Jack And The Beanstalk Version 2


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The village of Mutch Twittering is being terrorised by the Giant Snot, aided by Witch Hazel and her henchman Fleshcreep.

When dairy-owner Dame Trott, can’t pay up, she sells her cow Daisy, to raise the rent money. But her son Simon is tricked into selling Daisy to Fleshcreep for a bag of beans. Daisy is taken away to the Giant’s castle in the clouds, along with Jack’s girlfriend, Jill.

Jack must find a way to rescue them before they become giant snacks. Cue a giant beanstalk.


11 principals, plus a minor speaking role for the Chamberlain. Also a voiceover Giant, plus a chorus and a pantomime cow.


All our scripts have a runtime of approximately 2hrs (not including any interval) but this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.


Our pantomimes all come with a full, suggested songs, music cues and SFX list.


Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample




Buttercup The Cow
Royal Chamberlain
The Giant [voiceover]
Dancers; Villagers; Milkmaids; Goblins; etc.



Trott’s Dairy is [USR] Chorus and Jack are onstage. Music cue 1: Chorus and Jack. After song ends…

JACK: That was great fun everybody, wasn’t it?

CHORUS: Yes, Jack!

SFX: Lights flicker and thunder rolls.

Chorus look up in fear.

CHORUS 1: It sounds like Snot the Giant’s moving his furniture about again.

CHORUS 2: I hate being reminded of him up there.

GIANT: Fee-fi-fo-fum!I hate all human scum!

Exit Chorus screaming.

JACK: One day I’ll bring Snot down to earth, or my name isn’t Jack Trott. I’d better check on our cow Buttercup, the giant’s roar always makes her nervous. See you later boys and girls. [waves and exits SR]

Music cue 2: Enter Witch Hazel [DSL] carrying a broomstick.

WITCH: Don’t worry about the giant, boys and girls, he loves children. Especially in steak and kiddie pie. [laughs]

GIANT: Fee-fi-fo-fum!Hurry up and feed me, mum!

WITCH: I’m not really Snot’s mum. I only magicked him up to terrify the villagers, but I’m fed up with running about after him now. [shouts] Fleshcreep!

Enter Fleshcreep at a run [SR]

FLESHCREEP: You called, your evilness?

WITCH: Snot’s hungry, capture some humans and take them to his castle..

FLESHCREEP: But how can I get up to his castle in the clouds, your nastiness?

WITCH: On this broomstick I pinched from Harry Potter.

FLESHCREEP: Cor! It’s the Nimbus XR2, and it’s in mint condition!

WITCH: And make sure you keep it that way.

FLESHCREEP: I’ll treat it like a baby, mistress.

WITCH: I hope not, you usually eat babies.

FLESHCREEP: I’ve given up eating babies mistress.

WITCH: How come?

FLESHCREEP: I’ve moved on to toddlers now.

SFX: Thunder rolls.

WITCH: Snot’s tummy’s rumbling. Feed him, and then collect the villager’s rent.

FLESHCREEP: Yes, your dreadfulness. [exits SL]

WITCH: Now I can concentrate on making the villager’s lives even more miserable than they already are. [exits SL laughing]

Enter Chorus [SR] Music cue 3: Chorus. At a point in the song Dame Dottie enters [USR] and walks down a corridor made by the Chorus. After song ends…Exit Chorus [SR]

DAME TROTT: Hello everybody! I’m Dame Dottie Trott of Trott’s Dairy, and I supply milk to the whole village of Mutch Twittering. Not me personally, my cow Buttercup, and it’s delivered by my sons, Jack and Simon. Jack’s a clever lad, but Simon’s a bit dim. Mind you he was born during a power cut. [twirls] Do you like the outfit? Some people call me a diva, but I believe if you’ve got it, flaunt it. Mind you, with the cost of living crisis I can’t afford dresses like this anymore. I also can’t afford my energy bills, and I’m in danger of being cut off.

Enter Simon at a run [SL]

SIMON: [gasping] Hello mum.

DAME TROTT: Hello Simon, have you seen our Jack anywhere? He’s supposed to be taking Buttercup to market this morning.

SIMON: You’re not selling her are you mum?

DAME TROTT: No, I’m entering her in the most beautiful cow contest. She’s bound to win, and the prize money will help pay off all my debts.

SIMON: [gasping] I haven’t seen Jack all morning, mum.

DAME TROTT: How come you’re out of breath, Simon?

SIMON: You said we had to economise so, I ran all the way here behind a bus to save on bus fare.

DAME TROTT: How much did you save?

SIMON: 50p.

DAME TROTT: You should’ve run behind a taxi and saved a tenner.

SIMON: I’ll try and remember that next time.

DAME TROTT: Let me see those milk bottles. [checks] All that jogging’s turned the milk to butter, it’s no wonder everybody calls you Simple Simon.

SIMON: I’m not stupid mum!

DAME TROTT: Well you give a very good impression.

SIMON: If I’m stupid, then it’s your genes to blame.

DAME TROTT: Any stupid genes come from your father’s side of the gene pool.

SIMON: What do you mean, mum?

DAME TROTT: He was from the shallow end.

SIMON: How come you’ve never told me what happened to dad?

DAME TROTT: I’m waiting until you’ve grown up before I tell you the grisly details

SIMON: But I am growed up mum.

DAME TROTT: Only from the neck down son. If you must know, he believed he’d live longer by sprinkling a little gunpowder on his porridge every morning. But he died suddenly, leaving me with two sons to bring up, plus a big hole in the wall of the crematorium to pay for. Mind you, he always said he wanted to go out with a bang.

SIMON: It sounds like he achieved his ambition.

DAME TROTT: I’d better try and find Jack, or Buttercup might miss the beauty contest. Bye Simon. [leaves milk carrier upstage and exits SL]

SIMON: It gets me down when people call me Simple Simon, but maybe you can all help cheer me up. Every time I come on and shout hiya boys and girls, you all shout back, hiya Simon, and it’ll help cheer me up. Let’s have a practice then. [exits and re-enters] Hiya boys and girls! Let’s try it again, and if you shout loud enough I’ll share my sweeties with you. [repeat business] Fantastic! Here you go then. [distributes sweets]

Enter Jack [SR] with Buttercup who wears a big bow around her neck.

JACK: Hiya Simon!

SIMON: Where have you been Jack? Mum’s been looking everywhere for you.

JACK: I’ve been at the garage Simon.

SIMON: But you don’t even own a car.

JACK: Mum asked me to wash and groom Buttercup ready for the most beautiful cow contest, and I took her through the car wash to save time.

SIMON: Don’t you mean the cow wash? [laughs]