Mother Goose



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Mother Goose is desperate to recover her youthful looks, and agrees to let Demon Night have her precious Goose, Priscilla. But racked with guilt, she decides to rescue Priscilla from his evil clutches.

Meanwhile Demon Night has kidnapped Jill, the girlfriend of Mother Goose’s son Jack. Jack sets out to rescue her, accompanied by Mother Goose and his brother Silly Billy, Squire Blackheart and Sally the Goose Girl. They catch up with Demon Night curtesy of a hot-air balloon, but he flees to Gooseland, which is ruled by Queen Goose and claims asylum in return for supplying her with solid gold eggs.

When Priscilla fails to play ball and supply the gold eggs, the Queen tests who Priscilla really belongs too. Priscilla chooses Mother Goose and Demon Night gets his just deserts.

Surprisingly, this is the only pantomime where the dame plays the title role and it’s still a firm favourite with audiences.


10 principals, plus several smaller speaking roles, a goose and a chorus.


All of our scripts have a runtime of under 2hrs (not including any interval) But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.


All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.


Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample




Priscilla The Goose
Madame Fifi
Queen Goosey
Dancers; Townsfolk; Orphans; Beauticians; Guards; Spooks; etc




Chorus are onstage. Music cue 2: Chorus. After song ends…

CHORUS 1: I love living here in Eider Town.

CHORUS 2: Everybody is always so happy and carefree.

CHORUS 3: Apart from miserable old Squire Blackheart, that is.

CHORUS 4: He keeps raising our rents and threatens to evict anybody who can’t pay.

Enter Squire Blackheart unseen [SL]

CHORUS 5: Squire Blackheart’s the meanest, cruellest person I know.

SQUIRE: [snaps] And I can be even meaner and crueller!

CHORUS 6: Squire Blackheart!

SQUIRE: I’m glad you’re all here. Because it saves me from having to visit your filthy stinking homes, to tell you that your rents are going up again.

CHORUS 1: We can’t afford these constant rent rises, Squire.

SQUIRE: Anybody who doesn’t pay up, will be evicted. [pointing at the cottage] Including the old biddy who lives there.

CHORUS 2: You mean, Mother Goose?

CHORUS 3: The kindest, most loving person in all Eider Town!

SQUIRE: Bah! Love and kindness count for nothing in this world. Money and power are all that matter, and I want lots of both. My bailiffs will call round later, with orders to evict all defaulters. [exits SL laughing]

CHORUS 4: I didn’t think the Squire could get any meaner.

CHORUS 5: He won’t be happy until he’s driven everybody out of Eider Town.

CHORUS 6: Including poor Mother Goose.

Exit Chorus sadly [SR]

Enter Silly Billy [SL]

SILLY BILLY: Here chick-chick-chick! [to audience] Hello there! I’m Billy Goose! People call me Silly Billy, but I’m not silly really. Well, not all of the time. I’m just searching for our goose, Priscilla. I took her for a walk earlier and managed to lose her. If mum finds out, she’ll go mental. Priscilla’s the love of her life. I sometimes think she cares more for that old goose, than she does her own flesh and blood. You haven’t seen the old bird, have you? Priscilla, I mean, not mum. Well, if you do spot her be sure and let me know, okay?

M. GOOSE: [singing off] ‘Oh what a beautiful morning…’

SILLY BILLY: That sounds like mum, now.

Enter Mother Goose from the cottage, carrying a sweeping brush.

M. GOOSE: Hello Billy. Did Priscilla enjoy her little walk this morning?


M. GOOSE: [looking past him] Where is she then?

SILLY BILLY: Well, you see mum, what happened was…

M. GOOSE: Don’t tell me you’ve gone and lost her!

SILLY BILLY: All right then, I won’t.

M. GOOSE: You have! Haven’t you? You’ve lost my precious Priscilla! The love of my life! How could you be so careless, Billy?

SILLY BILLY: It wasn’t my fault, mum. I popped into a shop to get us both an ice-cream, and when I came back out, she’d gone.

M. GOOSE: Why didn’t you take her inside with you?

SILLY BILLY: They don’t allow giant geese inside the shop.

M. GOOSE: Have you tried calling her?

SILLY BILLY: Yes, mum. Haven’t I boys and girls?

M. GOOSE: And exactly how did you call her, Billy?

SILLY BILLY: Like this. [calling] Here, chick-chick-chick!

M. GOOSE: Fancy calling her like that. It’s no wonder everybody calls you, Silly Billy.

SILLY BILLY: What’s wrong with how I call her?

M. GOOSE: Because Priscilla’s a goose, not a flaming chicken! [on the words chicken and goose, she hits him on the bum with the broom]

SILLY BILLY: [jumps in the air when hit] Owah! I know she’s a goose, mum!

M. GOOSE: Then try calling her by making a sound like a goose!

SILLY BILLY: But I don’t know what sound a goose makes.

M. GOOSE: Well, it’s…it sounds like…it’s a sort of…

SILLY BILLY: See? Even you don’t know what sound a goose makes.

M. GOOSE: That’s because Priscilla is always quiet and well-behaved. And now I might never see her again. [lifts skirt and blows her nose on it]

SILLY BILLY: Don’t worry mum, I’m sure I’ll find her eventually.

M. GOOSE: You couldn’t find your own reflection in a mirror! I need some nerve tonic to calm me down – with ice and lemon. [exits inside]

SILLY BILLY: It might help me find Priscilla if I knew what sound a goose makes. Do you know what sound a goose makes, boys and girls? They honk! Of course! I’ll call Priscilla by going, honk-honk! But I’ve got a terrible memory and might forget. Will you help me out boys and girls? If you hear me calling chick-chick-chick! Just shout, honk-honk! To remind me, okay? Let’s have a practice then. I’ll go off and come back on calling chick-chick-chick, and you put me right. [exits and re-enters] That wasn’t loud enough, let’s try again. [repeat business] That’s better. I’m off to find Priscilla now, see you all later. Here, chick-chick-chick! [response] Thanks! [exits calling] Honk-honk!

Enter Mother Goose from the cottage carrying a basket of washing.

M. GOOSE: I thought I heard Priscilla, just then. [to audience] Did anybody see a gorgeous goose, just now? Never mind, I’ll just hang my washing out and take my mind of things for a bit. [puts basket down and starts pegging out large comedy bloomers. As she bends to pick another item from the basket. Priscilla enters SL waddles over and pecks her on the bum] Ooooh! Two pints please, milkman! [turns] Priscilla! I’ve been worried sick about you! Where have you been? [Priscilla whispers] You’ve been to the duck pond. [Priscilla nods] Why did you go to the duck pond? [Priscilla whispers] You went for a gander! Naughty girl, Priscilla. Promise you’ll never run away ever, again. [Priscilla nods] Good.

Enter Jack [SR]

JACK: Hello mum! [Priscilla gets animated] Priscilla’s a bit frisky this morning. What’s she been up to?

M. GOOSE: I don’t know, but I’ll bet it happened down at the duck pond.

Enter Jill at a run [SL]

JILL: Jack! Mrs Goose!

JACK: What’s the matter Jill? You look all flustered.

JILL: I’ve just heard some terrible news!

M. GOOSE: Don’t tell me…[current cheesy pop band]…have released another record?

JILL: It’s worse than that, Mrs G.

M. GOOSE: What could possibly be worse than that?

JILL: Squire Blackheart’s raising everybody’s rent again and threatening to evict anybody who doesn’t pay up.

M. GOOSE: The rotten swine!

JILL: He’s sending his bailiff’s round later today to collect.

M. GOOSE: And I don’t have any money to pay them. I’m that poor, whenever I go to KFC, I have to lick other people’s fingers.

JILL: Don’t you have anything put aside for a rainy-day Mrs G?