Aladdin Version 2

SCENE ONE

OUTSIDE TWANKEY’S LAUNDRETTE

Twankey’s Laundrette front is [USR] a large laundry basket stands outside. Music cue 4: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus [USL]

Enter Widow Twankey [SL] singing.

TWANKEY: Keep young and beautiful, it’s my duty to be beautiful…Oh, hello! I’ve just been to the hairdressers because my hair needed doing badly. I think they’ve managed that all right, so I won’t be using them again. If I’d known we had visitors, I’d have worn my best frock. What am I saying? This is my best frock. I’m that poor, I get clothes parcels from Oxfam. I tried supplementing my income by taking a job as a contortionist, but I still couldn’t make ends meet. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Widow Twankey, and I run this laundrette with my two sons, Aladdin and Wishee Washee.

Enter Wishee from laundrette – he comes downstage.

WISHEE: Hiya boys and girls! I’m Wishee Washee! Do you wanna be in my gang? Whenever I enter and shout wotcha gang! You all shout back wotcha Wishee! Will you do that? Let’s have a practice then. [exits and re-enters] Wotcha gang! Have they all gone home, mum?

TWANKEY: No, but they might as well because it doesn’t get any better.

WISHEE: Let’s try it again. [repeats business] Wotcha, gang! That was much better!

TWANKEY: What time do you call this, Wishee?

WISHEE: Breakfast time?

TWANKEY: Try lunchtime instead.

WISHEE: Sorry mum, I overslept.

TWANKEY: You sleep more than a catatonic cat. Anyway, now you’re here you can come food shopping with me.

WISHEE: Huh! We’re that poor, all you ever buy is baked beans and sprouts. I should be eating a balanced diet, mum.

TWANKEY: You do eat a balanced diet.

WISHEE: How do you make that out?

TWANKEY: The sprouts on your plate weigh the same as the baked beans.

WISHEE: If it weren’t for the musical evenings our diet provided, life could get boring.

TWANKEY: Stop complaining and let’s go.

WISHEE: But I haven’t even had breakfast yet!

TWANKEY: I’ll buy us lunch at that Chinese-Italian place. Gino’s Hot Wok Pasta Bar.

WISHEE: Forget it mum. I tried there once and came out hungrier than when I went in.

TWANKEY: How come?

WISHEE: Have you ever tried eating spaghetti with chopsticks? I nearly ended up knitting myself a sweater.

Enter Aladdin at a run [SL]

ALADDIN: Help! I’m being chased by a lunatic!

WISHEE: Quick Aladdin, hide in the laundry basket!

ALADDIN: Thanks, Wishee! [climbs inside laundry basket]

Enter Chorus Member at a run [SL]

CHORUS M: All right, where is?

TWANKEY: Who?

CHORUS M: Aladdin! I asked him to look after my stall, and when I returned, the stall was empty and there was only fifty pence in the till!

TWANKEY: We haven’t seen him all morning.

CHORUS M: I’ll find him if it’s the last thing I do. [exits SR]

WISHEE: [lifts basket lid] You can come out now, Aladdin.

ALADDIN: [climbing out] That was a close call.

TWANKEY: What have you been up to now, Aladdin?

ALADDIN: Bogof!

TWANKEY: How dare you speak to your mother like that!

WISHEE: Bogof means buy one get one free, mum.

ALADDIN: Yes, but I got confused and put up a sign saying, buy one get the rest free.

TWANKEY: If only you had the brains, you were born with Aladdin.

Enter Chorus [SL] chattering excitedly.

WISHEE: What’s all the excitement?

CHORUS 1: Princess Lychee is coming to Peking for a spot of royal shopping.

CHORUS 2: Apparently, she’s looking for a wedding dress.

ALADDIN: [shocked] The Princess is getting married!

WISHEE: Bad luck Aladdin, plenty more fish in the sea.

TWANKEY: He never stood a chance there Wishee. So, who’s she marrying then?

CHORUS 3: Won Hung Lo!

TWANKEY: I know. [adjusts bosom] I could do with those that lift and separate.

CHORUS 4: He’s the son of the Grand Khazi.

ALADDIN: Lychee can’t marry him!

CHORUS 5: She has no choice. Her father the Emperor is arranging everything.

WISHEE: I’m glad I’m not royalty. I’d rather decide for myself who I marry.

TWANKEY: You’re never awake long enough to get married.

ALADDIN: I was hoping to marry Princess Lychee myself one day.

WISHEE: But you’ve never even seen her, Aladdin.

TWANKEY: And a good job too. Everybody knows its death for commoners to look upon the Princess.

WISHEE: Royal walkabouts must be quiet affairs then. Music cue 5:

ALADDIN: I hear she’s the most beautiful girl in China, and I’d risk anything to see her.

KUNG & FU: [shouts off] Clear the streets on pain of death!

WISHEE: It sounds like the royal party are on their way!

TWANKEY: We’d better scarper, boys!

Exit Wishee and Twankey inside, but Aladdin hangs behind and climbs inside the laundry basket and shuts the lid.

Enter Kung and Fu [SL] brandishing truncheons.

FU: Look out, look out!

KUNG: Mind what you do!

FU: Or the Peking police will come for you!

KUNG: We’re the toughest coppers you’ll ever meet!

FU: So, hurry up and clear the street!

KUNG: Our duties are conducted with rigorous pride!

FU: And if you misbehave, you’ll be quick stir-fried!

KUNG: My name’s Kung!

FU: And my name’s Fu!

KUNG & FU: And we’ll give you a taste of the old one two! Music cue 6: [mock fighting]