Goldilocks And The Three Bears

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SKU: goldilocksFS Category:

Description

Synopsis:

The Royal Family of Beargonia have been turned into bears by an evil witch called Frogmella, and spend their lives foraging for food in the woods. But Fairy Good gives them a magic cooking pot, that will provide them with whatever food they wish for. Although all the ever seem to wish for, is porridge. Frogmella is determined to get her hands on the magic pot, and crosses paths with Fairy Good and Professor Stein, who is trying to capture the ‘Talking Bears’ for scientific purposes. Strangely, the story also includes Frankenstein’s monster.

Roles:

12 principals, plus a chorus, a pantomime cow and Frankenstein’s Monster.

Runtime:

All of our scripts have a runtime of approx 120 minutes, assuming that you use the full number of suggested musical numbers and not including any interval. But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit.

Music:

All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:

Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample

Characters

Goldilocks
Dame Dolly Dumpling
Igor
Professor Stein
Frogmella
Ant
Dec
Father Bear
Mother Bear
Baby Bear
Fairy Good
Buttercup The Cow
Constable Truncheon
Frankenstein’s Monster

Chorus/Minor Roles

Schoolchildren
Villagers
Brownies
Ghouls, etc

Scene Five

Dame Dumpling’s Kitchen


Music cue 14: Children/Chorus.
After song ends…All exit. Dame, Goldilocks, Igor and the three Bears enter (SR)

Dame Dolly

(to Igor and Bears) Welcome to my humble abode.

M. Bear

It’s very good of you to let us stay, Dame Dumpling.

B. Bear

Frogmella will never find us here.

SFX: Door knocking.

The Bears look startled.

B. Bear

Maybe I spoke too soon.

Goldilocks

Quick you, bears! Go and hide upstairs!

The Bears exit (SL)

Igor

I’ll see who it is.

Igor opens the door and Professor Stein enters.

Dame Dolly

Professor Stein!

Professor

Where are the talking bears?

Goldilocks

(innocently) Talking bears Professor?

Professor

I know they are here.

Igor

Who told you that?

Music cue 15: Fairy Good enters.

Fairy Good

I did.

Dame Dolly

Who are you?

Fairy Good

I’m Fairy Good.

Dame Dolly

Fair enough.

Professor

She is a charlatan! There are no such things as fairies.

Fairy Good

Of course I’m a Fairy. Look, I’ve got the outfit…the wand…the magic words…

Dame Dolly

…And what are these ‘magic’ words?

Fairy Good

Oh they’re…(thinks)…erm…no don’t tell me…it’s ‘bangers’ and something. Oh, me and my memory. It’s a good job I have my backup. (to audience) What are the magic words again, boys and girls? (audience respond) Bangers and mash, that’s it! Thanks everyone.

Igor

All right, the bears are here. But no one must know.

Professor

Why not?

Goldilocks

Because a nasty witch is after their magic cooking pot, and will stop at nothing to get hold of it.

Professor

There is no such thing as magic, or fairies or witches. But I would like to meet these talking bears. Purely in the interests of science you understand.

Dame Dolly

(shouts to wing) You can come down now!

M. Bear and F. Bear enter (SL)

F. Bear

(offers a handshake) Professor Stein, I presume.

Professor

(ecstatic) At last, I have found the talking bears!

M. Bear

Yes, and if you found us then so might Frogmella.

F. Bear

And we’ll need more than bangers and mash to beat her.

Goldilocks

Why don’t we ask the villagers to help us?

Igor

Good idea Goldie. Come on everybody, let’s go and tell them what Frogmella’s up to.

M. Bear

What about Teddy? He’s asleep upstairs.

Dame Dolly

Don’t worry, I’ll look after him. Now off you go and I’ll have a big pot of porridge waiting for when you return.

Igor

Follow me everyone.

The others follow Igor off through the front door.

Professor

I mustn’t let the talking bears out of my sight! (exits after them)

Dame Dolly

(suddenly realises) Just a minute. I don’t know how to make porridge.

SFX: Door knocking.

Dame Dolly

Come in!

Ant and Dec enter through door.

Ant

(to Dame) Hello Miss. Is your mum in?

Dame Dolly

No, she’s out hang-gliding. Can I be of assistance?

Dec

Yes. (takes out a tub of butter and a knife and proceeds to ‘butter’ her)

Dame Dolly

Ooooh! What a liberty!

Ant

(pulling him away) What do you think you’re doing?

Dec

Buttering her up like Frogmella said.

Ant

She meant ‘flatter her’ you idiot!

Dec

Oh, I see.

Ant

(to Dame) Sorry about that madam. Only my colleague suffers from a rare affliction of the brain.

Dame Dolly

And what’s that then?

Ant

He hasn’t got one.

Dec

Dame Dumpling, you have the grace of a dancer.

Ant

(aside to audience) A clog dancer.

Dec

The figure of a model.

Ant

(aside to audience) A model bus.

Dec

And the looks of a film star.

Ant

(aside to audience) Shrek.

Dame Dolly

(has been preening throughout) That’s all very flattering, but I can’t stand here all day listening to you telling me how wonderful I am. I have a pot of porridge to make.

Dec

Oh we love porridge, don’t we Ant?

Ant

(nods) Yeah!

Dame Dolly

Really! I don’t suppose you know how to make it do you?

Dec

We certainly do.

Dame Dolly

So what do we need then?

Ant

Oh…er…excuse us again. (takes Dec aside) Do you remember how mam used to make porridge for our breakfast?

Dec

Yeah, she got some stuff out of a box.

Ant

I know that you twit! But can you remember what it said on the box?

Dec

‘Ready’ something.

Ant

Ready steady go?

Dec

No it wasn’t that.

Ant

Ready or not here I come?

Dec

No it wasn’t that either.

Ant

Ready-mixed concrete?

Dec

No, but it used to set like concrete.

Ant

That’s true. Even her fairy cakes were like bricks.

Dec

Bricks! That’s it! It said ‘Ready Brix’ on the box!

Dame Dolly

Well?

Ant


(to Dame) We need some bricks!

Dame Dolly

I’ll hit you with one in a minute! I don’t believe you know how to make porridge at all!

Dec

Yes, we do! But it might jog our memory if we could look at a recipe book.

Dame Dolly

(picks up a cookbook) Here we are. Delia Smith’s ‘Cooking For Dummies’. (opens the book) Let’s see now. Porridge…porridge…ah, here we are. (reads) First you need to go into a field and sow your oats. Well I’ve already done that. Then wait five months for it to grow. I can’t wait that long! I’d better skip forward a few pages. (turns several pages) Here we are. Take one box of oats and a bucket of milk. (to Dec) Right you fetch the oats…(to Ant)…and you fetch the milk.

Ant & Dec

Okey-dokey!

Ant and Dec exit (SR)

Dame Dolly

I’m looking forward to this. It’s ages since I had any oats.

Dec enters with a box of oats.

Dec

(holds up the box) Here’s the oats!

Dame Dolly

Good. Now we just need some milk.

Ant enters with an empty bucket.

Ant

(shows the empty bucket) I couldn’t find any milk.

Dame Dolly

Never mind, we can get some from my cow Buttercup. She’s just sunbathing on the patio, so you’d better help me call her. After three…three!

All

(call) Buttercup!

Dame Dolly

It’s no use, she’s deaf as a doorpost. (to audience) Will you boys and girls help us call Buttercup? (audience respond) After three…three! (leads audience) Buttercup!

Buttercup enters (SL) wearing a flowery hat, sunglasses and a large hearing-aid around her neck, which is ‘plugged’ into her ears.

Dec

(laughing) I’ve never seen a cow wearing an iPod before.

Dame Dolly

That’s not an iPod! It’s her hearing-aid. (Buttercup dances) It keeps picking up… (name of local radio station – turns to Ant) Right you, get milking.

Ant

Right’o. (places the bucket under Buttercup’s udders and walks around Buttercup scratching his head)

Dame Dolly

What are you looking for?

Ant

A handle. (grabs Buttercup’s tail) Ah, here it is. (pumps her tail up and down)

SFX: Squeaking handle noise.

Dec

(looking at the bucket) I think it’s run out of milk.

Dame Dolly

I think you’ve both run out of brains. Here, let me show you how it’s done. (pushes Ant out of the way, kneels by Buttercup and gives a few hefty tugs at her udders. A carton of milk falls into the bucket and she lifts it out) Thank you Buttercup, you can go now. (Buttercup doesn’t move) I said, ‘you can go now’! (Buttercup doesn’t move) I’ll just turn her hearing-aid up. (does so and shouts) You can go now!

Buttercup suddenly straightens up in fright and drops another carton of milk.

Dame Dolly

Blimey! Next time I need an extra pinta, I’ll just turn up the volume. (Buttercup exits SL) Right…(to Dec)…you pour the oats into that pot over there…(to Ant)…and you add the milk.

Ant pours oats into the pot and Dec throws in an unopened milk carton.

Dec

No, you idiot! The instructions said ‘two pints’! (throws the other unopened carton into the pot)

Dame Dolly

Give it a good stir.

Ant & Dec

Right’o. (they stir the pot)

Dame Dolly

Now keep an eye on it while I go and check on the bear…I mean…go and check my hair. (exits SL)

Ant

Right, let’s steal the pot and scarper.

They strain to lift the pot, without success.

Dec

It’s too heavy with all that porridge in it.

Ant

Then we’ll just have to get rid of it.

Dec

How?

Ant

I’ve got an idea. (to audience) Would anybody like some of this lovely porridge? (audience respond) Right Dec, you serve the ones on the left and I’ll serve the ones on the right.

They load the plates with porridge (stage foam/custard pie) before heading into the audience. They pick out members of the audience ‘pie’ them before returning to the stage.

Dec

They seemed to enjoy that porridge, Ant.

Ant

They certainly did, let’s fill up some more plates.

They chuck the dirty plates upstage and load 2 more plates with porridge.

Dame Dolly enters.

Dame Dolly

‘Ere, what are you doing with that porridge?

Dec

Oh…er…we thought we’d let the audience taste it first, to see if it’s up to scratch.

Dame Dolly

What a good idea. But you must learn how to serve it like a proper waiter. Allow me to demonstrate. (stands between them and positions their hands like a waiter holding the plates of ‘porridge’ with her own hands underneath the plates) Perfect. Now, on the count of three I want you to say ‘here is your porridge, sir’. (get audience to count) One…two…three!

Ant & Dec

Here is your porridge, sir.

Dame Dolly

And here’s yours! (brings her hands up and shoves the plates into their faces) That’s for messing up my kitchen.

Baby Bear enters (SR) and Ant and Dec point at him, knowingly.

B. Bear

(sniffs) Mmmm! Porridge! Can I have some?

Dame Dolly

‘Course you can, er…son.

Ant & Dec

(exclaim) Son!?

Dame Dolly

He’s adopted. (to Baby Bear) I’ll just fetch you some. (goes to the pot turning her back on them and starts loading a plate)

Ant

(takes Dec downstage) We’ll never get our hands on the cooking pot now. Let’s nab Baby Bear instead.

Dec

Okay.

They take Baby Bear by the arms and drag him towards the door.

Ant

Come along Teddy.

B. Bear

Let go of me!

Dame Dolly

(turns and spots them) ‘Ere, where do you think you’re going with him?

Dec

Er…we’re just taking him for a walk while the porridge cools.

Dame Dolly

Oh no, you don’t. I’m not letting him go off with total strangers.

Ant

Don’t worry, he’ll be perfectly safe and we’ll bring him straight back.

Dec

(to Ant) But I thought we were kidnapping him and taking him to Frogmella.

Ant

(hits him) You idiot!

B. Bear

It’s the burglars!

Dame Dolly

Burglars, in my house! Ooooh! What a liberty! (rushes to attack them, but Dec pulls her oversized hat down over her eyes) Help! Who turned the lights out?

Ant

(to Dec) Quick! Let’s scarper!

Ant and Dec drag Baby Bear off, leaving Dame struggling with the hat.

Dame Dolly

Help! Burglars! Kidnappers!

Goldilocks and Igor rush on (SR) followed by F. Bear, M. Bear, Professor Stein and Fairy Good.

Goldilocks

What’s the matter, mum?

Dame Dolly

(finally manages to get the hat off) They’ve kidnapped Baby Bear!

M. Bear

Oh no, my poor baby!

F. Bear

Frogmella must be behind this!

Fairy Good

Fear not. I’ll use my magic to find him.

Professor

Forget magic. I will return to my laboratory and use science to pinpoint his exact whereabouts.

Goldilocks

I’d better tell the villagers what’s happened. (calls off) Come on in, everyone!

Chorus rush on.

Chorus 3

What is it Goldie?

Goldilocks

(to Chorus) Baby Bear’s been kidnapped.

Chorus 1

That’s terrible!

Igor

Will you help us find him?

Chorus

‘Course we will! (to the other Villagers) Won’t we?

Chorus 2

Yes!

Goldilocks

Don’t worry Mr and Mrs Bear. We’ll soon find Teddy.