SCENE ONE
MUNCHKINLAND
Lights up, revealing side of a house protruding from wing [USL] Legs wearing striped socks and Ruby Slippers poke out from underneath.
Enter Munchkins cautiously [SR]
MUNCHKIN 1: Look! A house has dropped right on top of Morag the Witch!
MUNCHKIN 2: Then she won’t be bothering us anymore.
MUNCHKINS: Hooray! Music cue 2: Munchkins. After song ends…
MUNCHKIN 3: Let’s go and tell Glinda the good news!
Exit Munchkins [SR]
Enter Skeeter from the house.
SKEETER: Howdy, folks!
DOROTHY: [off] What’s it like outside, Skeeter?
SKEETER: It’s indescribable, Dorothy! I think we might’ve died and gone to heaven.
Enter Aunt Em and Dorothy, who now wears ruby slippers.
AUNT EM: What are you talking about, Skeeter? ‘Ere! Where’s my farm gone?
SKEETER: I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore, Emily.
DOROTHY: Gosh, Toto, we must be over the rainbow, just like I wished!
Music cue 3: Enter Glinda [SR] followed by Munchkins.<.u>
SKEETER: It’s an angel!
AUNT EM: [wails] We really are dead!
SKEETER: Look on the bright side, Emily. At least we’re not…[pointing]…down there.
DOROTHY: You mean, Australia?
SKEETER: No, the other place.
AUNT EM: That’s probably even hotter than Australia.
GLINDA: You’re not dead; you are in the wonderful land of Oz. [pointing her wand at Dorothy] You, girl! Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?
DOROTHY: I’m not a witch at all, I’m Dorothy Gale! This is my Aunt Em, and this is Skeeter.
AUNT EM: And we’re not witches either.
GLINDA: The Munchkins said a new witch had just dropped a house on Morag the Wicked Witch of the East. [pointing] There she is, and here you are.
Dorothy and Co turn and see Morag’s legs.
DOROTHY: Oh, my! It was an accident, honest!
SKEETER: We didn’t mean to drop a house on your friend.
AUNT EM: It was the wind wot did it.
GLINDA: Morag wasn’t my friend; she was my sworn enemy. I’m Glinda the Good Witch of the North, and you have made the Munchkins very happy.
SKEETER: What are Munchkins?
GLINDA: [indicating] These are Munchkins, and they would like to thank you for ridding them of Morag.
Three Munchkins step forward. Munchkin 3 has a flower bouquet.
MUNCHKIN 1: We thank you very sweetly for doing it so neatly.
MUNCHKIN 2: You’ve killed her so completely.
MUNCHKIN 3: That we thank you very sweetly. [hands bouquet to Dorothy]
GLINDA: Let the joyous news be spread,
The wicked old witch is dead!
MUNCHKINS: Music cue 4: Munchkins.
#Ding-dong, the witch is dead.
Which old witch?
The wicked witch!
Ding-dong, the wicked witch is dead.
Wake up, you sleepyhead.
Rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the wicked witch is dead# After song ends…
Enter Mayor, Coroner and Barrister.
MAYOR: As Mayor of Munchkinland, I welcome you most regally. The coroner will now examine Morag to verify that she is absolutely.
CORONER: Positively.
MAYOR: Physically.
BARRISTER: Undeniably.
CORONER:And reliably.
COR/MA/BAR: Dead!
Coroner examines Morag, then unrolls a scroll and sings or speaks.
CORONER: #In my capacity as coroner.
I have thoroughly examined her.
And she’s not only merely dead.
She’s really, most sincerely dead.#
Three little Ballerinas dance forward on their points – singing.
BALLERINAS: #We represent the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League. And in the name of the Lullaby League. We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland# [move back to their starting point]
Three little Toughs swagger forward, all holding lollipops, singing.
TOUGHS: #We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild. And in the name of the Lollipop Guild. We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland# [one presents a lollipop to Aunt Em]
AUNT EM: No thanks, I’m watching my figure.
SKEETER: [aside] Watching it expand, that is.
SFX: Stage flash.
Enter Grotbag [SL] Munchkins draw back murmuring.
MUNCHKINS: The bad witch! The bad witch!
SKEETER: [to Glinda] I thought you said the bad witch was dead.
GLINDA: This is Morag’s sister Grotbag, the Wicked Witch of the West, and she’s much worse than Morag.
GROTBAG: Where is my sister, Morag? [to Aunt Em] Have you seen her?
AUNT EM: What does she look like?
GROTBAG: She’s tall and beautiful, with long red hair, and she’s very…
SKEETER: Flat.
GROTBAG: How dare you! My sister isn’t fat!
SKEETER: I said ‘flat’, not fat.
GROTBAG: Flat! What are you talking about?
