Alice In Wonderland


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Alice in Wonderland is a truly delightful panto, set in Lewis Carrol’s fantastical Wonderland and features many of the well-loved characters.

Wonderland is in danger from the nasty Knave of Spades, and can only be saved by a magical golden heart, supplied by the Wizard of Muddleup Wood. Cue Alice, who along with her mother and Wally the Joker come to the rescue. Featuring a slightly surreal and incredibly funny Mad Hatter’s tea-party, plus hilarious madcap antics curtesy of Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Not to mention the Queen of Hearts who is a cut above.

This panto has everything you would expect from the strange and fantastical world that is Alice in Wonderland.


12 principals plus a chorus with many speaking lines.


All our scripts have a runtime of approximately 2hrs (not including any interval) but this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.


Our pantomimes all come with a full, suggested songs, music cues and SFX list.


Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample




Mad Hatter
March Hare
Cheshire Cat
Dancers; Hippies; Soldiers; Wonderlanders; Mineworkers; etc.



Chorus are onstage. Music cue 1: Chorus. After song ends…

Enter Wally [SR]

WALLY: Hiya Folks! I say, I say! What’s big and wobbly and flies in the air? A jellycopter!

Chorus groan.

CHORUS 1: Give it a rest Wally.

WALLY: But it’s my job to get everybody in a happy mood, ready to cheer the Queen of Hearts when she arrives. If she doesn’t get the welcome she expects, she’ll have my head. Couldn’t you at least force a titter?

CHORUS 2: Sorry Wally, but we’ve heard all your jokes before.

CHORUS 3: [indicating audience] Yes, but this lot won’t have.

CHORUS 4: I wouldn’t bet on it.

WALLY: Listen folks, I’m Wally the Joker, and whenever I come on and shout, ‘hiya folks!’ I want you all to shout back, ‘tell us a joke you funny bloke,’ and I’ll tell you one of my brilliant jokes. Let’s have a practice then. [exits and re-enters] Hiya folks! Listen boys and girls, this is a panto so, you can be as loud as you like and nobody will tell you off, okay? Let’s try it again. [repeats business] Hiya folks! I don’t think the mums and dads were joining in, were they boys and girls? We’ll have one more go, and everybody join in this time. [repeats business] Hiya folks! I say, I say! My mum-in-law has just gone to Moscow.

CHORUS 5: Is she Russian?

WALLY: No, she’s taking her time! [laughs]

Chorus groan.

CHORUS 6: If that’s the best you can do Wally, you deserve to lose your head.

Exit Chorus [SL]

WALLY: They obviously don’t have a sense of humour. See you later folks! [exits SL]

Enter Alice, crawling on [SR]

ALICE: Mr Rabbit, where are you? [stands] Thank goodness I can stand again. That rabbit hole was very cramped. [gazes about] What a strange-looking place.

Enter Millie [SL]

MILLIE: There you are Alice!

ALICE: Mum! What are you doing here?

MILLIE: You’re late for your tea again.

SFX: Cartoon style running-whizzing sound.

Enter White Rabbit at a run [USL]

MILLIE: Oh look, it’s the Easter Bunny!

W. RABBIT: [stops and checks his watch] Aaaah! I’m still late for the royal wedding!

MILLIE: Another Royal wedding! Who’s getting married this time?

ALICE: The Princess of Hearts and the Prince of Diamonds.

MILLIE: Never heard of them, they must be minor royals.

W. RABBIT: I’m late! Goodbye! [exits SR]

ALICE: Wait Mr Rabbit! [exits after White Rabbit]

MILLIE: I’ve done chasing after Alice, who cares about a stuffy royal wedding anyway?

Music cue 2: Enter Knave of Spades [SL]

KNAVE: Did somebody mention a royal wedding?

MILLIE: I did, why?

KNAVE: So, who’s getting married then?

MILLIE: The Princess of Hearts and the Prince of Diamonds, apparently.

KNAVE: But I’m supposed to be marrying the Princess!

MILLIE: Are you the vicar then?

KNAVE: No! I should be the groom!

MILLIE: Jilted you did she?

KNAVE: The King of Hearts promised that Princess Ruby would marry me.

MILLIE: And who are you?

KNAVE: I’m the Knave of Spades.

MILLIE: I think you’ve been dealt a bum hand.

KNAVE: Yes, but I always come up trumps.

MILLIE: [wafting] I wondered what that rotten smell was.

Enter Alice [SR]

MILLIE: Did you manage to catch the White Rabbit, Alice?

ALICE: No mum, he was too fast for me.

KNAVE: I too seek the White Rabbit and I will pay a handsome reward to whoever helps me capture him.

MILLIE: He went that-a-way. [points SR]

KNAVE: Thanks! [exits at a run SR]

MILLIE: [shouts] Just make the cheque out to Millie!

ALICE: I wonder why he’s after the White Rabbit?

MILLIE: Who cares, Alice.

ALICE: I didn’t like the look of him mum.

MILLIE: I thought he was an ugly ner-do-well at first, until I noticed his better qualities.

ALICE: And when was that?

MILLIE: The moment he mentioned, ‘handsome reward.’

Music cue 3: Enter Dum and Dee [SL]

MILLIE: Eh-up! It’s the Chuckle Brothers.

DEE: [to Millie] Hello to you.

DUM: [to Alice] Hello to you.

DEE: [to Millie] Hello to you again.

DUM: We’ll introduce ourselves if we may.

DEE: Or if you like, we’ll go away.

DUM: I’m Tweedledum.

DEE: I’m Tweedledee.

DUM/DEE: And Tweedly twins are what we be.

DUM: [to Millie] Now who are you?

DEE: [to Alice] And who are you?

DUM: [to Millie] And who are you again?

MILLIE: [points to herself and Alice in turn] I’m me, that’s her, that’s her, I’m me. But I’m not her and she’s not me, I can be silly too you see.

DEE: And very well you do it too.