Dick Whittington Version 2 (Perusal)

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Description

Synopsis:

Believing that the streets of London are paved with gold. Dick Whittington, a poor farm boy from Gloucester, heads there to seek his fortune. Accompanied by his well-educated cat. He finds work with Alderman Fitzwarren and falls in love with his daughter, Alice. However, King Rat throws a spanner in the works and Dick is run out of London as a thief. But vows to to clear his name and return for Alice.

Roles:

10 principals plus several minor cameo and speaking roles and a chorus.

Runtime:

All of our scripts have a runtime of approx 120 minutes, assuming that you use the full number of suggested musical numbers and not including any interval. But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit.

Music:

All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:

Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample

Characters

Dick Whittington
Alice Fitzwarren
Sarah
Idle Jack
Alderman Fitzwarren
Captain Cod
Bosun Chips
Puss
King Rat
Fairy Bowbelles

Chorus /Minor Roles

Sultan of Morocco
Wazir
Londoners, Sailors, Guards, Beachgoers, Harem Girls, etc.

Scene One

London Town

Alderman Fitzwarren’s shop is (USL) Music Cue 3: Song Alice and Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus.

Alice (to audience) Hello everybody! Welcome to London town. I’m Alice Fitzwarren, and you’ve picked a wonderful day to drop by. The sun is shining and everybody’s happy, despite the ongoing rat problem. My father Alderman Fitzwarren, owns that shop there. And right now he’s busy getting ready for a trip to Morocco, to deliver a cargo of jellied eels to the Sultan’s palace. It seems the Sultan developed a taste for them, after visiting the London Olympics.

Enter Alderman Fitzwarren (SL)

Fitzwarren Good morning Alice, my dear.

Alice Good morning Father. Is everything ready for tomorrow’s voyage to Morocco?

Fitzwarren I’m afraid not, Alice. So far, I’ve had no replies to my advert for sailors. And we can’t sail without a crew.

Alice I’m sure you’ll get some soon, father.

Fitzwarren I hope so, Alice. Have you seen Jack this morning? I must have a word with him.

Alice No father. Are you leaving him in charge of the shop while we’re away?

Fitzwarren You must be joking. The last time I left him in charge, I told him to reduce everything in the shop by 50% to clear, and what did he do?

Alice Threw half the shop’s stock in the skip.

Fitzwarren Exactly. No, I want him to go and buy some more rat poison.

Alice Are the rats are still managing to get inside the shop?

Fitzwarren Yes, and I’m at my wits ends trying to figure out how to stop them.

Alice Come on father, I’ll help you look for Jack.

Fitzwarren Thank you, Alice. Knowing him, he’s probably skiving somewhere.

Exit Alice and Fitzwarren into the shop.

Enter Dick and Puss (SL)

Dick London at last, Puss.

Puss Big deal.

Dick Aren’t you excited to be here in the big city, Puss?

Puss Not really. Beats me why you wanted to come here anyway. I mean, what do they have in London that we don’t have back home in Gloucester?

Dick Well for a start, the streets here are paved with gold.

Puss So you keep saying. Personally, I’m not convinced.

Enter Chorus Member (SR)

Dick (to Chorus. M) Excuse me, but where I can find the nearest street paved with gold?

Chorus. M You’re not from around here, are you?

Dick No, I’m from Gloucester.

Chorus. M That explains it then.

Dick Explains what?

Chorus. M The streets of London aren’t paved with gold.

Dick (shocked) They aren’t!?

Chorus. M Of course not, you wally! (exits laughing)

Dick I feel a right nana, for having believed all those stories now. Come on Puss, we’re heading back to Gloucester.

Puss Suits me, master.

They turn to exit (SL)

Music cue 4: Enter Bowbells (SR) dings her wand to freeze them. Music cue 5:

Bowbells Dick Whittington we all believe in you,
Not myth or fiction, your tale is true.
Stay in London and don’t get down,
And you’ll become Mayor of this old town. (waves her wand Music cue 6: and exits)

Dick and Puss unfreeze.

Dick On second thoughts, Puss. I think I’ll stay here and look for a job instead.

Puss Blimey! That was a quicker U-turn than a politician after being elected!

Dick (produces a mobile) I’ll just check on my Job Search app. (taps screen)

Puss (to audience) This could take a while, and I’m hungry. I’ll see if I can scrounge some food from that shop over there. Well, who can resist a cute little pussy? (goes over and meows outside the shop door)

Enter Alice from the shop.

Alice (to Puss) Hello there. My, what a pretty puss you are. Where is your master? (Puss goes to speak) Oh, I think I can see him. (to Dick) Excuse me, but is this your cat?

Dick and Alice are instantly smitten with each another.

SFX: Wedding bell chimes.

Dick Yes, he is. Why? Is he bothering you in any way whatsoever?

Alice No, but I think he might be hungry.

Puss Ravenous, would be a better description.

Alice (to Dick) You said that without moving your lips.

Dick Oh, that wasn’t me. That was my cat.

Alice (laughs) A talking cat? Why that’s absurd! Anybody who believes in talking cats, would have to be crazy.

Dick (laughs) Yeah…ha! Talking cats…as if…

Puss Excuse me? (Dick clamps a hand over Puss’s mouth)

Dick No, that was me practicing my ventriloquist act. Puss here is just a normal non-speaking cat…nothing special.

Puss (sarcastic) Meow! (moves away in a huff)

Dick What’s your name, then? If you don’t mind me asking.

Alice I’m Alice.

Dick Pleased to meet you Alice, I’m Dick.

Alice I’m pleased to meet you too, Dick.

Dick I’ve come here all the way from Gloucester.

Alice And what brings you to London? If you don’t mind me asking.

Dick I’ve come here to seek my fortune, by getting a job and working hard.

Alice At least you aren’t one of these silly people who come here, expecting to find the streets paved with gold. Can you imagine anybody believing that nonsense?

Dick Ha! They’d have to be pretty stupid, wouldn’t they?

Puss Almost as stupid as those who believe in talking cats.

Alice You don’t have to keep on throwing your voice, Dick.

Puss He didn’t.

Alice I could’ve sworn that your cat spoke just then.

Puss Watch my lips, dear. (slowly) I…am…a…talking…cat!

Alice (jumps back startled) My goodness! It’s a talking cat!

Puss (to audience) I think the penny has finally dropped.

Dick Yes, sorry about earlier. But he really can talk. In fact, he hardly ever stops. I only pretended it was me, because I didn’t want you thinking I was a looney.

Alice And now I’m the one who feels stupid.

Dick I also believed the streets of London were paved with gold, so that makes us even.

Alice (laughs) I suppose it does really.

Dick I don’t suppose you know of any good jobs going, do you?

Alice I could try and get you a job in my Father’s shop, if you like.

Dick You’d do that for me?

Alice Of course, Dick. And if your cat’s any good at catching rats, father will be pleased. Our shop is overrun with them.

Dick Puss will sort out your rat problem in no time at all. Won’t you Puss?

Puss If the renumeration package is acceptable.

Alice I’m sure we can come to some agreement. Come with me, then.

Exit all into the shop.

Enter Idle Jack (SL) yawning and scratching his head.

Jack Hiya gang! My name’s Idle Jack. And every morning before starting work for Alderman Fitzwarren, I always have a little snooze in the stockroom. But Mr Fitzwarren said if he ever caught me sleeping on the job, he’d sack me. And I’ve been told that whenever I’m asleep, I sometimes snore loudly. So, if you ever hear me snoring. I want you all to shout as loud as you can, wake up Jack! Will you do that? (response) Thanks. That way I’ll wake up and won’t get sacked. And whenever I come on, I’ll shout, hiya gang! To wake up any of you lot that’s fallen asleep. And judging by this script, that might be quite a few of you. And you can shout back hiya jack! Let’s have a practice then. Hiya gang! That’s brilliant! I’ll also let you into a little secret. I’m in love with Mr Fitzwarren’s daughter, Alice. She’s so beautiful, she gives me goosebumps on my goosebumps. I once asked if she’d ever consider going out with me, and she replied, when hell freezes over. So now I’m just waiting for a really cold snap. (yawns) I’m just off for a little snooze, now. See you all later! (exits into shop)

Music cue 7: Enter Sally (SR) carrying a small basket.

Sally (to audience) Hello everybody! I’m Sally Forth, Alderman Fitzwarren’s cook. Now every time I come on, I’ll shout, hello everybody! And I want all the posh ones amongst you to reply…(posh voice)…hello Sally! And all the common ones amongst to shout…(common voice)…wotcha love! Okay? Let’s try it shall we. Hello everybody! You’re a lot more common than I thought. But it’s been one of those mornings you know. I was in town doing my weekly shop, when this big burly bloke ambushed me up the back ally and said, give me all your money! I told him I didn’t have any money on me, and he said, I don’t believe you and I’m going to search you all over. Well I had an hour to spare, so I said carry on. And he did. Oh, and he was thorough. After a while he stopped and said all right, I believe you. And I said, keep searching and I’ll write you out a cheque. But he said he was cash only and left. Anyway I’ve just been shopping for the Alderman’s dinner, and I got a bit carried away and bought lots of sweeties as well. I can’t possibly eat them all myself because I’m watching my figure, and I was wondering if anybody would like some. (distributes sweets)

Music cue 8: Enter Captain Cod and Bosun Chips (SL)

Captain Excuse me madam.

Sally Why? What have you done?

Captain We’re both sailors, and we were wondering if you could do us a small favour.

Sally I have been known to do favours for sailors in my time. So, what is it you want then?

Bosun Well it’s not what you’re thinking.

Captain How do you know I was thinking what you think I was thinking?

Bosun Well, if you weren’t thinking what I thought you were thinking when you weren’t thinking it. Then please accept my apologies for thinking it in the first place.

Sally I should think so, too.

Captain Do you know the way to Fitzwarren’s Store?

Sally I ought to, seeing as how I work there. (pointing) Anyway, didn’t you notice that big shop sign just there?

Bosun Sometimes you can’t see the wood for the trees, can you?

Sally Or maybe you just can’t read?

Bosun Of course, I can read!

Sally Not large shop signs, obviously.

Captain Allow me to introduce us. I’m Captain Cod, and this is Bosun Chips.

Sally Cod and Chips, eh? Well, how about wrapping it up and getting to the point?

Bosun We’re responding to your ad.

Sally At last! Somebody has answered my Lonely-Hearts ad! Well as you can see, I’m even more gorgeous than my photo. My hobbies are barbecuing and naturism. Although combining the two, can be a bit hair-raising.

Captain No! (produces newspaper) I mean this here ad in the newspaper.

Sally (looks) That’s Mr Fitzwarren’s ad for sailors, to crew his ship.

Captain That’s right. And we’re applying.

Bosun I take it he still requires crew members?

Sally Yes, but he’ll only employ trustworthy sailors.

Bosun We’re trustworthy sailors.

Sally So, if I were to tell you a secret you wouldn’t repeat it to anybody?

Captain Cover me in batter and deep fry me, if I repeat it to a single soul.

Bosun What’s the secret, then?

Sally Well, most people think that I’m under twenty-five. But really, I’m…(whispers to him)

Captain Fifty-two! (or whatever age)

Sally I thought you said you wouldn’t tell a single soul?

Bosun He didn’t tell a single soul. (indicating audience) He told a whole bunch of them.

Sally Anyway, I was just testing you out. That isn’t my real age after all.

Captain How old are you then?

Sally Old enough to spot an idiot when I see one.

Bosun What about the ad?

Sally Forget it. Mr Fitzwarren won’t want blabbermouths like you two aboard his ship.

Enter Fitzwarren from the shop.

Fitzwarren There you are, Sally. Have you seen Jack anywhere?

Sally No, Alderman Fitzwarren.

Fitzwarren That boy is harder to find than a truthful politician.

Captain You’re Alderman Fitzwarren?

Fitzwarren Yes. Can I help you?

Captain I hear you is looking for a ship’s crew, Alderman.

Fitzwarren I am indeed.

Captain Then look no further, sir. I’m Captain Cod, and this is Bosun Chips. And we’ll happily sign up for the whole voyage.

Fitzwarren Well that’s two crew members, at least.

Captain You mean, we’re the only ones to have answered your ad so far?

Fitzwarren That’s right. I can’t think why we haven’t had more sailors applying.

Bosun Perhaps the name of your ship has been putting them off.

Sally I tried warning him against hiring a ship called, The Leaky Tub.

Fitzwarren It’s all they had left. How can I persuade more sailors to join my ship, Captain Cod?

Captain It’s hard to say, sir. But it might help if we had a beautiful woman aboard ship.

Sally We do have a beautiful woman aboard ship, as it happens.

Fitzwarren Do we?

Sally Yes, we do!

Fitzwarren Who’s that then, Sally?

Sally Me, you silly sausage! I’m the ship’s cook, remember.

Bosun I think I’ve changed my mind about signing on, Captain.

Captain And why is that, Bosun?

Bosun She has a face that could sink a battleship, never mind a sailing ship. And her cooking is probably as bad.

Sally How dare you! I’ll have you know I’m head chef for Fitzwarren’s famous shop cafe.

Fitzwarren It’s true. (aside to audience) And now it’s become in-famous.

Sally Have either of you sailors tried my spotted dick?

Captain No, we haven’t had the pleasure.

Sally Never mind. I can easily rectify that on the voyage.

Bosun I don’t want anything rectifying, thank you very much!

Captain I’ll need to check your ship over first, Alderman. To make sure that we have everything required for a long sea voyage .

Fitzwarren Very well Captain. You’ll find The Leaky Tub moored down at the docks. Meanwhile, I’ll get in touch with an agency for some more crew.

Captain Very good Alderman. Come along Bosun.

Exit Captain and Bosun (SL)

Fitzwarren I only hope I can persuade enough people to join the crew.

Sally Once word gets out that I’m sailing with you. You’ll have sailors queuing up to climb aboard. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m off to put this shopping away. (exits into shop)

Fitzwarren And I’ll carry on trying to find Jack. (to audience) Cheerio! And do come and visit my shop sometime. (exits SR)