Mother Goose

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Description

Synopsis:

Mother Goose is desperate to recover her youthful looks, and agrees to let Demon Night have her precious Goose, Priscilla. But racked with guilt, she decides to rescue Priscilla from his evil clutches.

Meanwhile Demon Night has kidnapped Jill, the girlfriend of Mother Goose’s son Jack. Jack sets out to rescue her, accompanied by Mother Goose and his brother Silly Billy, Squire Blackheart and Sally the Goose Girl. They catch up with Demon Night curtesy of a hot-air balloon, but he flees to Gooseland, which is ruled by Queen Goose and claims asylum in return for supplying her with solid gold eggs.

When Priscilla fails to play ball and supply the gold eggs, the Queen tests who Priscilla really belongs too. Priscilla chooses Mother Goose and Demon Night gets his just deserts.

Surprisingly, this is the only pantomime where the dame plays the title role and it’s still a firm favourite with audiences.

Roles:

9 principals, plus several smaller speaking roles, a goose and a chorus.

Runtime:

All our scripts have a runtime of approximately 2hrs (not including any interval) but this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.

Music:

Our pantomimes all come with a full, suggested songs, music cues and SFX list.

Style:

Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample

CHARACTERS

MOTHER GOOSE
SILLY BILLY
JACK
JILL
BIFF
BASH
DEMON NIGHT
SQUIRE BLACKHEART
FAIRY DAY
SALLY

SUPPORTING ROLES – CHORUS

Priscilla The Goose
Estee
Lauder
Madame Fifi
Queen Goosey
Dancers; Townsfolk; Orphans; Beauticians; Guards; Spooks; etc.

 

SCENE ONE
EIDER TOWN

Mother Goose’s cottage is [USR] Music cue 2: Chorus. After song ends…

CHORUS 1: It’s lovely living here in Eider Town isn’t it?

CHORUS 2: Yes, it’s nice and cosy, and everybody’s always happy and carefree.

CHORUS 3: Apart from miserable old Squire Blackheart that is.

Enter Squire Blackheart unseen [SL]

CHORUS 4: Squire Blackheart’s the meanest, cruellest person I know.

SQUIRE: [snaps] And I can be even meaner and crueller!

CHORUS 5: Squire Blackheart!

SQUIRE: I’m glad you’re all here, because it saves me having to visit your filthy, stinking homes, to tell you that your rents are going up again.

CHORUS 1: We can’t afford yet another rent rise, Squire.

SQUIRE: Anybody who doesn’t pay up, will be evicted. Including the old biddy who lives there. [indicates mother Goose’s cottage]

CHORUS 2: You mean, Mother Goose?

CHORUS 3: The kindest, most loving person in all of Eider Town.

SQUIRE: Bah! Love and kindness count for nothing in this world. Money and power are all that matters, and I want lots of both. My bailiffs will call round later, with orders to evict all defaulters. [exits SL]

CHORUS 4: The Squire’s just got meaner and crueller.

CHORUS 5: Even Mother Goose will have to watch it now.

Exit Chorus sadly [SR]

Enter Silly Billy [SL]

SILLY BILLY: Here chick-chick! [to audience] Hello there! I’m Billy Goose! People call me Silly Billy, but I’m not silly really. Well, not all of the time. I’m just searching for our goose, Priscilla. I took her for a walk earlier and managed to lose her, and if mum finds out she’ll go mental, because Priscilla’s the love of her life. You haven’t seen the old bird, have you? Priscilla, I mean, not mum. Well, if you do spot her be sure and let me know, okay?

M. GOOSE: [singing off] ‘Oh what a beautiful morning…’

SILLY BILLY: That sounds like mum, now.

Enter Mother Goose from the cottage, carrying a sweeping brush.

M. GOOSE: Hello Billy, did Priscilla enjoy her little walk this morning?

SILLY BILLY: Yes mum.

M. GOOSE: Where is she then?

SILLY BILLY: Well, you see mum…what happened was…

M. GOOSE: Don’t tell me you’ve gone and lost her, Billy.

SILLY BILLY: All right then, I won’t.

M. GOOSE: You have, haven’t you? You’ve lost my precious Priscilla, the love of my life! How could you be so careless, Billy?

SILLY BILLY: It wasn’t my fault, mum. I popped into a shop to get us an ice-cream, and when I came back out, she’d gone.

M. GOOSE: Why didn’t you take her inside with you?

SILLY BILLY: They don’t allow giant geese inside the shop.

M. GOOSE: Have you tried calling her?

SILLY BILLY: Yes, mum. Haven’t I boys and girls?

M. GOOSE: And exactly how did you call her, Billy?

SILLY BILLY: Like this. [calling] ‘Here, chick-chick!’

M. GOOSE: Fancy calling her like that! It’s no wonder everybody calls you, Silly Billy.

SILLY BILLY: What’s wrong with how I call her?

M. GOOSE: Because Priscilla’s a goose, not a chicken! [whacks his bum with broom]

SILLY BILLY: Owah! [jumps in air] I know she’s a goose, mum!

M. GOOSE: Then try calling her by making a sound like a goose.

SILLY BILLY: But I don’t know what sound a goose makes.

M. GOOSE: Well, it’s…it sounds like…it’s sort of…

SILLY BILLY: You see? Even you don’t know what sound a goose makes.

M. GOOSE: That’s because Priscilla is always quiet and well-behaved, and now I might never see her again. [lifts skirt and blows her nose on it]

SILLY BILLY: Don’t worry mum, I’m sure I’ll find her.

M. GOOSE: You couldn’t find your own reflection in a mirror. I need some nerve tonic to calm me down, with lots of ice and lemon. [exits inside]

SILLY BILLY: It might help me find Priscilla if I knew what sound a goose makes. Do you know what sound a goose makes, boys and girls? What’s that? They honk! Of course! I’ll call by going, ‘honk-honk!’ But I’ve got a terrible memory and might forget. Will you help me out boys and girls? If you hear me calling, ‘chick-chick!’ Just shout, ‘honk-honk,’ to remind me, okay? Let’s have a practice then. I’ll go off and come back on calling, ‘chick-chick,’ and you put me right. [exits and re-enters] You can do better than that. [repeat business] Fantastic! I’ll carry on trying to find Priscilla, see you all later. Here, chick-chick! [response] Thanks! [exits calling] Honk-honk!

Enter Mother Goose from the cottage carrying a basket of washing.

M. GOOSE: I thought I heard Priscilla, honking. Did anybody see a gorgeous goose just now? Never mind, I’ll just hang my washing out and try and take my mind of things for a bit. [puts basket down and starts pegging out washing. As she bends to pick another item from the basket. Priscilla enters SL waddles over and pecks her on the bum] Ooooh! Two pints please, milkman! [turns] Priscilla! I’ve been worried sick about you, where have you been? [Priscilla whispers] You’ve been down at the duck pond. [Priscilla nods] Why were you at the duck pond? [Priscilla whispers] You went for a gander? Naughty girl, Priscilla.

Enter Jack [SR]

JACK: Hello mum! [Priscilla gets animated] Priscilla’s a bit frisky this morning. What’s she been up to?

M. GOOSE: I don’t know Jack, but I’ll bet it happened down at the duck pond.

Enter Jill at a run [SL]

JILL: Jack! Mrs Goose!

JACK: What’s the matter Jill? You look all flustered.

JILL: I’ve just heard some terrible news!

M. GOOSE: Don’t tell me Ant and Dec have retired from TV!

JILL: It’s worse than that, Mrs G.

M. GOOSE: I was being sarcastic Jill.

JILL: Squire Blackheart’s raising everybody’s rent again and threatens to evict anybody who can’t pay up.

M. GOOSE: The rotten swine!

JILL: He’s sending his bailiff’s round later to collect.

M. GOOSE: And I don’t have any money to pay them. I’m that poor, whenever I go to KFC I have to lick other people’s fingers.

JILL: Don’t you have anything put aside for a rainy day Mrs G?

M. GOOSE: Only an umbrella. I was hoping to earn money by selling goose eggs, but Priscilla’s never laid a single one. [clutches her chest] The stress of it all is giving me palpitations, I need some more nerve tonic. There’s a bowl of corn round the back for you, Priscilla. [exits inside]