

MOMMA: But as you’re made of wood, you probably don’t have one.

BLUE FAIRY: Exactly. Would you like to eventually become a real boy Pinocchio?

PINOCCHIO: Yes, Blue Fairy! I’d like that more than anything in the whole wide world!

BLUE FAIRY: There are five things you must learn, for that to happen.

PINOCCHIO: But what if I forget them?

BLUE FAIRY: Then this rhyme will help you remember. My parents dear I will obey,

And do my work before I play.

I’ll go to school and learn to be clever,

Think of others and be selfish never. And long as the sun shines in the sky,

I’ll never ever tell a lie.

Pinocchio pulls a face on the last one.

GEPPETTO: I think that last one might prove to be a problem, Momma.

MOMMA: Me too. It’s as plain as the nose on his face.

BLUE FAIRY: As plain as the nose on his face. Of course! That’s it! Pinocchio. Every time you tell a lie, your nose will grow longer. (dings her wand at Pinocchio Music cue 4: who grabs his nose) So, make sure you always tell the truth.

PINOCCHIO: Oh, I will!

BLUE FAIRY: Come along Jiminy.

JIMINY: Bye, Pinoke!

Exit Blue Fairy and Jiminy (SR)

PINOCCHIO: Did you hear what Blue Fairy said? I’m going to be a real boy!

MOMMA: Yes, but only if you behave correctly. Now, tomorrow you will go to school.

PINOCCHIO: (petulant) But I don’t want to go to school.

GEPPETTO: Remember the first rule, Pinocchio. What is it again?

PINOCCHIO: (sighs) My parents dear, I will obey.

MOMMA: Good boy. Now go and have a glass of wood preserve and off to bed with you.

PINOCCHIO: Yes, Momma. Goodnight Momma, goodnight Papa. (exits SL)

GEPPETTO & MOMMA: Goodnight Pinocchio.

MOMMA: I’ve just realised. Pinocchio will need books for school, and we haven’t any money.

GEPPETTO: Then I will sell my best coat and buy some.

MOMMA: You can’t sell your only coat, it’s raining cats and dogs, out.

GEPPETTO: It’s not that bad, momma. (grabs his coat and opens the door)

SFX: Howling wind and rain sounds a toy cat and dog are thrown onstage.

Exit Geppetto.

MOMMA: (to audience) I said it was raining cats and dogs, didn’t I? Geppetto’s heart’s in the right place, if not his brain. See you all later, boys and girls. (exits SR)

Enter Pinocchio (SL)

PINOCCHIO: I don’t want to go to rotten ol’ school. I bet none of you boys and girls like going to school, do you? I thought not. Nobody would go to school if they didn’t have to. How long must you go for? Years! I’ll never manage that long!

Enter Jiminy (SR)

JIMINY: Hiya kids!

PINOCCHIO: (aside) It’s my silly old conscience, again. I suppose I’d better play along.

JIMINY: I’ve only been gone a few minutes, and already you’ve forgotten what you must do to become a real boy, Pinocchio.

PINOCCHIO: It’s not easy remembering everything Jiminy. But with you to help me, I’m sure I’ll make it in the end.

JIMINY: That’s the spirit, Pinoke. Music cue 5: Jiminy and Pinocchio. After song ends…Right Pinoke. I’m off to help the Blue Fairy paint all the colours on the rainbow. (to audience) Well, somebody’s got to do it. Just make sure you behave properly, and you’ll be a real boy before you know it. And if you’re ever in trouble, just whistle and I’ll come running.

PINOCCHIO: Okay Jiminy.

JIMINY: Bye Pinoke! (exits SR)

PINOCCHIO: Who does he think he is? I don’t need to learn anything, and I don’t need a stupid conscience. (storms off SL)

SFX: Howling wind and rain sounds.

Enter Geppetto minus his coat. He carries books tied up in a strap.

GEPPETTO: (shivering) I’m b…b…back M…M…Momma.

Enter Momma (SR)

MOMMA: Just look at you – you’re soaked to the skin!

GEPPETTO: I’m f…f…freezing!

MOMMA: Let’s get you dried out before you catch pneumonia.

Exit Momma and Geppetto (SR)

Lights dim to blackout.

SFX: Cock crows.

Lights rise. Enter Momma and Geppetto (SR)

GEPPETTO: It’s time for Pinocchio’s first day at school, Momma.

MOMMA: I’ll just call him. (calls) Pinocchio! It’s time for you to go to school!

Enter Pinocchio (SL) clutching his tummy and groaning.

PINOCCHIO: Ooooh! I don’t think I can go to school today, Momma.

GEPPETTO: Whatever’s the matter, Pinoke?

PINOCCHIO: I don’t feel well, Papa. And I’ve got spots on my face.

MOMMA: (checks him) It’s just a couple of knots. Nothing a dab of knotting can’t fix.

GEPPETTO: Here are you books Pinocchio.

MOMMA: Now, off you go and don’t be late home for tea.

PINOCCHIO: I won’t. Bye Momma! Bye Papa! (exits)

GEPPETTO: It’ll seem forever before he’s home again.

MOMMA: Then why don’t we pass the time by going to Stromboli’s fairground?

GEPPETTO: Good idea Momma. It’s years since I went up and down on a carousel?

MOMMA: Well just be careful. You don’t cope well with going up and down these days.

GEPPETTO: You’re right Momma, it might make me feel sick.

MOMMA: It doesn’t do me any good either. Let’s go then.

Exit Geppetto and Momma.