Pinocchio The Panto (Perusal)

Scene One

Geppetto’s Toyshop

Chorus/Children dressed as toy-soldiers, ballerinas, teddy-bears etc are onstage. Pinocchio, in the final stages of construction, sits on a stool. Music cue 1: Chorus/Children. After song ends…Exit all (SR)

Enter Geppetto (SL) he holds a small oil-can and hums as he oils each joint on Pinocchio’s arms and legs and manipulates them.

Geppetto There, he’s finished. (calls) Momma! Come and look!

Enter Momma (SL) carrying a broom.

Momma Not another little boy puppet, Geppetto.

Geppetto Yes, Momma. Isn’t he the most beautiful little boy puppet you ever did see?

Momma (examining Pinocchio) He’s very nice, Geppetto.

Geppetto Just look at the eyes on him. They could almost be alive.

Momma Which is more than we’ll be if we don’t earn enough to feed ourselves. Do you have a name for him?

Geppetto Not yet.

Momma How about, Kevin?

Geppetto No, Momma. This is a very special little puppet and he needs a very special name.

Momma Then why don’t you ask the boys and girls what to call him?

Geppetto What should we call him, boys and girls?

Audience shout out names.

Momma Pistachio?

Geppetto That sounds nutty.

Momma What? Pecorino?

Geppetto Too cheesy.

Momma What? Pinocchio? That’s a funny name.

Geppetto No Momma, that name’s perfect.

Momma Whatever. (begins sweeping)

Geppetto Pinocchio it is then. (steps back to admire his handiwork, brushes his forehead and knocks his hat off. Turns and bends to pick it up. Pinocchio suddenly comes to life and kicks him in the backside, sending him sprawling. Then returns to his lifeless position) Ooof!

Momma (turns) Why are you lying on the floor, Geppetto?

Geppetto (standing) Because you kicked me over, that’s why!

Momma Oh no, I didn’t!

Geppetto Well, I can hardly kick my own backside, now can I? (moves DS in a huff)

Momma You’ve obviously reached the falling down stage. (spots Geppetto’s hat) Oh look, your hat’s on the floor. (bends to pick it up, and Pinocchio kicks her on the backside sending her sprawling) Oooof!

Geppetto (turns and sees her lying on the floor) What happened, Momma?

Momma (stands) Don’t come the innocent with me! You kicked me when I wasn’t looking!

Geppetto I didn’t kick you! Did I boys and girls? See?

Momma Well, if you didn’t kick me and I didn’t kick you. Then who did kick us?

Geppetto Did you see who kicked us, boys and girls? Pinocchio!?

Momma Don’t talk daft, puppets can’t move. Well, not without strings anyway.

Pinocchio (suddenly comes to life) I can!

Momma He spoke! (swoons)

Geppetto But that’s impossible!

Pinocchio Why is it?

Momma Because, you’re made of wood!

Pinocchio The Blue Fairy made it possible.

Mom & Gep Blue Fairy!?

Pinocchio She knew how much you wanted your own little boy. So, when Papa went to the forest to chop down a tree, she placed a magic spell on it. And that’s how I’m here.

Geppetto At last Momma, we have our very own little boy!

Momma Yes, but I would have preferred a real one. Wood have? Get it. No? Move on then.

Geppetto Can you walk, Pinocchio?

Pinocchio Let me see. (gets off the stool and his legs wobble like jelly) Woooohah!

Momma and Geppetto quickly support him.

Geppetto Don’t worry Pinocchio. We’ll teach you to walk and run and play, just like a real boy.

Momma And we’ll also teach you to dance too.

They link arms and dance around the room. Music cue 2: After a while, Geppetto and Momma drop out, exhausted. Leaving Pinocchio to dance alone.

Pinocchio Why have you stopped dancing?

Geppetto We need a little rest, Pinocchio.

Momma We’re not as young as we used to be, despite what my youthful looks tell you.

Pinocchio (tantrum) I want to dance! And if you won’t teach me, I’ll hold my breath until I turn blue and die! And then you’ll be sorry! (takes a deep breath and holds it)

Geppetto Stop being silly, Pinocchio.

Pinocchio starts to sway and looks about to fall.

SFX: Pyro flash.

Enter Blue Fairy (SR)

Pinocchio (exhales noisily) Blue Fairy!

Momma You’re the one who gave us Pinocchio?

Blue Fairy Yes, and I’ve a good mind to turn him into firewood for being so rude.

Pinocchio Please don’t! I didn’t mean to be rude. I just wanted to carry on dancing, that’s all.

Geppetto Please give him another chance, Mrs Fairy.

Pinocchio I’ll be better in future, I promise!

Momma Everybody deserves a second chance, I suppose.

Blue Fairy Very well. Let me introduce you to someone who will remind Pinocchio, to always behave properly. (waves her wand) Music cue 3:

Enter Jiminy (SR)

Jiminy Hiya kids!

Blue Fairy This is Jiminy Cricket.

Pinocchio (laughs) What a funny looking little fellow.

Jiminy Look who’s talking. At least I’m not made of wood.

Blue Fairy Jiminy is going to be your conscience, Pinocchio.

Pinocchio What’s a conscience?

Geppetto It’s that little voice inside each one of us, that tells us right from wrong.

Momma But as you’re made of wood, you probably don’t have one.

Blue Fairy Exactly. How would you like to become a real boy Pinocchio?

Pinocchio I’d like that more than anything in the whole world.

Blue Fairy There are five things you must learn, for that to happen.

Pinocchio But what if I forget them, Blue Fairy?

Blue Fairy Then this rhyme will help you remember. My parents dear I will obey, And do my work before I play. I’ll go to school and learn to be clever, Think of others and be selfish never. As long as the sun shines in the sky, I’ll never ever tell a lie.

Pinocchio pulls a face on the last one.

Geppetto I think that last one might prove to be a problem, Momma.

Momma Me too. It’s as plain as the nose on his face.

Blue Fairy As plain as the nose on his face. Of course! That’s it! Pinocchio. Every time you tell a lie, your nose will grow longer. (dings her wand at Pinocchio Music cue 4: who grabs his nose) So, make sure you always tell the truth.

Pinocchio Oh, I will!

Blue Fairy Come along Jiminy.

Jiminy Bye, Pinoke!

Exit Blue Fairy and Jiminy (SR)

Pinocchio Did you hear that Momma and Papa? I’m going to be a real boy!

Momma Yes, but only if you behave correctly. Now, tomorrow you will go to school.

Pinocchio (petulant) But I don’t want to go to school.

Geppetto Remember the first rule, Pinocchio. What is it again?

Pinocchio (sighs) My parents dear, I will obey.

Momma Good boy. Now go and have a glass of wood preserve, and off to bed with you.

Pinocchio Yes, Momma. Goodnight Momma, goodnight Papa. (exits SL)

Gep & Mom Goodnight Pinocchio.

Momma I’ve just realised. Pinocchio will need books for school, and we haven’t any money.

Geppetto Then I will sell my best coat and buy some.

Momma You can’t sell your best coat. It’s raining cats and dogs, out.

Geppetto It’s not that bad, momma. (grabs his coat and opens the door)

SFX: Howling wind and rain sounds – toys cats and dogs are thrown onstage.

Exit Geppetto.

Momma (to audience) I said it was raining cats and dogs, didn’t I? The man’s a fool, but his heart’s in the right place, if not his brain. See you all later, boys and girls. (exits SR)

Enter Pinocchio (SL)

Pinocchio I don’t want to go to rotten ol’ school. I bet none of you boys and girls go to school, do you? You do? Do your parents force you to go? I knew it! Nobody would go to school if they didn’t have to. How long must you go to school for? Years! I’ll never manage to put up with school for that long!

Enter Jiminy (SR)

Jiminy Hiya kids!

Pinocchio (to audience) It’s my silly old conscience, again. I suppose I’d better play along.

Jiminy I’ve only been gone a few minutes, and already you’ve forgotten what you must do to become a real boy, Pinocchio.

Pinocchio It’s not easy remembering everything Jiminy. But with you to help me, I’m sure I’ll make it in the end.

Jiminy That’s the spirit, Pinoke. Music cue 5: Jiminy and Pinocchio. After song ends…Right Pinoke. I’m off to help the Blue Fairy paint all the colours on the rainbow. (to audience) Well, somebody’s got to do it. Just make sure you behave properly, Pinocchio and you’ll be a real boy before you know it. And if you’re ever in trouble, just whistle and I’ll come running.

Pinocchio Okay Jiminy.

Jiminy Bye Pinoke! (exits SR)

Pinocchio Who does he think he is? I don’t need to learn anything, and I don’t need a stupid conscience. (storms off SL)

SFX: Howling wind and rain sounds.

Enter Geppetto via door, minus his coat. He carries books tied up in a strap.

Geppetto (shivering) I’m b…b…back M…M…Momma.

Enter Momma (SR)

Momma Just look at you, Geppetto. You’re soaked to the skin. Let’s get you dried out before you catch pneumonia.

Exit Momma and Geppetto (SR)

Lights dim to blackout.

SFX: Cock crows.

Lights rise. Enter Momma and Geppetto (SR)

Geppetto It’s time for Pinocchio’s first day at school, Momma.

Momma I’ll just call him. (calls) Pinocchio! It’s time for you to go to school!

Enter Pinocchio (SL) clutching his tummy and groaning.

Pinocchio Ooooh! I don’t think I can go to school today, Momma.

Geppetto Whatever’s the matter, Pinoke?

Pinocchio I don’t feel well, Papa. And I’ve got spots on my face.

Momma (checks his face) It’s just a couple of knots. Nothing a dab of knotting can’t fix.

Geppetto Here are you books Pinocchio.

Momma Now, off you go and don’t be late home for tea.

Pinocchio I won’t. Bye Momma! Bye Papa! (exits via door)

Geppetto It’ll seem forever before he’s home again.

Momma Then why don’t we pass the time by going to Stromboli’s fairground?

Geppetto That’s a very good idea Momma. It’s years since I went up and down on the carousel?

Momma Just be careful, Geppetto. You don’t cope well with going up and down these days.

Geppetto You’re right Momma. It might make me feel a bit sick.

Momma Well, it certainly does me. Now let’s go.

Exit both via door.