Dick Turpin Rides Again



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Dandy highwayman Dick Turpin travels to York pursued by Judge Mental and his Bow Street Runners, Hand and Cuff.

In York, Dick meets and falls in love with Maggie Micklegate who works at The Cock And Bull Inn, run by Doris Dolittle and her son Simon.

Dick reveals he has a pirate’s treasure map and offers to make them all rich.

Will Judge Mental get his hands on Dick, or will our hero evade capture. Read the script in full to find out.


11 principals and several smaller roles, plus some cameo’s a chorus and a pantomime horse.


All our scripts have a runtime of approximately 2hrs (not including any interval) but this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.


Our pantomimes all come with a full, suggested songs, music cues and SFX list.


Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample




Young Boy
Street beggars
Bess [Dick’s horse]
Villagers, Tavern Workers, Customers, etc.




Music cue 2: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus [SR]

Enter Doris Dolittle [SL]

DORIS: Hello everybody! I said, hello everybody! That’s better, I knew you had it in you. I’m Doris Dolittle and I run The Cock And Bull Inn with my son Simon. I used to run it with my late husband until he died, leaving me a young widow. It’s sadder than that! He didn’t leave me much after he died, although he left me plenty of times while he was alive. I wasn’t going to have any kids with him, but then I figured I might need a kidney in thirty years’ time. My Simon isn’t the sharpest knife in the block though. He once returned a ring doughnut to Gregg’s because it had a hole in it.

Enter Simon [SR] eating a sausage roll.

SIMON: Mmmmm! This Gregg’s sausage roll’s lovely.

DORIS: You could’ve had one of ours for nothing Simon.

SIMON: I know mum, but this one’s meatless.

DORIS: Why are you eating a meatless sausage roll?

SIMON: I’ve decided to become a vegan

DORIS: Like Mr Spock?

SIMON: I said vegan mum, not Vulcan.

DORIS: Why have you turned vegan?

SIMON: I believe that eating meat is bad for the planet.

DORIS: Then don’t feed it any.

SIMON: Maybe we should serve meatless meals at our pub.

DORIS: Our meals are already meatless.

SIMON: What about our steak pies?

DORIS: Don’t stake your life on it.

SIMON: Our pork pies?

DORIS: Porky lies.

SIMON: Ham and mushroom pasty?

DORIS: There wasn’t mush-room for any ham.

SIMON: Veganism’s big business these days mum.

DORIS: Then maybe I’ll change to being vegan friendly.

SIMON: Just being friendly would make a change.

DORIS: I could make tofu pies and sell them tofu the price of one. [laughs]

SIMON: You’d have to replace cow’s milk with a non-dairy

DORIS: Like what?

SIMON: Almond milk.

DORIS: That’s nuts!

SIMON: I wonder how they milk an almond.

DORIS: Your father tried milking something he couldn’t, and it ended in tragedy.

SIMON: What do you mean mum?

DORIS: He mistook a bull for a cow.

SIMON: How did he manage that?

DORIS: He was an idiot. Mind you, he made a friend for life. The bull took to following him everywhere and eventually caused his death.

SIMON: What happened mum?

DORIS: It followed him into the pub, and as he tried resisting its amorous advances, he fell down the cellar steps and a barrel of beer landed on top of him.

SIMON: That must’ve been a terrible shock for you mum.

DORIS: It certainly was. It was a case of beer today and gone tomorrow, and I’ve been living in poverty ever since.

SIMON: Maybe we’ll win the lottery, and then we won’t be poor anymore.

DORIS: That’s impossible, Simon.

SIMON: Why is it?

DORIS: It’s the eighteenth century and the lottery hasn’t been invented yet.

SIMON: I’m always thinking ahead, mum.

DORIS: Your head isn’t built for thinking, Simon.

SIMON: Yes it is, and it mostly thinks about Maggie Micklegate. [sighs]

DORIS: Are you still holding a torch for our barmaid.

SIMON: Yes, and I’m hoping she might hold something for me one day.

DORIS: Like what? Bearing in mind this is a family show.

SIMON: My hand.

DORIS: Thank goodness for that.

SIMON: And someday I hope to marry her, mum.

DORIS: Give over, her mum’s older than me.

SIMON: I meant Maggie! I think she’s beautiful.

DORIS: Looks aren’t everything Simon. I didn’t marry you father for his looks.

SIMON: Then what attracted you to him?

DORIS: His spotted dick.

SIMON: I’m sorry I asked now.

DORIS: I still use his recipe to this day.

SIMON: I didn’t know dad could cook.

DORIS: Oh yes, he was very hands on in the kitchen. And lots of other places too.

SIMON: What did he like getting his hands on the most?

DORIS: Tarts.

SIMON: What do you miss most about him mum?

DORIS: His enormous sausage.

SIMON: I beg your pardon?

DORIS: He used to make huge German sausages.

SIMON: I hate German sausages, they’re the wurst. [laughs]

DORIS: Just like that joke.

Enter Squire Grabbit [SL]

SIMON: It’s our landlord Squire Grabbit.

SQUIRE: Good morning Doris.

DORIS: Well it was until you turned up.

SQUIRE: I want something from you.

DORIS: [grabs hold of him] Oh, squire, I didn’t know you cared!

SQUIRE: [pushing her away] I meant, your rent.