Beauty And The Beast Version 1

SCENE ONE

THE VILLAGE OF LE PETIT PAIN

Baguette’s bakery is [USR] and has a practical door. Music cue 2: Chorus. After song ends…

Enter Belle [SR] reading a book]

CHORUS: Good morning, Belle!

BELLE: [looking up] Good morning, everybody!

CHORUS 1: What book are you reading today, Belle?

BELLE: It’s called, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame.

CHORUS 2: What’s it about?

BELLE: It’s about a poor unfortunate man who is persecuted because of his appearance

CHORUS 3: People can be so cruel, can’t they?

Enter Gustave [SL]

BELLE: [glancing at Gustave] They certainly can.

CHORUS: It’s Gustave! [Girls gather around Gustave]

GUSTAVE: [posing] Feast your eyes, girls.

CHORUS 4: Have you got a partner for tonight’s village dance, Gustave?

GUSTAVE: No, but I’ll be choosing some lucky girl very soon.

GIRLS: Pick me, Gustave!

GUSTAVE: Sorry girls, you’ll just have to wait and see. Run along now, I wish to speak to Belle…alone.

Exit Girls, groaning.

BELLE: Make it quick Gustave. I have better things to do, than stand talking to you.

GUSTAVE: You’ll change your tune once you discover that you’re the lucky girl I’m taking to the village dance tonight.

BELLE: Well, this lucky girl is declining your invite.

GUSTAVE: You can’t be serious, Belle. Every girl in the village would jump at the chance of going to the dance with me.

BELLE: Then maybe you should ask one of them instead.

GUSTAVE: Why deny yourself Belle? We were meant for each other.

BELLE: I don’t think so Gustave. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve work to do at the bakery.

GUSTAVE: I hear you’re expecting a royal visitor today.

BELLE: Yes, Prince Louis is presenting father with an award for services to baking.

GUSTAVE: It would be a pity if anything were to happen to his precious bakery.

BELLE: What do you mean by that?

GUSTAVE: Accidents do happen Belle. Earthquake, flood…fire!

BELLE: That sounded like a threat, to me.

GUSTAVE: Nonsense, Belle.

BELLE: I won’t be blackmailed into going out with you, Gustave.

GUSTAVE: Blackmail’s a nasty word, Belle.

BELLE: A nasty word for a nasty man.

GUSTAVE: I’ll leave you to think about it and ask you again later.

BELLE: And the answer will be the same.

GUSTAVE: Then I suggest you think carefully before answering, next time. [exits SL]

BELLE: I could never go out with anybody as vain and nasty as Gustave.

Enter Crouton [SR] holding a large baguette.

CROUTON: Hiya, Belle!

BELLE: [downbeat] Hello Crouton.

CROUTON: What’s the matter, Belle? You look a bit down.

BELLE: Gustave’s asked me to the village dance and won’t take no for an answer.

CROUTON: He’s such a douche!

BELLE: It’s my father, I’m worried about.

CROUTON: Why? Doesn’t he have anybody to go with?

BELLE: No, it’s his bakery!

CROUTON: You’ve lost me now, Belle.

BELLE: I must warn father to be on his guard. [exits quickly into bakery]

CROUTON: Bye Belle! Hiya boys and girls! I’m Crouton, and I’m Baguette Bakery’s chief dough-boy. And boy do I need the dough. My finances are flatter than a soggy soufflé, and my baguette keeps going limp. [holds it up and it droops – see properties] See what I mean? I blame that new flour we’re using. It’s supposed to self-raising, but I keep having to pick it up myself. I’m also in love with Belle, but I’m not sure if she could ever fall for a dough-boy with a droopy baguette.

CANDEREL & NUTELLA: [singing off] Heeey, heey, baby!

CROUTON: That sounds like Mr Baguette’s stepdaughters, Canderel and Nutella. He inherited them after his second wife died. I wouldn’t say they were ugly, but yesterday, a peeping-tom knocked on the door and begged them to shut their bedroom curtains.

Enter Canderel and Nutella [SL] singing.

CANDEREL & NUTELLA: Ooh-aah! [pelvic thrusts]

NUTELLA: There’s nothing like some good hard pelvic thrusting to start the day off.

CANDEREL: It’s what keeps our bodies in such fantastic shape.

CROUTON: I can never work out what shape they’re meant to be.

NUTELLA: Watch it, dough-boy!

CANDEREL: [indicating audience] What are that lot doing here?

CROUTON: I think they’re here to meet Prince Louis.

NUTELLA: [quivers] Oooh! The thought of Louis makes me gooey.

CANDEREL: I’ll impress him with my enormous meringues. [hoists bosom]

NUTELLA: He’ll be knocked out by my big buns. [hoists bosom]

CANDEREL: Only if one falls on his head.

NUTELLA: My buns are not hard!

CANDEREL: Are so.

NUTELLA: Are not!

CANDEREL: Are so!

NUTELLA: Let’s not argue sis’ and introduce ourselves to the plebs.

CANDEREL: Okay, I’ll go first. [to audience] Hello plebs! I’m Canderel! And unlike my fat, sour-faced sister. I’m sweet and adorable, with a fabulous figure.

NUTELLA: I’m Nutella. And my sister’s been suffering from delusions, ever since her face got trampled by a herd of cows.

CANDEREL: [snaps] Cow!

NUTELLA: No, it was definitely more than one.

CANDEREL: [rolls sleeves up] That’s it sis’, prepare to be flattened!

NUTELLA: Bring it on!

They flap their arms at each other in mock fighting.