Cinderella Version 2

SCENE ONE

THE KINGDOM OF RURITANIA

Music cue 4: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus [SL]

Enter Buttons at a run [SR] carrying a gift-wrapped box.

BUTTONS: Hiya boys and girls! I’m Buttons, and I work at Hardup Hall. And now you all know my name, perhaps you’ll tell me yours. I’ll say, hello everybody my name’s Buttons, what’s yours? And you all shout out your names. Ready? Hello everybody my name’s Buttons, what’s yours? Who said mine’s a pint? Seeing as we’re now on first name terms, I’ll let you into a secret. I’ve fallen in love with somebody. [to female in audience] No dear it’s not you, sit down. I’m in love with Baron Hardup’s daughter, Cinderella. It’s her birthday today and I’ve bought her a present, and I’m just looking for somewhere to leave it to stop her ugly stepsisters getting their paws on it. [puts box DSR] I know, I’ll leave it here and if anybody goes near it, just shout Buttons up and I’ll come running. Let’s have a practice then. I’ll go off and come on pretending to be somebody about to nick it. [conducts the business] Fantastic! Keep watching it and I’ll see you later. Bye! [exits SR]

Enter Chorus [SL] chatting.

Enter Cinderella [SR] in a cheery mood.

CINDERELLA: Good morning, everyone!

CHORUS: Good morning, Cinders!

CINDERELLA: Has anybody seen my father this morning?

CHORUS 1: We saw him leaving the bank earlier, Cinders.

CINDERELLA: And did he look happy?

CHORUS 2: No, he was sobbing uncontrollably.

CINDERELLA: I wonder what’s wrong this time.

CHORUS 3: It probably concerns money.

CHORUS 4: Or more likely, the lack of it.

CINDERELLA: Tell me about it.

CHORUS: Bye Cinders!

Exit Chorus [SR]

Enter Baron Hardup [SL] looking through papers and sobbing.

CINDERELLA: Whatever’s the matter, father?

BARON: I’ve just been checking my bank statements Cinders, and if your stepsisters keep spending like they are, I’ll soon be bankrupt.

CINDERELLA: Don’t despair father I’m sure I can make some more savings.

BARON: You’ve made enough sacrifices already, Cinders. It breaks my heart to see you dressed in rags.

CINDERELLA: I don’t mind mending and making do father.

BARON: [spots present] Hello! It looks like somebody’s lost an expensive present.

CINDERELLA: I’ll see if there’s an address on it. [goes to pick it up]

Enter Buttons at a run [SR]

BUTTONS: Leave that alone! [realises] Cinders! Baron!

CINDERELLA: Is this yours Buttons?

BUTTONS: Yes, Cinders.

BARON: What is it?

BUTTONS: It’s a present for somebody, and they’re…[audience]…minding it for me.

CINDERELLA: Is it for someone special, Buttons?

BUTTONS: Yes Cinders, someone very special.

BARON: I’m going back to the bank, Cinders.

CINDERELLA: Are you going to ask them to extend your overdraft, father?

BARON: No, I’m going to do what any desperate person in my situation would do.

BUTTONS: You’re going to rob the bank!?

BARON: No! I’m going to grovel at the bank manager’s feet! [exits SL]

BUTTONS: Your father seems troubled Cinders, is anything the matter?

CINDERELLA: He’s worried he’ll soon be bankrupted due to my stepsisters spending

BUTTONS: Would it help if I took a pay cut?

CINDERELLA: That’s very kind of you Buttons, but I know you haven’t been paid in ages.

BUTTONS: It’s true Cinders. Even my overdraft has an overdraft.

Music cue 5: Enter Uglies [SL] with bags from Matalan and Primark.

SCIATICA: What a pathetic shopping experience that was, Dyspepsia.

DYSPEPSIA: Some days are just a total waste of makeup, Sciatica.

SCIATICA: This place doesn’t have the designer-clothes shops, to cater for super-models like us.

CINDERELLA: Have you both been spending again?

DYSPEPSIA: Of course, we have.

SCIATICA: There’s nothing else to do in this dump.

CINDERELLA: Ruritania isn’t a dump, it’s a lovely place.

BUTTONS: Well, it was until they arrived.

CINDERELLA: What have you bought this time?

SCIATICA: We’ve bought a new spring wardrobe.

DYSPEPSIA: Summer wardrobe.

SCIATICA: Autumn wardrobe.

DYSPEPSIA: And winter wardrobe.

SCIATICA: And now we have all these wardrobes, we need more new clothes to fill them.

DYSPEPSIA: So, we’re off shopping again tomorrow.

CINDERELLA: If you carry on spending like this, father will be ruined!

SCIATICA: It’s not our fault he hasn’t got two ha’pennies to rub together.

DYSPEPSIA: We warned mother against marrying him in the first place.

SCIATICA: But she was a naive flibbertigibbet, who’d fallen for his wicked wiles.

DYSPEPSIA: An innocent young girl, easily mizzled by the ways of nasty men.

BUTTONS: Mizzled?

DYSPEPSIA: Yes, mizzled!

BUTTONS: Hold it right there! [exits and re-enters with a script, tapping it with his finger] It’s misled! [chucks script offstage]

DYSPEPSIA: Whatever. And now the Baron’s had his wicked way with mummy, he wants to stop our only pleasures in life.

SCIATICA: Shopping and eating.

DYSPEPSIA: Speaking of food, I’m famished!

SCIATICA: Me too.

BUTTONS: You both look the opposite of famished.

UGLIES: Cheek!