Sinbad The Sailor (Perusal)

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Perusal

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Description

Synopsis:

Sinbad the Sailor returns from his latest voyage, bearing not treasure as his poor mother had hoped. But a magic sword, he is convinced will make his fortune. His mother is facing eviction by her landlord and in order to placate her, Sinbad visits the Bazaar to buy her a present. There he meets and falls in love with Princess Yasmin, but the jealous Vizier frames Sinbad as a thief and he is taken before the Sultan. However, Fairy Seaweed intervenes and helps Sinbad and Yasmin run away to sea where many adventures await them, including meeting King Neptune.

Roles:

10 principals plus several small speaking roles and cameos, a chorus with some speaking lines and a camel.

Runtime:

All of our scripts have a runtime of under 2hrs (not including any interval) But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.

Music:

All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:

Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample

Characters

Sinbad
Dame Drachma
Ali
Princess Yasmin
Rose
Vizier
Sultan
Sultana
Kumquat
Fairy Seaweed

Chorus/Minor roles

Captain
Humpy The Camel
Police Officer
King Neptune
Queen Pearl
Abu
High Priest
Landlord
Davy Jones
Sailors; Guards; Harem; Mermaids; Islanders; etc.

Scene One

The Market Place In Old Tangiers

Music cue 1: Chorus. After song ends…Chorus mill around stalls.

Enter Ali (SR)

ALI: Hello folks, and welcome to old Tangiers! My name’s Ali – no, not Ali Baba, that’s a completely different panto – and I love making new friends, so every time I come and shout hiya kids! I want you all to shout back, hiya Ali let’s get pally! Will you do that? Let’s try it then. (exits and re-enters) Hiya kids! That wasn’t very loud was it? Let’s try it again and this time I want you to raise the roof. (repeats business) That was fantastic!

Enter Dame Drachma (SL) pulling on a rope leading off into the wing.

DRACHMA: (straining on the rope) Move your lazy carcass, you cantankerous camel!

ALI: What’s up mum?

DRACHMA: (turns) There you are, Ali! I’ve looked everywhere for you.

ALI: You can’t have done, mum.

DRACHMA: Why can’t I?

ALI: Because you didn’t look where I was.

DRACHMA: I always knew you’d be an awkward child. Even before you were born you gave me nothing but trouble. I said to the Doctor. Doctor, every morning I get up suffering from terrible morning sickness. What do you suggest I do?

ALI: And what did he suggest?

DRACHMA: He suggested I get up in the afternoon.

ALI: You can’t blame me for making you sick before I was born, mum.

DRACHMA: No, but you didn’t have to carry it on afterwards. Now, help me shift Humpy.

ALI: Leave him to me, mum. Here Humpy I’ve got a nice sugar lump for you.

Enter Humpy at a run (SL) the rope goes slack and Drachma to falls over.

DRACHMA: (stands) You did that on a purpose you devious dromedary! If you don’t start pulling your weight around here soon, it’s the Kit-e-Kat factory for you.

ALI: You can’t sell Humpy to the Kit-e-Kat factory, mum!

DRACHMA: Why can’t I?

ALI: Because I promised first refusal to the glue factory.

DRACHMA: I’m seriously considering getting another camel, Ali.

Humpy whispers to Ali.

ALI: Humpy says, can you get a female camel?

DRACHMA: Forget it Humpy. What you’re thinking is impossible.

ALI: Why is it, mum?

DRACHMA: Because Ali…(whispers)

ALI: I don’t remember you taking him to the vet’s. (Humpy crosses his back legs) I think it’s a bit too late for that, Humpy.

DRACHMA: (Humpy bashes her) All right, there’s no need take the hump. (laughs) Take the hump?

ALI: Don’t worry Humpy, what you’ve never used you’ll never miss.

DRACHMA: And you should know. Anyway, I’m thinking of replacing Humpy, not bringing in a second camel.

Humpy whispers to Ali.

ALI: I don’t blame you, Humpy.

Exit Humpy (SR)

DRACHMA: Where’s he going now, Ali?

ALI: He’s off to The Bent Turban, to drown his sorrows.

DRACHMA: He reminds me of your father. He spent more time in there than his own home.

ALI: I never knew dad. What was he like, mum?

DRACHMA: He was an able seaman, like your brother Sinbad. Although not as able as I’d hoped. It was a whirlwind romance. I was in a whirl, and he had wind. On our wedding night, I asked if he’d carry me over the threshold. And he replied, where am I going to get a forklift at this time of night? After you were born, he went back to sea. But then his ship sank in a terrible storm, with no survivors. Leaving me to bring up two sons, alone. And it hasn’t been easy. Things got that bad I ended up seeing a psychiatrist and told him I was feeling suicidal.

ALI: And what did he say?

DRACHMA: He told me to pay in advance.

ALI: It’s sad to think of poor dad, lying somewhere on the seafloor.

DRACHMA: He was used to lying on the floor. Mostly outside The Bent Turban. Still, life goes on. And it would be a whole lot easier if you got yourself a job.

ALI: I have looked, mum.

DRACHMA: Well try looking a bit harder.

ALI: How come you don’t go on at Sinbad about getting a job?

DRACHMA: He already has a job, sailing the world seeking fame and fortune.

ALI: Well, he must be looking for it in all the wrong places.

DRACHMA: At least Sinbad brings me back some nice prezzies from his travels.

ALI: So do I!

DRACHMA: Name one thing you’ve brought me back, Ali.

ALI: I brought you back that nice present from Blackpool, remember?

DRACHMA: I remember. It was a stick of rock with Blickpool, running all the way through it.

ALI: It’s hardly my fault they had a dyslexic letterer.

DRACHMA: You don’t know what good hard work is.

ALI: No – what good is it?

DRACHMA: Listen – hard work never killed anybody.

ALI: Well, I don’t want to risk being its first victim.

DRACHMA: There’s not much chance of that. The last job you had, was milk monitor.

ALI: I loved that job, and then you made me give it up.

DRACHMA: There was a good reason for that, Ali.

ALI: What good reason was that then?

DRACHMA: You were twenty-two and could barely fit in your school shorts!

ALI: I could’ve bought bigger shorts.

DRACHMA: Why can’t you go to sea like Sinbad, instead of getting under my feet all day?

ALI: You know I suffer from seasickness, mum.

DRACHMA: What are you talking about? You’ve never been to sea in your life.

ALI: I know, but just thinking about it makes me sick. (looking off SL) Look out mum, here comes our landlord.

DRACHMA: I wonder what he wants this time?

ALI: At a wild guess, I’d say he wants his rent.

DRACHMA: He can want all he likes, because I’m skint.

Enter Landlord (SR)

LANDLORD: Dame Drachma. I’ve come for it and I’m not leaving until I get it.

DRACHMA: That makes a change. I thought you might be after money.

LANDLORD: That’s exactly what I’m after!

DRACHMA: You’re out of luck. I’m that poor I can’t even afford electricity.

ALI: It’s true. We have to watch our new TV by candlelight.

LANDLORD: How can you afford a new TV?

DRACHMA: It only cost a pound.

LANDLORD: You bought a TV for a pound?

ALI: That’s right. I saw an advert in Curry’s window that said, TV for sale, £1, volume stuck on full. I thought, I can’t turn that down. (to audience) Think about it.

LANDLORD: How much money do you have?

DRACHMA: Enough to last me the rest of my life – unless I buy something.

LANDLORD: Then why don’t you get a bank loan an pay your rent?

ALI: Banks will only lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

LANDLORD: Can’t you borrow money from somebody?

DRACHMA: There’s only one problem with borrowing money from people.

LANDLORD: And what’s that?

DRACHMA: They usually want it paying back.

ALI: Our only way out of poverty is winning the lottery.

DRACHMA: Being poor is such a burden.

LANDLORD: Then allow me to relieve you of your burden.

ALI: You’re letting us off our rent arrears?

LANDLORD: No, I’m evicting you. But you must still pay off your arrears.

DRACHMA: How much do I owe?

LANDLORD: Five-hundred pounds.

DRACHMA: I don’t have that kind of money!

LANDLORD: What kind do you have?

DRACHMA: Hang on and I’ll see. (takes a £5 note from her bosom which is attached to her bra by a piece of elastic) Here’s a fiver on account.

LANDLORD: On account of what?

DRACHMA: On account of that’s all I’ve got.

LANDLORD: A fiver won’t reduce your arrears by much, but it’s a start. (takes note and puts it in his pocket – Drachma yanks it back and pops it down her bra)

DRACHMA: Come to mama.

LANDLORD: I saw that! Give it back at once!

DRACHMA: No chance.

LANDLORD: Then I’ll just have to get it myself.

DRACHMA: You wouldn’t dare lay a finger on me.

LANDLORD: Where money’s involved, I’ll tackle anything. Even you. (grabs her)

DRACHMA: Take your hands off me!

LANDLORD: Hand it over! (manhandles her)

DRACHMA: (squirming about laughing) Ooooh! Ha-ha-ha!

LANDLORD: Why are you laughing? This is serious business!

DRACHMA: You’re tickling me!

Enter Police Officer (SL)

OFFICER: ‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello! What’s going on here then?

DRACHMA: I’m being molested by this molesterer, officer.

OFFICER: (to Landlord) Is this true, sir?

LANDLORD: Do I look the type of person, who would go around molesting old bags like her?

OFFICER: Quite frankly sir…yes. (grabs hold of him) You’re nicked!

LANDLORD: But, but, but…

OFFICER: No buts sir if you don’t mind.

LANDLORD: (resisting) But I do mind!

OFFICER: Then you leave me with no choice, but to arrest you.

LANDLORD: In that case, you’re going to have to let me go on a technicality.

OFFICER: What technicality?

LANDLORD: Well, technically you’ve already arrested me.

ALI: He’s right you know, you nicked him a minute ago.

OFFICER: So, I did. (to audience) And I can’t arrest him twice, now can I?

LANDLORD: Which means you’ll have to let me go.

OFFICER: (releases him) How am I going to explain this to the chief constable? (exits SR shaking his head) Oh dear, oh dear.

DRACHMA: Well done, Ali. You helped Dracula here, get off.

ALI: I know, mum. Which means he might be grateful and not evict us.

LANDLORD: I want you out of your house by noon!

DRACHMA: Grateful my foot.

LANDLORD: And make sure you leave it in the same state as when you moved in.

ALI: Where are we going to find five-thousand cockroaches, at such short notice?

DRACHMA: Can’t you wait until my son Sinbad, returns from sea? He always brings me back a little something from his voyages.

LANDLORD: When is he due back?

DRACHMA: His ship should be docking anytime now.

LANDLORD: Very well. You have twenty-four hours to come up with the rent or be evicted.

DRACHMA: I’m sure I’ll be able to pay my rent once Sinbad gets here.

LANDLORD: You’d better had, or out you go. (exits SL)

SFX: Ship’s horn.

DRACHMA: That sounded like a ship’s horn.

ALI: It’s probably Sinbad’s ship.

DRACHMA: I only hope he’s brought back something useful. Like money for instance.

ALI: Did dad ever bring anything back from his voyages, mum?

DRACHMA: Yes, and it usually required a visit to the clinic.

ALI: (looking SR) Here comes Sinbad now, mum.

DRACHMA: Does he look loaded?

ALI: Well, he’s carrying a big heavy-looking bag.

DRACHMA: (excited) Ooooh! It’s probably filled with expensive duty free!

Enter Sinbad (SR)

SINBAD: Hello mum! Hello Ali! It’s great to be back home again.

DRACHMA: It’s wonderful to have you home again, Sinbad. Isn’t it, Ali?

ALI: What have you brought us home this time, Sinbad?

DRACHMA: Ali! Your brother has only just returned from months at sea, and all you can think of is pearls, jewels, and gold coins.

ALI: I never mentioned any of those.

DRACHMA: Well, somebody did. And seeing as the subject’s been raised. Have you brought us any pearls, jewels and gold coins, Sinbad?

SINBAD: I had a big chest full of that sort of stuff, mum. But I swapped it for something even more valuable.

DRACHMA: Ooooh! I can’t wait to see what it is!

SINBAD: I’ll show you. (takes a seashell-covered sword from his bag) Here it is. (Drachma stares open-mouthed) Well, say something mum. What’s the matter with her, Ali?

ALI: I think she’s shell-shocked.

DRACHMA: You swapped a fortune in treasure, for a sword covered in seashells!

SINBAD: It’s not any old seashell-covered sword, mum. It’s a magic, seashell-covered sword.

DRACHMA: A magic, seashell-covered sword? What kind of an idiot are you, Sinbad?

ALI: I think he’s been drinking seawater and gone delirious, mum.

SINBAD: This sword was obtained from a Witch Doctor, on the island of Bamboozle.

DRACHMA: He certainly bamboozled you Sinbad.

ALI: And you thought I was the daft one, mum.

SINBAD: They said that this sword would make me my fortune.

DRACHMA: But you already had a fortune in gold and jewels!

SINBAD: (dismissive) Those were mere trifles, mum.

DRACHMA: I like trifle!

ALI: Me too. With lots of squirty cream on top.

DRACHMA: What use is a stupid tourist trinket to us?

ALI: I suppose we could always sell it on eBay, mum.

DRACHMA: We wouldn’t get 50p for that thing. We might as well go home and start packing.

SINBAD: Are we going on holiday then?

ALI: No, we’re being evicted.

SINBAD: Evicted!?

DRACHMA: The landlord’s given us twenty-four hours to pay our rent arrears or be evicted.

ALI: We must also find five-thousand cockroaches.

DRACHMA: Let’s go, Ali.

Exit Drachma and Ali (SL)

SINBAD: I believe this sword is the key to making my fortune. I don’t know how yet, but I’m sure it will happen soon. Then they’ll eat their words. (exits SL)

Enter Sultan and Sultana (SR) with Guards.

SULTAN: Why have you dragged me to the bazaar this early in the morning?

SULTANA: I wanted to buy some little knick-knacks.

SULTAN: I think extra-large would be more fitting.

SULTANA: (snaps) Cheek! I meant knick-knacks, as in trinkets!

SULTAN: Sorry dear, my mistake.

SULTANA: And my mistake, was marrying you.

SULTAN: At least my people still love me. Whenever I go out, they all wave at me.

SULTANA: Yes, but it would be nice if they used all of their fingers.

SULTAN: You’re very cranky this morning. Has your mirror body-shamed you again?

SULTANA: No, it hasn’t! Haven’t you noticed anything different about me?

SULTAN: That’s the most terrifying thing a woman could ever ask a man.

SULTANA: Well?

SULTAN: You’ve had your hair done?

SULTANA: No!

SULTAN: Nails?

SULTANA: No!

SULTAN: Teeth?

SULTANA: No!

SULTAN: I give up.

SULTANA: Men! What is the actual point of them?

SULTAN: Imagine what the world would be like without men.

SULTANA: It would be colour coordinated and full of happy fat women.

SULTAN: So, what is different about you?

SULTANA: For the first time in my life, I’m wearing the same dress as yesterday!

SULTAN: Then why did you ask if I’d noticed anything different about you?

SULTANA: To emphasise the fact that I can’t afford new clothes.

SULTAN: That’s because we’re skint.

SULTANA: Which is why we must marry Yasmin off to a rich Prince, quick.

SULTAN: She doesn’t seem interested in getting married.

SULTANA: There must be a rich Prince somewhere, who might interest her.

SULTAN: Then let’s return to the palace and make some calls.

SULTANA: Very well. But leave all the talking to me.

SULTAN: I don’t usually have much choice.

Exit Sultan and Sultana (SR)

Enter Grand Vizier and Kumquat (SL)

VIZIER: Greetings, you miserable peasants!

CHORUS: Yeah – greetings you invisible pheasants.

VIZIER: I am the Grand Vizier. And this is Kumquat, my righthand lacky.

KUMQUAT: But I’m lefthanded, boss.

VIZIER: Then you can be my lefthand sidekick instead.

KUMQUAT: What exactly does a sidekick do then?

VIZIER: They stick close to their masters in case they ever need somebody to kick.

KUMQUAT: Can I go back to being your righthand lacky instead?

VIZIER: Too late, Kumquat. (kicks Kumquat)

Enter Yasmin (SR) in a palanquin carried by Guards, followed by Rose.

YASMIN: Halt! (Guards set the palanquin down CS and Yasmin steps out) Come on Rose. I fancy a stroll around the bazaar.

ROSE: Yes, your highness.

VIZIER: Princess Yasmin! It’s not safe for your highness to stop here.

YASMIN: Why not, Vizier?

VIZIER: The bazaar is full of muggers, thieves and villains.

YASMIN: Nonsense – I shop here all the time. Let’s find a jewellery stall Rose.

ROSE: Okay your highness, but I can’t afford anything until payday.

YASMIN: Then allow me to buy you something as a gift.

ROSE: Your highness is too kind. (steps back bowing and bumps into the Vizier)

VIZIER: (snaps) You, clumsy oaf! Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?

YASMIN: Vizier! How dare you speak to Rose, thus!

VIZIER: I will speak as I please to servants.

YASMIN: Rose might be a servant. But she’s also my best friend, and you’d do well to remember that in future.

VIZIER: A thousand pardons, your highness.

YASMIN: You may leave us, Vizier.

VIZIER: I can’t leave your highness here, unprotected.

YASMIN: I’m not unprotected. Rose has a black belt in karate. Haven’t you Rose?

ROSE: Yes, and I will protect your highness with my life.

VIZIER: Is that so? (pulls out a dagger and raises it at Rose)

ROSE: Hi-ya! (blocks his arm and strikes him in the midriff)

YASMIN: Vizier! Why did you just attack Rose?

VIZIER: (wincing) I was just testing her, to see if she really could protect your highness.

YASMIN: And are you satisfied?

KUMQUAT: Satisfied? I think he’s crippled.

VIZIER: Move it Kumquat! (kicks Kumquat)

Exit Vizier and Kumquat (SL) followed by Guards.

YASMIN: What a horrible man, the Vizier is.

ROSE: He gives me the creeps. He’s like a shiver waiting for a spine to run up.

YASMIN: I wish father had never made him Vizier in the first place.

They move to a stall (USL)

Enter Sinbad (DSR)

SINBAD: (to audience) Mum’s still mad at me. So, I’ve returned to the bazaar to buy her something nice as a peace-offering.

YASMIN: (picking up a bangle) What do you think of this, Rose?

ROSE: It’s beautiful your highness.

YASMIN: (drops bangle) Whoops! Butterfingers!

ROSE: I’ll get it!

YAS & ROSE: (they both go to pick it up and bump heads) Ouch!

SINBAD: Allow me, ladies. (picks up the bangle)

YASMIN: (taking the bangle) Thank you, kind sir.

ROSE: It’s nice to know that gentlemen still exist. Isn’t it your highness?

SINBAD: (exclaims) Your highness!?

ROSE: This is her highness, Princess Yasmin.

YASMIN: And now that you know my name, perhaps you’ll tell me yours.

SINBAD: It’s Sinbad, your highness. And I’m a sailor.

YASMIN: I’ve heard much about your adventures, Sinbad.

SINBAD: Really? And what have you heard, Princess?

YASMIN: That you sail the seven seas, in search of treasure?

SINBAD: I do. But little did I know that the greatest treasure was right here in Tangiers.

YASMIN: And what treasure might that be?

SINBAD: Why your highness, of course.

YASMIN: You flatter me Sinbad.

SINBAD: It’s true. I’ve sailed the world over and have yet to meet anyone more beautiful.

YASMIN: And I’ve not met anybody as brave and as handsome as you, Sinbad. Music cue 2: Yasmin and Sinbad. After song ends…

Enter Vizier and Kumquat (SL)

ROSE: (to audience) Oh look. It’s the return of Batman and Robin.

VIZIER: (indicating Sinbad) Is this person bothering your highness?

YASMIN: Of course not. (to Sinbad) I think it best if you left now, Sinbad.

SINBAD: When will I see you again?

YASMIN: I’ll meet you here at the same time tomorrow.

SINBAD: I shall count the minutes, Yasmin.

VIZIER: How dare you call the Princess by her first name! On your knees, dog!

SINBAD: Who are you to order me about?

ROSE: He’s the Grand Vizier. Be careful you don’t annoy him, Sinbad.

KUMQUAT: I second that – otherwise he’ll only kick me.

VIZIER: Correct! (kicks Kumquat) Your highness shouldn’t mix with commoners.

YASMIN: Sinbad may be common, but he has an honest heart. Unlike someone I know.

The Vizier secretly signals to a Guard who removes the jewel from the top of Yasmin’s palanquin and slips it into Sinbad’s pocket.

VIZIER: And what makes your highness believe that Sinbad has an honest heart?

YASMIN: I’m a good judge of character. Unlike father when he appointed you, Vizier.

VIZIER: Your highness does me a great disservice. I am dedicated to serving your father, the Sultan. (pointing) Your highness! The jewel from your palanquin, is missing!

ROSE: Somebody must have stolen it!

YASMIN: I don’t care, Rose. I always found it rather vulgar.

VIZIER: (to Guards) Search everyone until it’s found!

YASMIN: But I’ve just said it doesn’t matter, Vizier.

VIZIER: It’s my duty to uphold the law your highness. The thief must be found, so that innocent people aren’t suspected.

SINBAD: He’s right Yasmin. I wouldn’t like to be accused of a crime I hadn’t committed.

VIZIER: I’m glad you agree. (to Guards) Search him first.

YASMIN: No, Vizier! I forbid it!

SINBAD: It’s all right Yasmin. I have nothing to hide. (holds up his arms) Search away.

Guards search Sinbad and the jewel is discovered.

GUARD: (holds up the jewel) Here it is!

VIZIER: Aha! So, we have the thief!

SINBAD: (shocked) I don’t understand! How did that get in there?

VIZIER: Because you stole it?

SINBAD: I’m no thief.

VIZIER: Then how come the jewel was found in your pocket?

SINBAD: I don’t know. (accusingly) Somebody must have planted it there.

KUMQUAT: That’s what they all say.

SINBAD: Surely you believe me, Yasmin.

YASMIN: I do believe you, Sinbad.

VIZIER: Your highness is too trusting. (to Guards) Seize him!

Guards seize Sinbad.

SINBAD: Where are you taking me?

VIZIER: You will be brought before the Sultan, for execution.

ROSE: Don’t you mean, trial?

VIZIER: It’s an open and shut case.

YASMIN: No, Vizier! I love Sinbad!

SINBAD: You do!?

YASMIN: From the moment our eyes first met.

SINBAD: I also feel the same way about you, Yasmin.

VIZIER: (sneers) How touching.

YASMIN: Don’t worry Sinbad. Everything will be fine once I’ve explained to father.

SINBAD: Even if I’m sentenced to death. I will die happy knowing that you love me.

VIZIER: Take him away!

Exit Vizier, Kumquat and Guards with Sinbad (SL)

YASMIN: Go and tell Sinbad’s mother what’s happened, while I return to the palace and speak to father. Hurry Rose, there’s not a moment to lose.

ROSE: Yes, your highness. (exits at a run SL)

Exit Yasmin at a run (SR)