Aladdin Version 2 (Perusal)

Scene One

Town Square In Peking

Twankey’s Laundrette is (USR) a large laundry basket stands outside. Music cue 4: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus (USL)

Enter Widow Twankey (SL) carrying a shopping bag and singing.

TWANKEY: ‘Keep young and beautiful, it’s my duty to be beautiful…’ (to audience) Oh, hello! If I’d known we had visitors, I’d have worn my best frock. What am I saying? This is my best frock. I’m that poor, I get clothes parcels from Oxfam. I tried supplementing my income by taking a job as a contortionist, but I still couldn’t make ends meet. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Widow Twankey, and I run this laundrette with my two sons, Aladdin and Wishee Washee. One’s supposed to be helping me fetch the shopping this morning. I won’t tell you who, but I wish he, would hurry up! (laughs) Can you guess?

Enter Wishee (SR)

WISHEE: Hiya boys and girls! I’m Wishee Washee! Do you wanna be in my gang? Whenever I enter; I’ll shout wotcha gang! And you all shout back wotcha Wishee! Will you do that? Let’s have a practice then. (exits and re-enters) Wotcha gang! (looking out) Have they all gone home, mum?

TWANKEY: No, but they might as well, because it doesn’t get any better.

WISHEE: Let’s try it again. (repeats business) Wotcha, gang! That was much better!

TWANKEY: What time do you call this, Wishee?

WISHEE: Breakfast time?

TWANKEY: Try lunchtime.

WISHEE: Sorry mum, I overslept.

TWANKEY: You sleep more than a catatonic cat on tranquilisers. Anyway, now you’re here you can come food shopping with me.

WISHEE: We’re that poor, all you ever buy is baked beans and sprouts. If it weren’t for the musical evenings our diet provided, life could get quite boring. According to Jamie Oliver, I should be eating a balanced diet.

TWANKEY: You do eat a balanced diet.

WISHEE: How do you make that out?

TWANKEY: The sprouts on your plate weigh the same as the beans.

WISHEE: But I haven’t had breakfast yet!

TWANKEY: We’ll pop into that new Chinese-Italian place – Gino’s Hot Wok Pasta Bar.

WISHEE: Forget it, mum. I tried it once and came out hungrier than when I went in.

TWANKEY: How come?

WISHEE: Have you ever tried eating spaghetti with chopsticks? I ended up knitting myself a scarf.

Enter Aladdin at a run (SL)

ALADDIN: Help! I’m being chased by a lunatic!

WISHEE: Quick Aladdin, hide in the laundry basket!

ALADDIN: Thanks, Wishee! (climbs inside laundry basket)

Enter Merchant at a run (SL)

MERCHANT: (to Twankey) Where is Aladdin?

TWANKEY: What do you want with him?

MERCHANT: I asked him to look after my stall. And when I returned, the stall was empty and there was only fifty pence in the till!

TWANKEY: Well, he isn’t here.

MERCHANT: I’ll catch him if it’s the last thing I do. (exits SR)

WISHEE: (lifts basket lid) You can come out now, Aladdin.

ALADDIN: (climbing out) That was a close call.

TWANKEY: What have you been up to now, Aladdin?

ALADDIN: Bogof!

TWANKEY: I only asked!

ALADDIN: Bogof, means buy one get one free. Only I got a bit confused and put up a sign saying, BUY ONE AND GET THE REST FREE.

TWANKEY: If only you had the brains, you were born with Aladdin.

Enter Chorus (SL) chattering excitedly.

WISHEE: What’s all the excitement?

CHORUS 1: Princess Lychee is coming to Peking for a spot of royal shopping.

CHORUS 2: Apparently, she’s looking for a wedding dress.

ALADDIN: (aghast) The Princess is getting married!

WISHEE: Bad luck, Aladdin. We all know you fancied her.

TWANKEY: He never stood a chance there. (to Chorus) So, who’s she marrying then?

CHORUS 3: Won Hung Lo!

TWANKEY: I know. (adjusts bosom) I could do with those that lift and separate.

CHORUS 4: He’s the son of the Grand Khazi.

ALADDIN: Lychee can’t marry him!

CHORUS 5: She has no choice – her parents are arranging everything.

WISHEE: I’m glad I’m not royalty – I’d rather decide for myself who I marry.

TWANKEY: You’re never awake long enough to get married.

ALADDIN: I was hoping to marry Princess Lychee myself.

WISHEE: But you’ve never even seen her, Aladdin.

ALADDIN: No, but I’ve heard she’s the most beautiful girl in China. I’d risk anything to see her.

TWANKEY: Everybody knows its death for commoners to look upon the Princess.

WISHEE: Royal walkabouts must be quiet affairs then. Music cue 5:

KUNG & FU: (shouts off) Clear the streets on pain of death!

ALADDIN: It sounds like the royal party are on their way!

TWANKEY: Then we’d better scarper, quick!

Exit all (SR) Aladdin hangs behind and climbs into the laundry basket.

Enter Kung and Fu (SL) brandishing truncheons.

FU: Look out – look out!

KUNG: Mind what you do!

FU: Or the Peking police will come for you!

KUNG: We’re the toughest coppers you’ll ever meet!

FU: Now, hurry up and clear the street!

KUNG: Our duties are conducted with rigorous pride!

FU: And if you misbehave, you’ll be quick stir-fried!

KUNG: My name’s Kung!

FU: And my name’s Fu!

KUNG & FU: And we’ll give you a taste of the old one two! Music cue 6: (mock fighting)

Enter Man at a run (SL)

MAN: Please help me, officers!

KUNG: What seems to be the trouble, sir?

MAN: I need to find a chemist, quick!

FU: What for?

MAN: A bee’s just stung me on the finger!

FU: Which one?

MAN: I don’t know – they all look the same to me!

FU: Buzz off! (hits him with truncheon)

Exit Man (SR)

Enter Woman 1 (SL)

WOMAN 1: Pardon me, officers.

KUNG: Yes, madam?

WOMAN 1: Could you tell me the name of the road where Poundland is?

FU: (thinking) Don’t tell me, the name’s on the tip of my tongue.

WOMAN 1: Stick your tongue out then.

FU: What for?

WOMAN 1: So I can see the name of the road.

KUNG: (prods her with truncheon) On your way, missus.

Woman 1 exits (SR)

Enter Woman 2 (SL)

FU: Excuse me madam, but would you mind accompanying us to the station?

WOMAN 2: Whatever for officer?

KUNG: It’s in a rough area and we’re scared to go on our own.

WOMAN 2: Get lost – wusses! (exits SR)

Enter Young Boy (SL) wearing shorts.

BOY: (to Fu) Please sir, can you tell me where I can buy some long pants?

FU: How long do you want them?

BOY: From October to March. (laughs)

KUNG: Who taught you to be cheeky?

BOY: Nobody – I’m self-taught.

FU: Here’s another lesson for you. (hits Boy with truncheon)

BOY: Owah! (wails) I’ll tell mum on you!

FU: While you’re at it, tell her I’ll be late home for tea.

BOY: Okay, dad. (exits SL)

Enter Khazi (SR)

KHAZI: Make way for their Imperial Majesties!

Music cue 7: Enter Emperor and Empress (SR)

EMPRESS: Where are all our subjects?

KHAZI: I had them cleared them from the streets as usual, your majesty.

EMPEROR: Well, bring them back – we have an important announcement to announce!

KHAZI: Yes, sire. Citizens of Peking! Draw near and listen to your beloved Emperor!

Enter Chorus (SL)

EMPEROR: Loyal objects! We wish to announce the forthcoming marriage of the Princess Lychee.

EMPRESS: Her wedding day, will be a public holiday!

CHORUS: Hooray!

KHAZI: But it will be unpaid.

CHORUS: Boo!

EMPEROR: There will be a big party in the palace grounds!

CHORUS: Hooray!

KHAZI: But none of you are invited.

CHORUS: Boo!

EMPRESS: The pubs will stay open all day!

CHORUS: Hooray!

KHAZI: But we’ve doubled prices to pay for the royal wedding.

CHORUS: Boo!

EMPEROR: Princess Lychee will be visiting Peking shortly.

CHORUS: Hooray!

KHAZI: But nobody can look at her.

CHORUS: Boo!

General murmuring amongst Chorus.

EMPRESS: The crowd are getting restless, dear. Let’s leave before they turn ugly.

KHAZI: Some looked ugly to start with, your majesty.

EMPEROR: Princess Lychee’s entourage will be arriving shortly, Khazi. Make sure the streets are cleared of commoners.

KHAZI: Yes, your majesty.

EMPRESS: Come along, dear.

Exit Emperor and Empress (SL)

KHAZI: Kung and Fu! Clear this rabble from the streets, immediately!

KUNG & FU: (herding Chorus off SR) Clear the streets! Clear the streets!

CHORUS 1: Make your minds up then!CHORUS 2:Talk about police harassment!

Exit Chorus (SL) Followed by Kung and Fu and the Khazi.

LYCHEE: (shouts off) Hurry Peekaboo!

Enter Princess Lychee at a run (SL) followed by Peekaboo.

PEEKABOO: What’s the rush your highness?

LYCHEE: I wanted to get here before they cleared the streets, but it’s too late.

PEEKABOO: Why do you want to mix with lots of strange people?

LYCHEE: I don’t want to mix with strange people, Peekaboo – just normal ones.

PEEKABOO: You can mix with normal people at the palace.

LYCHEE: Nothing at the palace is normal, Peekaboo. I’m a virtual prisoner there – and now I’m being forced to marry someone I don’t love.

PEEKABOO: You mean, Won Hung Lo?

LYCHEE: Yes, and he doesn’t love me either.

PEEKABOO: He said as much, did he?

LYCHEE: Come, Peekaboo. It’s obvious that you and Won Hung love one another.

PEEKABOO: It’s true your highness – but I fear we can never be together. (cries)

LYCHEE: Don’t cry, Peekaboo. There must be a way out of this predicament.

PEEKABOO: But what, your highness?

LYCHEE: I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll think of something. Now run along and touch up your makeup, your mascara’s running.

PEEKABOO: Yes, your highness. (exits SL)

ALADDIN: (throws open basket and stands) Hello Princess!

LYCHEE: (startled – steps back) Oh!

ALADDIN: (climbing out) I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.

LYCHEE: Who are you – and what are you doing hiding in that basket?

ALADDIN: My name’s Aladdin. And I hid in there, to see if you really are as beautiful as everybody says.

LYCHEE: I see – and?

ALADDIN: You’re not.

LYCHEE: (taken aback) Oh!

ALADDIN: You’re much more beautiful.

LYCHEE: You flatter me Aladdin. But you have taken a great risk. If you’re caught, my father will have you executed.

ALADDIN: It was worth the risk.

LYCHEE: Aren’t you afraid of death?

ALADDIN: (boldly) I’m afraid of nothing, Princess!

LYCHEE: Oh, Aladdin. It’s so nice to meet an ordinary person for a change.

ALADDIN: I’m not sure I like being called ordinary, your highness.

LYCHEE: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean – it’s just that most people at the palace are the opposite of ordinary – especially my parents.

ALADDIN: Is it true that you’re about to be married, your highness?

LYCHEE: It’s true that my parents are trying to force me to marry someone I don’t love.

ALADDIN: Nobody should be forced to marry against their will.

LYCHEE: I’m sure you’re free to fall in love and marry whoever you chose, Aladdin.

ALADDIN: The falling in love bit’s easy – it’s the marrying bit that’s hard.

LYCHEE: It sounds like you’ve already fallen in love with someone, Aladdin.

ALADDIN: Indeed I have, your highness.

LYCHEE: (disappointed) I see.

ALADDIN: Do you believe in love at first sight, Princess?

LYCHEE: Why do you ask?

ALADDIN: What would you say, if I told you that I’d fallen madly in love with you?

LYCHEE: I’d say, I’ve never believed in love at first sight – until now.

ALADDIN: All my life I’ve dreamed of this moment, Lychee.

LYCHEE: Then we’ve both had the same dream, Aladdin. Music cue 8: Lychee and Aladdin. After song ends…

SFX: Police whistles.

ALADDIN: It sounds like they’re playing my tune.

LYCHEE: You must leave, Aladdin – you risk your life being here.

ALADDIN: I’d risk anything to be with you Lychee.

LYCHEE: And I’d give up everything to be with you, Aladdin.

ALADDIN: Would you even consider marrying me?

LYCHEE: Yes, but father won’t allow me to marry anyone who isn’t rich.

ALADDIN: Then I will go and make my fortune and return for you.

SFX: Police whistles.

LYCHEE: Hurry Aladdin they’re almost here!

Aladdin moves closer to wing (SR)

Enter Kung and Fu (SL) blowing whistles.

KUNG: Aladdin Twankey! You’re under arrest for gazing upon the Princess’s face!

ALADDIN: And very nice it was too. Goodbye Lychee – I shall return! (exits SR)

FU: Stop in the name of the law!

Exit Kung and Fu at a run (SR)

LYCHEE: (shouts) Run Aladdin!

Enter Peekaboo (SL)

PEEKABOO: I’m back, Princess! Anything interesting happen while I was gone?

LYCHEE: Yes! I met a handsome boy called Aladdin – we instantly fell in love, and now he’s being chased by the police.

PEEKABOO: You’re kidding me – right?

LYCHEE: No, Peekaboo!

PEEKABOO: Then let’s hurry to the place and you can tell me all about it!

Exit Lychee and Peekaboo (SL)