Pantomania

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Description

Synopsis:

Old King Cole has banished Witch Gothel from Pantoland for committing evil deeds, but somehow she finds a way to return to and is determined to seek her revenge.

In Pantoland, illness is unheard of thanks to the protection of a magic oracle. But Gothel releases a virus which has been magically altered to be able to infect everyone in Pantoland.

Gothel forces Tweedledee and Tweedledum to steal the magic oracle and uses it to spread the virus even quicker. Things look bad for Pantoland, but Fairy Nightingale ably assisted by Dame Trott, finally brings Gothel’s reign of terror to an end and saves not only Pantoland, but panto itself.

Roles

10 principals, plus 6 small roles and some cameo roles, most of which can be doubled up.

Runtime:

All our scripts have a runtime of approximately 2hrs (not including any interval) but this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.

Music:

Our pantomimes all come with a full, suggested songs, music cues and SFX list.

Style:

Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample

CHARACTERS

DAME TROTT
SIMON TROTT
OLD KING COLE
QUEEN OF HEARTS
TWEEDLEDUM
TWEEDLEDEE
FAIRY NIGHTINGALE
GOTHEL
ZOFLORA
VILEDA

SUPPORTING ROLES – CHORUS

Prince Charming
Cinderella
Red Riding Hood
Herman The Hermit
Aladdin’s Genie
Sales Rep
Buttons
The Big Bad Wolf
Dancers; Spiders; Palace Retinue; Guards; etc.

 

SCENE ONE
PANTOMANIA

Music cue 3: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus [SL]

Enter Simon [SR]

SIMON: Hello panto lovers, welcome to Pantomania! I’m Simon Trott and I hate to start on a downer, but I’m a bit sad today. I’m sadder than that! The Trott’s are in danger of being evicted from our new flat due to rent arrears, after being evicted from our dairy for rent arrears. It’s because we’re so poor you see. [elicit sympathy] Last week we had our TV repossessed, in the middle of watching The Exorcist. Luckily, I managed to buy another one from Curry’s for a tenner. The sign said, ‘Telly for a tenner, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, I can’t turn that down. But we still have our cow Daisy because mum would never part with her. Daisy loves it when I sing ‘Daisy Daisy give me your answer do,’ and you can all join in if you like. Whenever I sing ‘Daisy Daisy,’ you reply ‘give me your answer do, okay.

Enter Dame Trott [SR]

DAME T: What was that awful racket I heard just now, Simon?

SIMON: It was probably some buskers, mum.

DAME T: Thank goodness for that, for a moment I thought Daisy was ill.

SIMON: Daisy’s fine mum. In fact I’ve never seen her happier than she is right now.

DAME T: Then that just makes things even harder for me, doesn’t it.

SIMON: What do you mean, mum?

DAME T: I’m afraid we have to sell Daisy.

SIMON: Sell Daisy! You’re not serious, mum, surely?

DAME T: Yes, Simon. If we don’t pay our rent by today, we’ll be evicted, again.

SIMON: Please don’t sell Daisy mum, it’ll only break my heart.

DAME T: Mine too Simon, Daisy’s been with us through good times and bad.

SIMON: Mostly bad.

DAME T: If your father hadn’t run off with that contortionist, leaving us destitute, we’d still have a dairy to run. She bent over backwards to lure him away from me.

SIMON: Do you still miss him mum?

DAME T: No, Simon, your father was a waste of space.

SIMON: But you must’ve loved him once mum.

DAME T: I did love him once. Twice in fact and look what it got me.

SIMON: What did it get you, mum?

DAME T: You and Jack.

SIMON: I wonder how Jack’s getting on ever since he married Jill and moved away.

DAME T: The last I heard, they were carting water down a hill for a living.

SIMON: That’s a funny job, isn’t it?

DAME T: They weren’t laughing when they tripped and fell down it yesterday.

SIMON: Are they both all right?

DAME T: Yes, they went to hospital and got bandaged up with vinegar and brown paper.

SIMON: These NHS cuts are really starting to bite, aren’t they mum?

DAME T: You’re not kidding, Simon. I asked my doctor for a repeat prescription, and he just handed me a piece of paper with a joke written on it. I said ‘Doctor, this prescriptions a joke!’

SIMON: And what did he say?

DAME T: He said, ‘I believe that laughter is the best medicine.’

SIMON: Are you going to try and get him struck off mum?

DAME T: No, Simon, the joke wasn’t that bad.

Enter an adult Little Red Riding Hood [SR]

RED: Hello you two.

DAME T: Hello Little Red Riding Hood.

SIMON: [leering] She’s not so little these days, mum.

DAME T: Roll your tongue back in Simon.

RED: Would you like me to take Daisy for her daily walk Mrs T?

DAME T: No Red, I’m selling her.

RED: Selling Daisy! But why?

DAME T: I’m skint and need the money to pay our rent.

RED: But what about Simon?

DAME T: I did consider it, but I think I’ll get more for Daisy.

RED: I meant, can’t he get a job and earn some money?

DAME T: Simon can never seem to hold a job down, Red.

RED: What jobs have you had, Simon?

SIMON: I used to be a sound technician, but I got sacked after getting some bad feedback. Before that, I had a job making doorknobs, but I couldn’t handle it. Then I worked in a factory making calendars, but they sacked me for taking a day off.

RED: Don’t either of you have any savings?

DAME T: I spent all my savings on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday – never again.

SIMON: And I signed up to an escapologist course and I’m struggling to get out of it.

DAME T: I don’t want to sell Daisy, but I’ve got no choice. Besides, it’s not easy keeping an incontinent cow in a basement flat.

SIMON: Not to mention downright unhygienic.

SFX: Loud mooing.

RED: It sounds like Daisy’s ready for her breakfast.

DAME T: I’d better go and make her last meal.

SIMON: Last meal!?

DAME T: Before the abattoir truck arrives. [exits SL biting her fist]

RED: Poor Daisy’s going to be turned into a BigMac!

SIMON: Not if I can help it Red. [exits at a run SL]

RED: I hope Mrs T changes her mind about selling Daisy, don’t you boys and girls?

Enter Prince Charming at a run [SR] he stops [CS] to catch his breath.

PRINCE: I can’t keep this up for much longer.

RED: Prince Charming!

PRINCE: I can’t stop Red, I’m on the run from Baron Hardup’s ugly stepdaughters.

RED: Why are Zoflora and Vileda chasing after you?

PRINCE: The glass slipper fitted Vileda, and now she expects me to honour my promise of marrying whoever it fitted.

RED: But how come they’re both after you?

PRINCE: They believe in sisters sharing everything, and that includes me.

RED: What are you going to do your highness?

PRINCE: I’m thinking of escaping to the human world above.

RED: I’ve heard it’s terrible up there. Global warming, rising sea-levels, plastic pollution. Not to mention Donald Trump.

PRINCE: Donald Trump?

RED: I told you not to mention him.