Aladdin Version 1

SCENE ONE

OUTSIDE TWANKEY’S LAUNDRETTE

Music cue 3: Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus [SR]

Enter Wishee [SL] dragging on a laundry basket.

WISHEE: Hiya boys and girls! I’m Wishee Washee, and I work here at Twankey’s Laundrette – mostly on my own. My brother Aladdin is more interested in chasing girls, than profits. And mum spends more time seeking suitors, than pressing suits. So, I’ve bought myself a high-tech, time and motion machine off Amazon, which will record everybody’s movements throughout the day and prove who does the most work. I’ll just fetch it in. [exits and returns with machine] Now, this is a very expensive piece of kit, and I don’t want anybody messing about with it. So, I’m wondering if you would you mind keeping an eye on it for me? Well, will you? Thanks. [places machine DSR in front of main curtains] If anybody goes near it, just shout red alert! And see what happens.

Enter Aladdin at a run [SL]

ALADDIN: Wishee, you’ve got to help me!

WISHEE: What’s going on, Aladdin?

ALADDIN: I’m being chased and need somewhere to hide, quick!

WISHEE: Who’s after you this time? A furious father, a mortified mother, or some girl you promised the earth and gave the elbow?

ALADDIN: It’s the police!

WISHEE: What have you been up to Aladdin?

ALADDIN: I haven’t got time to explain Wishee, they’ll be here at any minute!

SFX: Police whistle.

WISHEE: Hide inside the laundry basket. [opens lid]

ALADDIN: Thanks, Wishee. [climbs inside and shuts lid]

Enter Tai and Chi at a run [SL] blowing whistles.

WISHEE: Eh-up! It’s Tai and Chi, the wrong arm of the law.

CHI: Have you seen your brother, Aladdin?

WISHEE: Of course I’ve seen him, we live in the same house.

CHI: I meant, in the past five seconds.

WISHEE: No, officers. What do you want him for anyway?

TAI: He insulted me whilst on duty.

WISHEE: And how exactly did he insult you?

TAI: He asked if I knew the time and when I said, yes thanks, he called me an idiot!

WISHEE: I can’t imagine why. Anyway, I thought you could ask a police officer anything.

CHI: You can.

WISHEE: Then maybe you can tell me how to stop some bloke canoodling with his girlfriend, underneath my window every night.

CHI: That’s easy. Just go up to him and say, excuse me sir, but isn’t that your wife coming up the road?

WISHEE: And that’ll make him stop, will it?

CHI: Well, it certainly stopped me. [laughs]

WISHEE: I didn’t realise the police had a sense of humour.

CHI: Oh, yes. Give him another sample, Constable Tai.

TAI: She was only a constable’s daughter, but she let the chief inspector. [laughs]

WISHEE: Repeating old jokes like that ought to be a criminal offence.

CHI: Maybe Aladdin’s hiding in that laundry basket Constable Tai.

TAI: I’d better check it out. [goes to lift lid]

WISHEE: [holding lid down] You don’t want to look in there, officer.

TAI: Why not?

WISHEE: Because it’s full of dirty, stinky, smelly old laundry.

CHI: [suspicious] It sounds like you have something to hide.

WISHEE: Not me officer. I’m as honest as the day is long.

TAI: Days are short this time of year. Open it Constable Chi.

WISHEE: You’ll be sorry.

CHI: [lifts lid] Phwoar! [slams it shut] What a pong! It smells like a student’s bedsit. Anybody hiding in there would be dead within seconds.

TAI: Let’s go Chi, or we’ll be late for escorting the Princess Jasmine.

CHI: [to Wishee] Tell Aladdin we’re hot on his trail.

TAI: And we always get our man.

CHI: [spots machine] Hello, what’s this? [touches it]

MACHINE: Warning! Unauthorised handling! This unit will self-destruct in ten seconds! Nine-eight-seven…

TAI & CHI: [face each other] Run!

Exit Tai and Chi at a run [SL]

MACHINE: Six-five…unit resetting!

WISHEE: You can come out now, Aladdin, they’ve gone.

ALADDIN: [climbs out wearing a large clothes-peg on his nose] Phew! What a stink! It’s lucky I found this clothes peg, Wishee.

WISHEE: Never mind that, Aladdin, and tell me what you’ve doing all morning.

ALADDIN: Running away from the police mostly.

WISHEE: You were supposed to be helping me fetch this heavy laundry basket from Peking Monastery, and I had to drag it all the way here on my own.

ALADDIN: I sometimes wish mother didn’t have a contract with those monks.

WISHEE: Why not?

ALADDIN: They have some very dirty habits.

WISHEE: If this washing isn’t done, by the time mum gets home, she’ll blow her top.

ALADDIN: You worry too much Wishee.

WISHEE: And you’re the main cause of it!

ALADDIN: How?

WISHEE: Because you’re always skiving off work and chasing after girls.

ALADDIN: Do I detect a hint of jealousy Wishee?

WISHEE: I’m not jealous of you, Aladdin, I’m mad at you!

ALADDIN: One day I’ll make my fortune, and then our family need never work again.

WISHEE: You never worked to begin with, but that’s about to change

ALADDIN: What do you mean Wishee?

WISHEE: [shows machine] Meet my automatic monitoring machine.

ALADDIN: What’s it monitoring?

WISHEE: You for starters. It’ll ensure that you do your fair share and stop me worrying.

ALADDIN: Cheer up Wishee, things could be worse.

WISHEE: How?

ALADDIN: The washing machine could break down.

WISHEE: Don’t jinx it Aladdin. I don’t fancy washing people’s unmentionables by hand.

TWANKEY: [off] Yoo-hoo! Mummy’s home!

ALADDIN: Speaking of unmentionables.

Enter Twankey [SL] with several boxes of washing powder.