Ali Baba And The Raiders Of The Lost Pyramid



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Ali Baba and the Raiders of the Lost Pyramid, is set in Egypt amidst the shifting sands of the Sahara. And features a lost pyramid, a mummy, and a sniffer-camel.

Ali Baba is returning home after serving two years in the French Foreign Legion and intends to use Sopwith the Camel to sniff out a lost pyramid, rumoured to hold a fabulous treasure. But he must also contend with the outlaw Cassim and his thieving gang of cut-throats.

This rollicking fun-filled adventure pays tongue-in-cheek homage to both Star Wars and The Raiders Of The Lost Ark movies.


13 principals plus several minor speaking roles and a chorus, plus a camel.


All of our scripts have a runtime of under 2hrs (not including any interval) But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit your own needs.


All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.


Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.

Free Sample




Pickpocketed Man
Tourist Guide
Sopwith The Camel
Dancers; Citizens; Tourists; Sand People; Skeletons; etc.




Baba’s Barber Shop is [DSR] a chair is outside, with a barber’s cape draped over the back. Music cue 1: Chorus. After song ends…

Enter Donna Baba [SL]

CHORUS 1: Hello Donna! Is that a new dress you’re wearing?

DONNA: No, it’s from Oxfam. I’m that poor I can’t even afford to shop at Primark.

CHORUS 2: Isn’t your barber shop a roaring success then?

DONNA: It might be if it was staffed. But Rhum’s never around when he’s needed.

CHORUS 3: You mean he’s hair today and gone tomorrow? [laughs]

DONNA: Very funny.

CHORUS 4: He’s probably gone camel racing Donna.

DONNA: I tried that once, but never again.

CHORUS 1: Why, what happened?

DONNA: I fell off at the start and got trampled underfoot.

CHORUS 2: That would explain the state of your face.

CHORUS 3: Not to mention your body.

DONNA: Cheek! Most women would die for a body like mine. In fact, it’s such a perfect specimen I’m even considering leaving it to medical science.

CHORUS 4: You ought to leave it to science fiction.

Exit Chorus [SL] laughing.

DONNA: Cheek! Hello boys and girls! I’m Donna Baba, a poor young widow. My late husband died after he backed into a lathe and gave himself a nasty turn. I sank the insurance money into a barber’s shop, and it’s been a disaster due to my two sons, Rhum and Ali. Rhum doesn’t know the difference between a crew cut and a full perm. And Ali disappeared two years ago, and I haven’t heard from him since. I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead. If he ever turns up again, I’ll kill him! Rhum should’ve opened the shop hours ago, I’d better find him. Bye for now! [exits SR]

Enter Rhum [SL]

RHUM: Hello everybody! Welcome to old Cairo! I’m Rhum Baba and I’m a barber. Now, you all look a cut above, and I’m wondering if you’d like to be my friends? Well, would you? Now, what friendly greeting shall we have? I know! Whenever I come on and shout Rhum-tiddly-om-pom, and you all reply, pom-pom! Let’s try it then. [exits and re-enters] Rhum-tiddly-om-pom! Let’s do it again, and this time I want you to open your mouths that wide, I can look past your tonsils and see what you had for breakfast. [repeats business and points at audience] Cornflakes, scrambled egg, chicken Vindaloo!?

Enter Customer [SR] wearing a curly black wig underneath a turban.

RHUM: A customer! Good morning sir, and what can I do for you today?

MAN: I’d like a short back and sides please.

RHUM: Certainly, sir. [shows him to chair] Please take a seat.

MAN: Shouldn’t we go inside the shop first?

RHUM: I’m afraid our electric’s been cut off, so we’re doing customers outside instead.

MAN: Then it’s a good job it’s nice and sunny, isn’t it? [sits]

RHUM: [places cape around Man] I notice you have a touch of dandruff, sir.

MAN: Yes, I’ve tried everything to clear it but nothing seems to work.

RHUM: Then today is your lucky day. [produces a small bottle] This will get rid of your dandruff, in five seconds flat.

MAN: That sounds marvellous! I’ll have some.

RHUM: Now I must warn you, it’s very strong and might sting a bit.

MAN: I think I can cope with a little bit of stinging. Let me have it. [Rhum sprinkles contents on man’s head and rubs it in] Aaaah! [jumps up] My head’s on fire! [dashes about stage in panic]

RHUM: Hold on! [wraps a towel around Man’s head]

MAN: [soothed] Ooooh! That’s better. [sits again]

RHUM: I did warn you it might sting a bit.

MAN: It certainly did. But it’ll be worth it if it gets rid of my dandruff.

RHUM: I’ll just count to five before I remove the towel, and it will all have gone. [gets audience to count along] One…two…three…four…five! [removes towel along with Man’s wig, revealing a bald head] Woah!

MAN: Has it all gone?

RHUM: It sure has.

MAN: [feeling his scalp] Aaaah! [jumps up] I’m completely bald!

RHUM: Maybe I put a bit too much on.

MAN: All my beautiful locks have gone!

RHUM: Yes, but look on the bright side. At least you won’t be bothered by dandruff ever again.

MAN: [draws a dagger] And neither will you once I’ve removed your head!

RHUM: Now, now, sir! Keep your hair on! What am I saying!? It’s time to throw the towel in! [throws towel holding wig at Man] Bye! [exits at a run SL]

MAN: Come back here, you shyster! [exits after him]

Enter Donna [SL]

DONNA: I can’t find Rhum anywhere. But when I do, he won’t know what’s hit him.

Enter Rhum at a run [SL] looking behind him and crashes into Donna.

RHUM: Whoops!

DONNA: [falls on floor revealing comedy bloomers] You clumsy great oaf, Rhum!

RHUM: Sorry mum, but a mad, bald-headed customer is chasing me.

DONNA: Why is a bald-headed customer chasing you?

RHUM: Because he wasn’t bald when he came in.

DONNA: What on earth did you do to him!?

RHUM: I used that new anti-dandruff lotion on him, and it wasn’t only the dandruff that disappeared.

DONNA: You useless great twit! Can’t you do anything right?

RHUM: It’s not my fault, you’re the one who bought it off eBay!

DONNA: That’s right, blame me for everything.

Enter Fatima [SR]

FATIMA: Cooeee, Rhum!

DONNA: It’s Fatima from Fatima’s Pizza Parlour.

RHUM: Every day she visits the bazaar hoping to attract a man, but all she attracts are funny looks.

FATIMA: Do you fancy taking me up the casbah tonight Rhum?

RHUM: I’d love to Fatima, but I’m afraid I can’t.

FATIMA: Why not?

RHUM: I’m just off to join the Foreign Legion. [turns to go]

DONNA: [pulls him back] You can’t join the foreign legion, Rhum!

RHUM: Why can’t I?

DONNA: Because you’re not foreign!

RHUM: I’m half foreign.

DONNA: No, you’re not.

RHUM: But you told me that dad was from abroad.

DONNA: Yes – in Norfolk!