Cinderella Version 1 (Perusal)

Scene Three

Hardup Hall

Music cue 7: Cooks.  After song ends…

Uglies enter (SL) draped in jewellery. 

Buttons follows on laden with boxes and bags of shopping.

Buttons
Hiya kids! (audience respond)

Donna
I’m pooped Bella. Shopping is such hard work.

Bella
I know Donna, but somebody’s got to do it.

Donna
(to Cooks) Back to work you lot! Just because you’re working your notice, it doesn’t mean you can skive off!

Cooks exit, grumbling.

Uglies flash their jewellery at the audience.

Bella
How do you like the rocks, plebs?

Uglies
Bling! Bling!

Buttons starts to sag under the weight of the shopping. 

Buttons
This shopping weighs a ton, where shall I put it?

Donna
Anywhere you like.

Buttons drops everything on the floor, apart from one bag kept on his arm. Several shoes spill out from one of the bags.

Buttons
Why have you bought so many pairs of shoes?

Bella
Well you know what they say. ‘If the shoe fits’…

Uglies
(face each other)…Buy a pair in every colour! (laugh hysterically)

Buttons
(takes the remaining bag from his arm) What’s in here?

Bella
That bag contains our recipe for wooing the Prince.

Buttons
Let’s have a look then. (takes out a bottle of toilet cleaner) What’s this?

Donna
It’s a new and exclusive perfume.

Buttons
(reads label) ‘Toilet duck’?

Donna
Yes, and it’s guaranteed to drive men ‘quackers’. (laughs)

Buttons
They’d have to be. (takes out a bar of ‘Vanish’ soap) What about this?

Bella 
That’s deodorant.

Buttons
It says ‘Vanish’!

Bella
We know! Apparently, you rub it in and all resistance ‘disappears’! (laughs)

Buttons
You two never had any to start with. (takes out an aerosol can) And what’s this?

Donna
That’s a present for Cinderella.

Buttons
Really? (looks at the can) Hang on, this is a pest control spray.

Bella
Yes, and Cinderella’s the biggest pest we know!

Uglies laugh.

Donna
(twirls around) What do you think of my new dress, Bella?

Bella
It fits you like a glove, Donna’.

Donna
Do you really think so?

Bella
Yes, it sticks out in five places.

Donna
Cheek!

Bella
Whereas I have an hourglass figure.

Donna
(glances at Bella’s rear) Pity all the sand’s fallen to the bottom. As for me, I have the skin of a new-born baby.

Bella
(to audience) A baby elephant.

Donna 
Rubbish! Everybody says I have ‘Scandinavian looks’.

Bella
No! They say you look like a ‘Norse’. (pronounced as – an ‘orse’)

Donna 
Buttons! Which one of us is the loveliest?

Uglies pose seductively.

Buttons
(tongue-in-cheek) How could I possibly choose between two equally gorgeous ladies, like yourselves? There’s only one way to settle this.

Bella
(pulls Buttons aside) Yes, but who’ll dispose of the body?

Buttons
Nothing as drastic as that! I’ve been secretly working on a beauty-measuring machine.

Donna
You can’t measure beauty!

Bella
If they could, they’d have to use a micrometer on you.

Buttons
I’ll just go and fetch it in. (exits SR and returns with the Beauty Machine)

Donna
How does it work then?

Buttons
You insert your arm here…(indicates opening 2)…and it gives a score. Your leg in here…(indicates opening 4)…and so on.

Bella
(pointing to opening 1) What goes in there?

Buttons
Your face.

Donna
(pointing to opening 3) What about here?

Buttons
That’s where you put your bum.

Bella
With her it won’t make much difference either way.

Donna
I bet I score higher than you!

Bella
Bet you don’t!

Donna
Bet I do!

Bella
What’s the highest score ever, Buttons?

Buttons
Well so far I’ve only tried it out on Cinders, and she scored a hundred.

Donna
I should get that for my beautiful face alone.

Bella
Less deductions for the rest of you, makes it minus a thousand.

Donna
(raising a fist) You’ll be minus your teeth in a minute!

Buttons
I’ll just start it up. (presses a large button)

SFX: Whirring sound. 

Donna
Are you sure it’s safe?

Buttons
Yes, I’m sure the machine can take it. It’s been built to the highest specifications.

Bella
(glancing at Donna) Unlike some people I could mention.

Donna
We’ll see about that. (to Buttons) Ready Buttons?

Buttons
(to Donna) Right, put your arm in here. (indicates opening 2)

Donna inserts her arm.

SFX: Squelching sound.

Donna
Ughh! It feels like cold custard.

SFX: Bell dings and the machine displays a zero.

Buttons
(checks the display) Your arm scores…nought!

Bella falls about laughing.

Donna
There must be something wrong with it.

Bella
Yes – it’s attached to you.

Donna
(removes her arm, which is covered in ‘gunge’) Ughh! It’s horrible!

Bella
I could’ve told you that before you put it in.

Donna
What is it?

Buttons
It’s Genetically-modified, Ubiquitous, Non-edible, Gelatinous, Extract.

Donna
(silently mouths the letters and exclaims) Gunge!?

Buttons
It’s the latest in cutting-edge biotechnology.

Bella
Then it’s bound to give me top marks for my silky smooth legs. (flashes her legs)

Buttons
(pointing at Bella’s legs) What are all those red marks?

Donna
That’s where she strikes matches.

Bella
(raising a fist) I’ll strike you in a minute.

Buttons
(to Bella) Right, put your leg in here. (opening 4)

Bella inserts her leg. 

SFX: Various sound effects, followed by a loud ripping noise.

Bella
Ooowerrh! Uggghh! Arrghh! (removes her leg and sees her tights are ripped) My best tights! (kicks the machine) Stupid machine!

Buttons
Careful! You might damage it!

Bella
(threatens him) It’s not the only thing I’ll damage!

Machine displays zero and Donna falls about laughing.

Bella
Now you’re really going to get it, Buttons!

Buttons
(placating them) Hang on! Hang on! Why don’t you go for the ultimate test?

Donna
What does it involve?

Buttons
You both put your faces in here…(indicates openings 1)…at the same time and the machine will calculate which one is the prettiest.

Uglies
Right!

Uglies insert their faces into the openings. 

SFX: Crunching, grinding, squelching sounds.

Buttons
(to audience) I don’t like the sound of that.

SFX: Lights flash and siren sounds accompanied by smoke and flash effects. 

Uglies scream and remove their gunge-covered faces. 

Uglies
(scream) Buttons!

Buttons
Whoops! I think it needs some minor adjustments. (to audience) See ya later folks.

Buttons exits (SR) with the machine, pursued by the Uglies.

Uglies
Come back here!

SFX: Doorbell.

Dim and Wit enter through the door.

Wit
(calls) Hello! Anybody at home?

Dim
Are you sure this is the right place?

Wit
‘Course I am. (points to newspaper) See? ‘Handymen wanted. Apply Hardup Hall’.

Baron enters (SL)

Baron
And who might you be?

Dim
We might be Batman and Robin.

Baron
(wide-eyed) Really?

Wit
Except for one thing.

Baron
And what’s that?

Dim
We’re not.

Baron
Then who are you?

Wit
We’re handymen.

Baron
Can you lay bricks?

Dim
No.

Baron
Can you re-wire a house?

Wit
No.

Baron
Can you plaster walls?

Dim
No.

Baron
Then what makes you think you’re handy?

Wit
We live just around the corner.

Dim
I once read a book all about joining sheet metal together.

Wit
Was it any good?

Dim
It was riveting. (laughs) Get it? ‘Riveting’! (laughs)

Baron
Look here, what do you want?

Wit
We’re answering your advert. (shows Baron the ad) See? ‘Handymen wanted’.

Baron
My wife must’ve put this in. But she’s not here, so I’ll have to interview you instead.

Wit
(aside to Dim) Leave this to me. You wife’s after handymen, right?

Baron
Yes..

Wit
Well we’re men aren’t we?

Baron
I assume so.

Wit 
And we have hands, don’t we?

Baron
Well, obviously.

Wit
Then that makes us ‘handy-men’ doesn’t it?

Dim
I love the way you make things sound so simple.

Wit
Yes, but I’m not taking the blame for you.

Dim
What’s the pay like?

Baron
My wife will pay you what you’re worth.

Dim
I was afraid of that.

Wit
(to Dim) I’m sure you can impress her, if you put your mind to it.

Dim
Do you really think so?

Wit
Yes! Remember the time you used your head, to stop that runaway ghost-train?

Dim
I tripped over and got it stuck in the track!

Wit
It made a big impression on the fairground owner.

Dim
It made a big impression on my head!

Wit
It was the best use of your brains, I’ve ever seen.

Dim
I spent six months in a coma!

Wit
It was a small price to pay.

Dim
And I never got paid.

Baron
You should’ve taken out an accident policy.

Dim 
I did, but they wouldn’t pay out.

Baron
Why not?

Dim
They said it didn’t cover stopping runaway ghost-trains, with my head.

Baron
(tuts) Small print, eh?

Wit
Never mind, this handymen’s job is going to be right up our street.

Dim
That’ll save us some money then.

Wit
How do you mean?

Dim
Well if it’s up our street, we can walk there and save on bus fares.

Baron
Well I really must be off. I have to find something important. (vacant stare) I just wish I knew what it was and where it is. (exits SR)

Music cue 8: Max runs on (SL) barking and chases Dim and Wit around the stage

Dim & Wit
Aaahh!

Dim and Wit exit (SL) chased by Max.

Buttons enters (SR)

Buttons
Hiya kids! (audience respond) That was a close call back there. For lazy layabouts, those two can’t half run. They’ve put my Beauty Machine patent back years. I wouldn’t say they were ugly, but the last time they laid on a beach the tide went out and never came back.

Music cue 9: Dim and Wit re-enter (SL) still being chased by Max. 

Dim
Call it off!

Buttons
Here, Max!

Max stops and goes over to Buttons.

Buttons
Well done Max. It looks like you’ve nabbed a couple of burglars.

Dim
We’re not burglars, we’re handymen!

Buttons
A likely story.

Wit
(shows Buttons the ad) Look!

Buttons
It was supposed to say ‘handyman’ not ‘handymen’. (moves DS to audience) I was hoping nobody would apply, so I’d get the job instead. I’d better try and get rid of them. (to Dim & Wit) I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong place. Hardup Hall is in the next county.

Wit
But it says ‘Hardup Hall’ on the board, outside.

Buttons
The sign-writer was dyslexic. This is Harrod Hall.

Dim
(to Wit) Maybe we can get a job here instead. I’ve always fancied working at Harrods.

Buttons
You wouldn’t like working here.

Wit 
Why not?

Buttons
Because it’s…(looks around fearfully)…haunted.

Dim
H-h-haunted? (knees knock)

SFX: Wooden knocking sound.

Buttons
By the ghost of Baron Frankenstein.

Wit
Baron Frankenstein?

Buttons
Yes. He had a laboratory in the dungeons, where he built a horrible monster out of spare body parts. But it turned on him and ripped his head off. And ever since, the Baron’s headless ghost can be seen wandering the castle, looking for its missing bonce. The locals even made the legend into a song. Listen.

Music cue 10: Buttons and Chorus. (when music starts, Chorus enter from both sides dressed as ghosts or ghouls. Dim & Wit moves aside and cling to each other in fright) After song ends…Chorus exit.

Dim
(to Wit) Let’s get out of here!

Wit
Give over! It’s probably just servants in fancy-dress.

Buttons
Well don’t say I didn’t warn you. (exits SR)

Ghostly moans offstage.

Dim
Wh…wh…what was that?

Ghostly moan offstage.

Dim
It’s the headless ghost! (knees knock)

SFX: Wooden knocking sound.

Buttons enters (SR) dressed in a ghost outfit. 

Buttons
Whooo! Whooo!

Dim 
Gh-gh-ghost! Run for it!

Dim runs around stage pursued by Buttons. Wit stands his ground as they run round him. Second time round, Wit pulls the sheet off, revealing Buttons. He doesn’t realise the sheet has gone, and continues chasing Dim. On the third time round, Wit puts out his arm stopping Dim. Buttons runs on and bumps into Dim

Dim
Help! Mummy!

Wit
(shows Dim the sheet) Look here!

Dim turns and stares at Buttons. 

Buttons
(realises the sheet has gone) Trick or treat?

Dim
(rolling his sleeves up) I’ll give you trick or treat!

Buttons
How did you know I wasn’t a real ghost?

Wit
(points out ‘N.H.S’ letters printed on sheet) ‘Property of N.H.S’.

Buttons
Can’t you take a joke?

Dim
I didn’t find it very funny

Buttons
Neither did that lot…(indicates audience)…by the sounds of it.

SFX: Heavy footsteps accompanied by moaning.

Buttons
It’s the real ghost!

Wit
(sceptical) It sounds a bit heavy for a ghost.

Dim
Maybe he’s put on weight.

Grimelda enters (SL) flanked by the dishevelled Uglies. 

Dim & Wit
(huddling in fright) Arrggh!

Buttons
(to audience) They have that effect on everybody.

Bella
(screeches) Just look at us, Buttons!

Buttons
I’d rather not if you don’t mind.

Donna
You and your stupid machine!

Buttons
All great inventions experience some teething problems.

Bella
You’ll be experiencing teething problems when we get hold of you!

Uglies move forward, but stop when Grimelda spots Dim and Wit.

Grimelda
(pointing) Who are they?

Buttons
Oh…er…they’re travelling salesmen. (pushing them off) And they were just leaving.

Dim & Wit
We’re not…

Buttons
…Taking no for an answer. (to Grimelda) They’re all the same these salesmen. (to Dim & Wit) I suggest you try elsewhere.

Wit
All right! Just tell us the way to Hardup Hall and we’ll be on our way.

Donna
(puzzled) But this is Hardup Hall.

Dim
(indicates Buttons) He told us it was in the next county!

Buttons
Now why would I do that?

Grimelda
(gives Buttons the evil-eye) I wonder? (to Dim & Wit) What do you want?

Wit
We’re the new handymen.

Grimelda
I only wanted one handyman. I’m not paying for two.

Dim
We’re cheap.

Grimelda
How cheap?

Wit
Two for the price of one.

Grimelda
You’re hired. (to Buttons) And you’re fired!

Donna
About time, too.

Buttons
But I’m in the Dumps!

Bella
I would be, if I’d just been sacked.

Buttons
But that’s not fair. (to audience) Is it boys and girls? (audience respond)

Uglies
(to audience) Oh yes, it is!

Buttons
(encouraging audience) Oh no, it isn’t!

Grimelda
(to Buttons) According to your union, I only need to give you one week’s notice.

Buttons
I knew I should’ve stayed in Equity.

Donna
(to Buttons) You can work your notice and then get out.

Buttons hangs his head and begins to trudge off (SR) encouraging audience to sympathise with him as he exits.

Grimelda
(to Dim & Wit) Now then, gentlemen. What are you like at finding things?

Dim
(tapping his nose) I have a nose like a bloodhound.

Grimelda
I don’t care what you look like, just as long as you can find what I’m after.

Wit
Which is what, exactly?

Grimelda
My husband put the castle deeds somewhere for safekeeping, and now he can’t remember where.

Dim
Absent-minded, is he?

Grimelda
Yes, his mind’s not what it was I’m afraid

Wit
(indicating Dim) His is, I’m afraid.

Grimelda
Find the deeds before the day is out, and I’ll double your wages. Fail, and you’ll be sacked without a penny to come! (to Uglies) Come girls.

Grimelda and Uglies exit (SL)

Wit
(to Dim) Right Dim, you look under the beds and I’ll look in the wardrobes.

Dim
(scared) Can’t you look under the beds?

Wit
I knew you shouldn’t have watched ‘Monsters Inc’ last night.

Dim
I’m glad I did. I went straight out and bought a divan. I’d like to see any monsters squeeze underneath that.

Wit
I’d like to see an intelligent thought squeeze into your head. All right, I’ll look under the beds and you look in the wardrobes.

Dim
(even more scared) Ooohh!

Wit
What’s the matter now?

Dim
I once saw this film called ‘The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe’.

Wit
I can see you’re going to be a big help.

Dim
I don’t mind looking up the chimneys. I can’t see anything big and hairy hiding up there. Unless Santa’s got stuck.

Wit
(shoving him SL) Get going, before I stuff you up a chimney!

Dim and Wit exit (SL) 

Buttons enters (SR)

Buttons
(subdued) Hiya kids. (audience respond) I’ve just been online looking for another job, but nobody seems to be hiring butlers. If I don’t get another job soon, I’ll be out on the streets. (elicits sympathy) It’s sadder than that. (audience respond)

SFX: Doorbell. 

Grimelda
(off) Door, Buttons!

Buttons
All right, keep your hair on! (to audience) She can’t sack me twice, now can she? (opens door and Charming and Dandini enter) Prince Charming!

SFX: Sound of clattering feet. 

Uglies run on (SL) followed by Grimelda. The Uglies fight for pole position before curtsying in front of the Prince.

Uglies
Charmed to meet yoooou!

Bella
Hang on Donna…(pointing at audience)…they didn’t do it.

Donna
Prols, the lot of them.

Bella
(to audience) On your feet! It’s not every day you get to meet royalty. (leads them in greeting routine) And don’t forget next time.

Grimelda
Your highness, allow me to introduce my two beautiful daughters.

Charming
Certainly. (looks past Uglies) Where are they?

Uglies
Here we are Princey-wincey!

Charming
(startled) Oh!

Grimelda
As you can see, they are ladies of high refinement.

Bella
(grabs Charming) Where have you been all my life?

Dandini
Well for most of it he wasn’t born.

Donna
(shoves Bella aside) My name’s Donna! I’m the baby of the family!

Bella
(shoves Donna aside) I think your nappy needs changing!

Dandini
(to Prince) Let’s get out of here, quick!

Donna
And who are you?

Dandini
I’m Dandini.

Bella 
‘Dandini’! What kind of a name is that?

Donna
He sounds like an escapologist?

Dandini
I feel like escaping now that I’ve met you two.

Bella
You can push off anytime you like. We’re only interested in the Prince.

Buttons
Don’t you think you’re a bit too old for him?

Bella
Cheek! I’m only twenty-two.

Donna
That’s her dress size. (shoves Bella aside and grabs Charming) I must warn you, I am rather impulsive.

Bella
(shoves Donna aside) ‘Repulsive’ you mean. (flutters her eyes at Charming) People say I have eyes like limpet pools…

Donna
Cess pools more like.

Bella
…Teeth like stars.

Donna
They come out at night.

Bella
…And a magnetic personality.

Donna
She attracts scrap.

Bella
Okay Princey-poos, which one of us is it going to be?

Charming
Well I…

Donna
…Make your mind up, we haven’t got all day!

Grimelda
Give the Prince time, girls. It can’t be easy choosing between two such lovelies.

Buttons
(dryly) He’s spoilt for choice.

Dandini
(aside to Charming) It’s make your mind up time your highness.

Charming
You can’t be serious, Dandini!

Dandini
Deadly serious. Now are you going to run first, or shall I?

Charming
(to Dandini) Just hand out the invites to the royal ball.

Dandini
Yes, your highness. (starts handing out tickets)

Uglies
(exclaim) A royal ball?

Dandini
It’s been arranged in order for the Prince to pick his bride-to-be.

Bella
(to Prince) Can’t you just pick one of us now?

Charming
I’m afraid not.

Buttons
What about a ticket for Cinders?

Charming
‘Cinders’?

Grimelda
He means ‘Cinderella’ your highness. But you wouldn’t be interested in her.

Buttons
Oh yes, he would!

Uglies
Oh no, he wouldn’t!

Buttons
(leads audience) Oh yes, he would!

Uglies
Oh no, he wouldn’t!

Charming
I will be the judge of that. (to Buttons) Bring her here.

Buttons
Yes, your highness. (exits SR)

Grimelda
(to Uglies) Don’t worry girls, the Prince won’t be interested in that scruffy little minx.

Bella
Of course not. Why it’s laughable!

Donna
Daftable!

Bella
Preposterous!

Donna
Stupidoceros!

Bella
What are you doing?

Donna
I thought we were playing a rhyming game.

Charming
(to Dandini) How stupid.

Dandini
Cupid. (sheepish) Sorry your highness, I got carried away.

Buttons drags a reluctant Cinderella on (SR)

Cinderella
I can’t meet the Prince looking like this, Buttons!

Buttons
I’m sure he won’t mind, Cinders.

Cinderella straightens her clothes and curtsies. 

Cinderella
Forgive my appearance your highness, only I’ve just been cleaning out a fireplace.

Charming
There’s no need to apologise. I like girls who aren’t afraid of hard work.

Bella
(grabs Charming’s arm) Personally, I can’t get enough of it.

Donna
(grabs Charming’s other arm) Me neither.

Buttons
You two never lift a finger!

Bella
(raises a fist) How would you like me to lift a whole bunch of them?

Music cue 11: Max enters and fusses around charming.

Grimelda
Who let the mutt in?

Cinderella
(to Prince) I think he likes you.

Grimelda
I do apologise your highness. I’ll have him put down first thing in the morning.

Charming
(shocked) No, no I love dogs!

Cinderella
Max is a very clever dog, your highness. Show the Prince what you can do Max. Music cue 12: Max. After song ends…

Charming
That’s amazing! You must bring him with you to the royal ball.

Cinderella
Royal ball?

Charming
Yes. (hands her a ticket) Here is your ticket.

Cinderella
(delighted) Thank you, your highness!

Grimelda
(sneers) Don’t flatter yourself, he’s only interested in your freaky dog.

Charming
(waves to audience) Goodbye everyone! See you at the ball.

Charming and Dandini exit through door. 

Uglies
(calling after him) Bye Princey-poos!

Donna
We’ll try and make ourselves look even more gorgeous than we already are!

Bella
(swoons) What a hunk! The thought of dancing with him, makes me go weak in the knees. (legs buckle)

Donna
And the bladder by the looks of it.

Bella
I’m going to need a whole new outfit.

Donna
Don’t tell me you’ve wet yourself again?

Bella
(ignores Donna) And a new handbag and shoes.

Donna
I want something expensive and sparkly.

Grimelda
You can have whatever you want girls.

Bella
The Prince is sure to pick me.

Donna
No, me!

Bella
Me!

Donna
Me!

Buttons
What about Cinderella?

Grimelda 
(laughs) Don’t be ridiculous, Buttons. He wouldn’t look twice at her.

Buttons
Why not? She’s the prettiest one here.

Cinderella
Oh, you are sweet Buttons.

Uglies
(mocking) Oh, you are sweet Buttons.

Bella
Anybody would think he was made of chocolate.

Uglies
(turn to each other) Chocolate Buttons!

Uglies fall about laughing.

Cinderella 
I’m sure there’ll be much prettier girls than me at the ball, Buttons.

Uglies
(preening) You’d better believe it sister!

Grimelda
You won’t be going to the ball, Cinderella.

Cinderella
Why not?

Grimelda
Well just look at you. Dirty hair. (rags Cinder’s hair)

Donna
Ragged clothes! (pulls Cinder’s clothes)

Bella
No make-up! (pinches Cinder’s cheeks)

Cinderella
(cries) Owah!

Max stalks around the Uglies, growling.

Donna
Help! It’s foaming at the mouth!

Bella
It’s got rabies!

Cinderella
No, he hasn’t!

Grimelda
Buttons! Take that mutt away and book him into the vets!

Max stops and holds his paws over his vunerables. 

Cinderella
It’s all right Max, you can go with Buttons.

Buttons
Come along Max.

Buttons and Max exit (SR) 

Cinderella
(firmly) I’m going to the ball, and nothing will stop me.

Grimelda
I’d check the small print on your ticket if I were you.

Cinderella
(reads ticket) ‘Evening dress must be worn by all guests’. Thank goodness I still have that beautiful dress father bought me, for my last birthday.

Donna
That ugly old thing? We gave it away to a charity shop ages ago, didn’t we Bella?

Bella
Yes, we needed more room for all our designer dresses.

Cinderella
You had no right to give away my dress!

Bella
That’s not a very charitable attitude.

Cinderella
But it was a present from father!

Donna
It would only have gone to waste. You never get invited anywhere.

Cinderella
I’ve been invited to the royal ball haven’t I?

Bella 
Oh yes, so you have.

Donna
Pity you have nothing to wear.

Cinderella
But I can’t go to the royal party dressed in rags.

Bella
Exactly. So, you won’t be needing this. (snatches Cinder’s ticket) Add this up Donna. What do you get if you tear a ticket in half? (tears ticket) In half again? (tears ticket) And in half again? (tears ticket)

Donna
Er…eleventeen?

Bella
No…confetti! (throws pieces into the air)

Uglies laugh and Cinderella cries. 

Grimelda
(putting a hand on her shoulder) Don’t cry Cinders, we wouldn’t dream of leaving you here on your own.

Cinderella
(hopeful) You mean…?

Grimelda
Yes. As soon as the Prince marries one of my daughters, you can join us at the palace. (to Uglies) Right girls?

Donna
Yes, mumsy! I’m sure we’ll find her plenty of work to do.

Grimelda
(pushes Cinders aside) Now get on with your chores!

Grimelda and Uglies exit laughing (SL) lights Dim. Music cue 13: Cinderella. After song ends…Cinderella sits and sobs. 

Music cue 14: Fairy Godmother enters (SR) A spotlight follows her.

Fairy Snow
Why are you crying, Cinders?

Cinderella
(doesn’t look up) It’s because I can’t go to the royal ball.

Fairy Snow
(handing her a handkerchief) Here, dry your eyes.

Cinderella
(takes the handkerchief and looks up) Who are you?

Fairy Snow
I’m your Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella
(stands) My what?

Fairy Snow
Your Fairy Godmother. (waves her wand and lights come back up) That’s better. I don’t go in for the dramatic spotlight entrance myself, but they will insist on tradition.

Cinderella
Who are ‘they’?

Fairy Snow
The Grand Council of Elves and Fairies of course.

Cinderella
But I don’t understand.

Fairy Snow
Then let me explain. At birth, everybody is allocated a Fairy Godmother to watch over them and to help them in times of need.

Cinderella
Well right now I need all the help I can get.

Fairy Snow
Tell me Cinders. What is your dearest wish?

Cinderella
To go to the royal ball of course.

Fairy Snow
Didn’t you get a ticket?

Cinderella
Yes, but Bella and Donna tore it up.

Fairy Snow
Oh, that’s easily remedied. (produces another ticket) Here you are

Cinderella
Thank you. Oh, but I have no dress to wear. Only these horrible rags.

Fairy Snow
No problem. (waves her wand) Music cue 15:

A Small Fairy enters (SR) with a ballgown. She hands it to Cinders and exits.

Cinderella
It’s beautiful!

Fairy Snow
Now off you go to the ball.

Cinderella
(looking at her shoes) Oh, no!

Fairy Snow
What’s wrong now?

Cinderella
My shoes!

Fairy Snow
Mmmm. They’re not exactly party wear are they? (waves her wand) Music cue 16:

Small Fairy enters (SR) with glass slippers – hands them to Cinders and exits.

Fairy Snow 
Will those do?

Cinderella
They’re gorgeous! I only hope they fit.

Fairy Snow
Of course, they will.

Cinderella
But you don’t know my shoe-size.

Fairy Snow
I know everything about you, Cinders.

Cinderella
I still can’t go, I’m afraid.

Fairy Snow
Let me see now. You have your ticket?

Cinderella
Yes.

Fairy Snow
And your ballgown?

Cinderella
Yes.

Fairy Snow
And the glass slippers?

Cinderella
Yes.

Fairy Snow
Then I can’t think what else you need. (to audience) Can you think of anything else Cinders needs, boys and girls? (audience respond) What? Bus fare? Sat-nav? A coach? Of course! How forgetful of me.

Cinderella
My stepmother and sisters took the only carriage.

Fairy Snow
You don’t happen to have a pumpkin on you?

Cinderella
No, why?

Fairy Snow
Tradition again I’m afraid. Never mind, it’s not strictly necessary. (waves her wand)

Music cue 17: A horseless coach (see properties) enters (SL) or whichever side is practical.

Cinderella
It’s magnificent!

Fairy Snow
I could have conjured up a Rolls Royce but…

Cinderella
…Tradition?

Fairy Snow
You catch on fast.

Cinderella
But where are the horses?

Fairy Snow
Magic coaches don’t need horses to pull them. Besides, health and safety won’t allow animals on stage.

Cinderella
How can I ever thank you Fairy Godmother?

Fairy Snow
By going to the ball. Unless there’s something else I’ve overlooked?

Cinderella
No, everything’s just perfect.

Fairy Snow
Then why don’t you go and get changed, while some of my friends entertain your friends? (indicates audience)

Cinderella
All right. (waves to audience) See you soon everyone. (exits SR)

Fairy waves her wand and a group of Fairies enter (SL) Music cue 18: Fairies. After song ends… 

Cinderella enters (SR)

Fairy Snow
That’s much better. Everything fits I take it?

Cinderella
Perfectly thank you.

Fairy Snow
Off you go then. Oh, I almost forgot. At the stroke of the midnight the magic will be undone, and everything will revert to its former state. So, you must leave the ball before then.

Cinderella
I will, I promise. (climbs into the coach)

Cinderella and Fairy Snow waves her wand Music cue 19: